Personal Narrative: Why I Lie

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Why I Lie? The thought occurred to me that expectation creeps behind everyone just as it stands behind me. The entirety of my academic career was degraded to a social label, a representation of a number, and a letter that I dread most. The ideas associated with being intelligent is not a gift but more of a burden. Expectations are not everlasting, but the effect they have last longer than even the most vicious of flesh wounds. Waiting for failure, it becomes inevitable to live up to expectation, it is even more accurate to describe expectation as a torture of the mind and intelligences as the perpetrator. “Rank 1,” “ smart kid,” “ genius” are the few words of ridicule I face on a daily basis. These words fail to even address the most basic of human sentiment, a name. A name which has the most significant impact on a human being is disregarded for a brand not distinguishable from lamentable cattles. Even my friends changes in accordance to the letters etched on my forehead, and the serial numbers on my clothes. There are days where I do not feel human. There are hours where I feel alienated. There are minutes where I question why I continue lying to myself. There are seconds where I ask if this is Tien Nguyen. …show more content…

I carry the world so those close to me will not have to worry. I lie to my friends by smiling and saying everything is fine. I lie to my parents, so I can stay up late working. I lie to my brother, so he doesn’t suffer my fate, and I will continue to lie. I lie out of selfishness so others around will not have the burden of comforting me. But it is difficult to lie. It is hard to impersonate someone you’re not and even harder to continue this into perpetuity. I feel as if I am living in a sphere of lies most of the time, but I am not sure. A fragile world of expectations built by lies that can shatter at the strike of failure. Anxiety attacks me when I fail to comply to expectation, and I blame myself as a

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