Personal Narrative: My Family Analysis

I am the baby in a family of nine; I have four sisters ages 31, 38, 40, and 41 along with two brothers 23 and 39. My family moved to America from Liberia, Africa when I was 4 years old, we left Africa in 1997 to escape the impending civil war. Only my parents, five of my siblings and me were able to immigrate to the United States, my oldest sister stayed in Liberia with her two children because she was over the immigration age limit. My family and I were very fortunate when we came because my dad had two siblings already living in Austin, Texas and another in Dallas; they gave us a lot of emotional and financial support as well as helped us acclimate to life in the United States. Our first home in Austin was a small three bedroom apartment

expected to house four of my siblings, my parents and me, a total of 7 of us. While struggling to save for a house my mother worked two jobs while my dad worked one and went to an engineering trade school.

Eventually my parents were able to find a house in the same neighborhood as one of my aunts, in Southwest Austin. Our house was not big but it had a backyard and could accommodate 6 people once one of my sisters and my oldest brother got married and moved out. Living in a house with a backyard and a neighborhood with kids from school, really helped my brother and I make friends and adjust to our new surroundings.
Being immigrants greatly influenced my family’s dynamics. When my parents immigrated to the U.S. they did not have very much besides the help of their friends and family who immigrated to the country before them; therefore, we have an unspoken theme that family always comes first. Our family theme plays a great part in the boundaries and roles that my parents set for my siblings and me. We were always expected to treat our older family members with respect, which meant waiting on them, giving up our rooms if we had a long term guest, and other tasks that showed respect. We also had to abide by those older family members rules and treat them as we would treat our parents. Although “family first” is a huge emphasis in my family system; my family is not open, meaning we keep our private information within our immediate family. Our boundaries were

determined by the weight/impact of the information. If there was a problem in our immediate family that would impact everybody or that could not be hidden, then my parents would find it suitable to inform all of us. Financial problems and fights between my parents, however; were only discussed with my siblings over age 21. My older siblings were seen as adults with their own source of income; therefore they wouldn’t feel the stress of my parent’s financial struggle as much as my younger siblings and I. While growing up I always loved that my family was so close to one another. My mother’s birthday is Christmas Eve, so we had a family tradition of having a huge party with all of our friends and family on her birthday and opening our Christmas presents right at midnight. When I was in the eighth grade my grandmother (father side), who was the glue of our family, passed away and the majority of our traditions stopped. We still had parties but only for celebrations like weddings and some birthdays; my mother started working the night of her birthday and most holidays. My mother had to work two jobs the majority of my childhood, because when my dad started making money he spent it all on lottery tickets. In high school my mom sent me to live with one of my older sisters; she felt that her working all the time left me unsupervised and at risk for getting in trouble.
I’ve always felt like I had a happy childhood, especially in my earlier years. An amazing family (mother and 2 boys) in our neighborhood made an effort to help my mother and father out with us whenever they needed; they understood that it can be hard getting on ones feet after transitioning to a new country. My brother and I would ride our bikes to school with the boys and their mother helped us get our first library card, and got us a membership at the YMCA. When my parents signed my brother and me up for soccer, they would come to our games and even take us sometimes when my parents were working. My childhood was also great because I got the most attention from my dad since I was the baby of the family; he would always get clothes and jewelry that said angel and princess on it, which always made me, feel special. As I got older I started to feel discontent with my childhood because my mother was always working and I wanted her to be one of those moms that took their kids to the park and went to PTA meetings. By the time I got into high school and an unfortunate circumstance happened with my father that revealed a secret affair; my point of view on my parents changed. I realized that I have an amazing mother who works hard so that she can give her children everything that they need; despite living with a spouse who brings her down and I love her for that. My life has been influenced so much by the strength and determination of my mother and two sisters. My mother went through a lot with my father in Africa and his behavior did not change by moving to a new country; because of her struggle she has always told me to not live life for a man and to be able to support myself with no help. She has continuously made decisions that have benefited my life for the best. For example, she sent me to KIPP Austin College prep my last year in middle school; going to a college prep school really motivated me to succeed. The sister I lived with through high school has always been a mother figure to me; she has provided me with emotional and financial support and most of all friendship. My sister closest to me in age was the first to go to a four year college at the University of Houston; her drive has always pushed me to make something of my life.
I knew my parents were not rich but they never seemed poor to me, we lived in a very safe neighborhood in what’s considered the good side of Austin, and they were always able to provide us with the essentials plus more. It was not till going to Bowie High school, a predominately white school, that I realized my socio-economic status was lower than a lot of people in my school. Having a lower status did not stop me from having friends or participating in activities that my friends were in though. The only impact that not having a lot of money had on my family was that we were not able to go on extravagant vacations because my parents were always working. Some times when they could, they would take my brother, sister, and me for a weekend in San Antonio or Dallas to go to an amusement park. I knew my parents did what they could with what they had and I appreciated them for it.
Because my family immigrated to the United States I consider myself a “true” African American rather than Black American which is what I would use to describe those who were born in the U.S. Growing up, kids in my school would call me an “Oreo” meaning black on the outside but acts like a white person; I never believed I acted like a white person but rather the way my parents brought me up. Apparently the way I talked was not common African American speech and I was not as loud as I should have been. My brother, who was put in third grade with me after my mother decided that he should not move forward, never got made fun of. He acted more like the African American children in our school then I did; but he was also considered the most a strayed from our family values. I can see now that the values that my brother and I chose to uphold affected the way we developed and how we are now as adults.
My family did not have much troubles in my early childhood; there was only one misfortune my senior year in high school that affected my relationship with my father and put our family in a financial burden. My father had a stroke while having an affair with another woman; at the time I still saw him as my amazing dad who would never do anything to hurt our family. His decision, however; prevented me from getting a car because my mom used all of her savings to pay for his hospital bills and take care of finances while he was out of work. My mother was amazing during the whole ordeal; she chose to stay with him and take care of him after his stroke. Like I said my family likes to keep private information within the immediate family, my parents dealt with hardships and difficulty within our home. We never had domestic violence or any other reason to seek outside help; the only difficulties in our family were financial and my mother took care of that by straining herself working two jobs. I would have to say that I had a very mundane childhood; other than being immigrants to the United States my family is like most. We have struggles and hardships in life but we try to stick together and overcome our problems as a family. I was not exposed to situations where there were child abuse or neglect going on in the family but my parents had many immigrant friends who were not as fortunate to have the support that we had when we first came to America. Growing up I noticed the financial struggles and hardships that those families faced and how helpful welfare services like CHIP and Medicaid were to them. Seeing the help they received made me appreciate the welfare system in the U.S. It was obvious that those needy families definitely could have used more than they got; but knowing that there is not a welfare system in Liberia that helps children the way it does in the U.S. made me appreciate those services more.