Personal Narrative: Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned
In the last year I’ve come across many lessons learned but there has been a single overall lesson that has had a substantial effect on my life. A lot of times, a lesson may go in one ear and out the other, but once one sticks it is often that it will be carried along with us all throughout our lives. With that being said, it is my senior year of high school and if I were to narrow the lessons I’ve learned down to the most important I would definitely choose the one that tugs on my heart the most. Toxic relationships are real and it is okay to remove them from your life.
There was a time in my life when I would do absolutely anything I could to make others happy, regardless of how far I was straying from the true me. I had

lost myself somewhere along the way and at the time didn’t have much desire to find myself in the mix. I had begun to sacrifice my own happiness and wellbeing simply so I wouldn’t have to be alone. I was trapped and the people I surrounded myself with were often the quicksand pulling me under.
The first signs that made me realize these toxic people were having an effect on my life all started with a very noticeable change in my mood. I’ve always liked to think of myself as an overall happy person but I had found that I was no longer finding happiness in the many things I once adored. I began putting others happiness ahead of my own and was constantly jumping off of bridges for people who did little in return.

I think I realized I had a problem was when a previous boyfriend of mine had been constantly belittling me and doing everything in his power to make me feel unimportant but at the end of the day he would apologize and I would allow the next day to be a fresh start.

It had gotten to the point to where I didn’t even mention the things he said or did to others around me because I was embarrassed for still holding onto him so tightly. “I guess it is okay to compromise but not if it becomes a habit with you always being the one giving in” was said by Arvind Devalia and I continue to stand by his words. Sadly, this wasn’t the only instance that made me familiar with the toxicity I was allowing in my

life.
Toxic relationships can also come in the form of a friendship and I think it is extremely important for people to not only recognize this but understand that there may come a time when these people simply don’t have a place in one’s life anymore.

Like said by Arvind Devalia “all relationships should be seen as an adventure. And it’s not much fun if someone is taking advantage of our kindness and good hearts.” I, myself, have come across my fair share of toxic friendships. I’ve become very familiar with the characteristics of someone who isn’t healthy to have in one’s own life. Whether it be someone who believes they can be your only friend, someone who calls you names, or even just someone who puts little effort towards being your friend in general but expects you to bend over backward for them in return. These are all examples of people who will pull a cloud of negativity over everyday life and it shouldn’t ever be

normalized.
It is common to feel attached to someone or as if you may be lost without them simply because of the amount of time they had spent in your life but this should not stop you from removing them when it becomes necessary. Before I had understood the quote from Steve Jobs, “Quality is more important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles” I had found myself stuck at a crossroads having the mentality that it was better to have multiple friends as well as a boyfriend regardless of how they treated me. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle with this concept each and every day but when I feel stuck I think “Sometimes you just have to let go and move on” which was said by Arvind Devalia. Afterward I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.
There hasn’t been a single feeling more rewarding than finding myself again. After removing the necessary people and just making myself aware of how I deserve to be treated I have become a more peaceful and all around happy person. I no longer bend over backward for those who give me nothing in return. I no longer devote my time to help change people like Abigail Brenner said, “Toxic people often make you want to fix them and their problems”. I’ve educated myself on what the characteristics of a healthy relationship are and I think it is extremely important for others to do as well.
At the end of the day, I continue to think removing toxic people from your life is an extremely valuable lesson to be learned. Cutting ties with someone who treats you poorly can help you find your way back to the real you and that is the biggest reward one can give to themselves.