Personal Narrative: Leading A Double Life

Leading a double life always seems exciting, from what is portrayed on television, getting in unimaginable situations, hiding your identity, and all the funny gimmicks. The closest one can get to that in reality is by a long shot, well the closest I have to that is a long shot. I don't need a costume change to be a different person, like how the main character instantly turns into someone else just by putting on a wig. These two different persons are both me, they’re not two separate personalities because it’s a combination of both.

I left a life on a pacific island when I was eight to go live somewhere where I can have big dreams. Moving to a place where “you can be anyone you wish” sounds like the fairy godmother granting my wishes. Everyone

there just seemed to be living with high standards in my eyes. “To be like them” is what I thought I aspire to be however it did not cross my mind how much I would have to lose to hop onto this bandwagon. From the very first thing I learned like my language to a small detail like how I eat. I couldn’t just leave what I learned then, it’s my culture, what they’re doing is not my culture. I ended up only speaking my native tongue, eating food I dare to not eat in public all under the roof of my house where it protects me from the judgmental crowd.
When I moved my family didn't bring much, only a weeks worth of clothing and our country’s culture, specially our native tongue. Moving to a whole different country means having to learn a completely different language. Naturally I end up using English more often than Tagalog on a daily basis. As time passed I end up using both English and Tagalog words in the same sentence. Eventually, I found myself thinking and speaking in English more often. Am I losing a part of my culture? It doesn’t feel like I’m missing any part of me. It’s not necessary for me to choose which language is better because I speak both English and Tagalog, not one or the other language.