Personal Narrative-I Am Kiarra A For Antisocial

For those humanoid creatures who don’t know, I am Kiarra “A. for Antisocial” Richardson. Currently, I am thirteen years old and in eighth grade. My hobbies include: reading books and comics, writing stories that will never get read, watching the telly, and generally wallowing in the craziness that is my existence on this floating space rock we call ‘Earth’. Other things that interest me include giving myself fake tattoos, telling terrible anti-jokes, acting like the five-year-old I mentally am, and hitting watermelons with cricket bats. I am the mental and physical equivalent of a hipster with a fedora collection, and I’m almost certain that I like it. I despise exercise, the sun, or any sentence containing the word “boi”. My consorts and comrades are a collection of insane people who somehow find my existence tolerable. If it was up to me, I’d stay in my darkened room doing any of my interests listed above, but the word does not work that way, unfortunately.

I live on a floating space rock near a ball of flaming gas in the middle of a vast universe of millions of other floating space rocks and balls of flaming gas.

More specifically, I live in Feltwell, England. Even more specifically, I live in my room in consequence of my crippling social anxiety. I’ve only ever lived in four places, but I don’t remember the first two places. In chronological order, I’ve lived in: Great Falls, Montana, USA; Fairfield, California, USA; Minot, North Dakota, USA; and Feltwell, England, the United Kingdom. My favourite and by far the place I remember the clearest has been Feltwell. I first moved here in February of 2011, when I was just a wee lass of seven years old. Luckily for me, it happens to also hate my scourge and ruination: the

sun.
My life goals are quite a difficult subject to accumulate in such a space as an essay. In short, I have none. I suppose I’d like to go the Air Force Academy or become a Google executive, but I only want that because it's what I know and cool office spaces, respectively. I don’t really know or honestly care at this point. My life at this point in time is nothing but a spiralling repetition of the same day. It sounds quite depressing, but I like my cozy little world I’ve created.
My interests are part of a list that seems endless. Besides the aforementioned list of interests, I have at least another essay worth. I enjoy fencing, drawing terrible pictures, and writing about the adventures of Lucy the demon, one of my pet projects. Replacing large words with similar ones, also known as a malapropism, is my forte. I also adore collecting pins, though two pins create quite a feeble collection. One of my favourite things to do is to talk about interesting and important topics with intellectual people, but my friends will have to do. In case you couldn’t tell, I also take delight in dissing my friends.
In conclusion, imaginatively mispronounced as you please, I am basically a walking, talking shell filled with pop culture, video games, and lots of Jughead crowns. I don’t like talking about myself that much, so pumping out four paragraphs about myself is quite an achievement. Hopefully, this will qualify as a sufficient length for an essay about myself, because writing about my interests and life goals makes me feel like a narcissist.