Personal Narrative: Gymnastics

On March 23, 2016, I thought my life was over. It had been a long time coming of course, but once the day came, so did the realization of reality. I began to doubt everything I had worked so hard to figure out and the decisions I spent so long forming. Now, no one ever said it would be easy to leave gymnastics after 12 glorious years, but nobody warned me it could be this hard.

Gymnastics had been my heart and soul since I was two years old. I lived, loved, and breathed gym all through preschool, grade school, and well into junior high. However, gymnastics did not come naturally to me. I was never the best in my class and learned very quickly that the Olympics were not in my future. Still, it was all I knew, and became my constant in an

otherwise rollercoaster of a life. I diligently worked my way through the levels, focusing on the relationships I found, memories I made, and pride I felt in doing what I love. None of which could contradict that I was not built for it.
With the constant use and stress of the sport, one can only expect a few injuries over time. I was not so lucky. It would have been better if I landed wrong off beam or set too low on vault; sprains and broken bones heal. The natural anatomy of your skeleton does not. Simply due to the way I was built, gym caused me severe lower back pain. The sort of pain ibruprophen doesn’t fix. In the end I knew I had to make a decision; risk myself for the sport I love or hang up my grips for good.
At this point I am in level seven. Practices are five hours a day, five days a week. Conditioning is brutal. Competition is intense. Skills get bigger and breaks get shorter. My team is my family. The gym is my home. Gymnastics is my life. Am I prepared to leave that behind?
The answer is no. I wasn’t then and to this day I am not. The fact of the matter is that I did. Over the course of around three months I watched myself. I took time to see how I acted and responded to practice. What hurt the most? When was the pain too much to keep going? How often did this come up? These reflections revealed the negative sides of gym greatly outweighing the positive. Thus, my decision was made.
Putting my physical and mental well being at risk was not worth holding on to an emotional attachment, no matter how strong the bonds may be. Looking back now, I am beyond thankful for all the wonderful experiences I had and how they have prepared me for other things to come in life. Now and again I can’t help but wonder what could’ve gone differently or if I made the right decision. All I know now is to learn from the past and keep moving forward.