Personal Narrative Being a Boy in America
Being a male in America, the center of Western culture, is not by any means easy.
We're plagued by stereotypes and we fight among ourselves. We grow up programmed to act a
certain way, talk a certain way, and to do certain things. Unfortunately, this mental
conditioning is not productive, nor is it healthy. And one of the major contributors to this
problem is our 'scientific' system of education. As C. S. Lewis stated in one of his books called
The Abolition of Man, the motives of scientific education are questionable because it appears
that "...the 'trousered ape' and the 'urban blockhead' may be precisely the kind of man they
really wish to produce." It this 'trousered ape' that we are seeing now in our schools. But, it is
more than that. Scientific education allows all types of bullying and brutality (physical and
verbal) to go on, simply because it refuses to wield the weapons that will crush them. The
reader may wish to know what these magical weapons are, so I will attempt to explain. The
weapons with to combat this epidemic of abuse are morals. Scientific education teaches it's
pupils that "Truth is relative; everyone has there own truth." and "Right is whatever is right for
you." When you teach people this from the crib, is it then really so difficult to see why there
are wars on crime and drugs?
Additionally, the male mind is conditioned to think that a man cannot feel emotion, that
men should not be thoughtful or caring, and that a man cannot express a feeling of agape love
for another man, because if he does he is by default homosexual. Western culture promotes
the idea that a man must lust after women, and any man who doesn't must be gay. What ever
happened to the apostle Paul who said that, "...It is good to remain as I [unmarried], but if they
cannot contain themselves, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn." (1Corithians
7:8,9) And again, the Western man is expected to revel in all things that are violent, brutally
physical, and competitive, and yet he is to shun all things that require a gentler spirit, such as
drama, art, poetry, and literature.
Another plague to the male in America is the sever homophobia that runs deep in our
society. Anything that a boy might do that doesn't fit into the strict and rigid 'boy-code' leaves
The rules on sexuality have been upheld by the American culture for decades. For example, if a man was to have sexual feelings towards another man he was considered to be suffering from mental problems and deserves to be placed in a psychiatric hospital. Other than viewing these individuals as mental patients, they were also considered sinners. The Bible states, " If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them" (Leviticus 20:13 KJV). These words are against homosexuality, and gave consequences of what would happen if one should disobey them. It is this scripture that gave people the idea that any form of sexuality other than heterosexuality was a sin and that those who engage in the lifestyle are unnatural. Foucault believed that homosexuality was nothing but natural, he explains, "Nothing that went into his total composition was unaffected by his sexuality......It was consubstantial with him, less as a habitual sin than a singular nature" (Foucault
It is difficult for men to identify themselves as homosexuals because homosexual desires are forbidden by the
Wengert, Timothy J. "The Book of Concord and Human Sexuality, Seen Through the Institution Of Marriage." Dialog: A Journal of Theology 48.1 (2009): 9-18. Academic Search Premier. Web. 5 May 2014.
His work also sheds light on why different gender roles are hard for people to accept, due to the way they were brought up, and the culture they are surrounded by (Devor 8). With the belief that gender role behaviors are concrete, teenage boys believe that they must act according to their gender.
In “Dude, You’re a Fag,” multiple boys that were interviewed said they “didn’t like gay people” and were disgusted by gay men but lesbians were “good” (Pascoe). These boys only viewed female homosexuality as “good” because of its place in the heterosexual male fantasy and not because they approved of homosexuality as a legitimate and accepted sexuality (Pascoe). The binary gender system creates a male dominated society that allows for only female homosexuality to exist because even through it goes against the strict normative heterosexuality it can still be a source of pleasure for men. Male homosexuality, however, is not accepted because in a male dominated world it is associated with not being masculine. Through the use of the slur “fag,” people demean and emasculate boys and men (Pascoe). The use of “fag” against someone does not imply that they are homosexual; instead, Pascoe’s study and interview of high school age boys shows that it is used to say that a person is not masculine and therefore not conforming to their gender roles. Even though women can be sexually fluid and have intimate relationships with other women, it is not viewed as legitimate sex because there is no penis involved. Women are allowed by society to have sex with whomever they want, as long as they are still able to perform their gender role as wives and birth givers. In contrast, in
In order to succeed one needs truth. Everyone is capable of making decisions, however, truth is a key accessory to making such decisions better. One must be aware that what one believes, imagines, and desires to be true, are all different (Blackburn, 2009). Defining truth is difficult for some claim truth is concrete and can be proved in a structural manner. Others simply avoid the definition saying it is too abstract to be narrowed down into a single statement the world can agree on. For example, students have different ways of learning, thus to each student, a particular learning style is the best way to learn, and that is the student’s truth. Many have tried to tackle the definition of truth and from it came about the Correspondence Theory,
Social discrimination against gay men and other MSM has been well-documented in many regions of the world, regardless of the cultural, social, political, economic, or legal environment in which they live.14-16 This discrimination can manifest itself in a wide variety of ways from personal hardships such as harassment, ridicule, rejection, or violence to high-level structural factors like discriminatory policies or violations of human rights. Social discrimination has been described as a key factor leading to poor health outcomes in MSM, including increased risk for HIV, across diverse settings.17
Therefore, the constrictive American ideals of male and female gender identities inhibits growth and acceptance of gender expression. Each gender is separated by rules and guidelines that they must abide by. This, in turn, creates inner tensions that inhibit personal growth. For males, this may be, or is, an extraordinarily arduous task. More often than not, it is other male figures, such as the father, that administer and enforce these certain rules.
12). What is ok for one to do is not acceptable for another to do although they are equal. This standard is upheld by media on almost every outlet. This can range from women showing off their sexuality to the men being praised for sleeping around or having lots of women around him in one setting. An outside source goes on to state “Under the rubric of the sexual double standard, highly sexually active men are praised or rewarded with high status, whereas highly sexually active women are derogated or suffer a damaged reputation” (Marks, 2008, Pg. 84). In the society we live in a man can have a many sexual partners as he pleases and studies actually show that men do report having more sexual partners than women (Chapter 12). Not only is it glorified and encouraged but there are some countries that practice polygyny which is when a man has more than one wife making it acceptable in various cultures. There are instances where a woman has multiple husbands as well and this is referred to polyandry. A woman’s sexuality is always glorified and placed on a peddle stool in some cases. Men love to admire the female body like to cat call when they see something they like. However, if and when a woman acts in the sexual manner that men glorify them to be in, then the woman is looked at
Therefore, they can become demanding, resentful, judgmental, and intolerant of each other (13). However, when men and women learn to respect each other’s differences, they can live in tranquility (Tannen, Talking 40). Men and women react and behave differently when expressing difficult feelings, dealing with stress, and evaluating their self-worth.
Abstract: The purpose of this study is to take the study of Geert Hofstede’s Masculinity index of countries and apply them to the individual states of the United States. This will apply the different cultural dimensions that Hofstede used to rank the countries. While not every criteria can be applied, similar ones will be used to create a Masculinity index for the United States.
“In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love.”
People all act a certain way because of cultures and traditions. They grew up learning to belie a certain thing is right or wrong and they in turn pass that down to their children and so forth. These things all play a hue rule in shaping our society into what it has become today, some things for the better and some for the worst. The bottom line is that humans end up with who they are most similar to because that is where they feel they can be
October 20, 2007, the day that I’m going to say goodbye to my hometown. I was born and raised in Philippines by my grandparents for sixteen years. It is heart-breaking to think that I will not see them anymore like how I used to. I was 16 years old, and it will be my first time to travel with my big brother in the airplane. Our trip from Philippines to Virginia is approximately about 18-20 hours. It is not a direct flight, so we have to change plane three times, and it is a long trip for us. I was crying the whole time when we were in the airplane. As soon as we reach our last destination which is the Washington D.C., we have no way of communicating with my mom and auntie because we have no cellphones. I was hesitant to
This paperdiscusses homosexuality as a form of deviant behavior in Nigeria. In so doing, the paper will examine the nature of homosexuality, its causes and even consequences of this particular behavior to those who engage in it as well as to the larger Nigerian society. The paper also seeks to outlineany previous attempts that have been employed to address homosexuality, including their success and failures. Lastly, the paper also looks intohow widespread homosexuality is in Nigeriaand gives suggestions as to how the behavior can be addressed more effectively.