Personal Essay: Personal Identity

Who am I? Wrestling with identity— our history, our culture, our language— is central to being human, and there’s no better way to come to grips with questions of identity than through the crossing of borders. The transcendence of borders reveals the fluid nature of identity, it challenges absurd notions of rigid nationalities, and highlights our common humanity. It is no coincidence, then, that my experience as an immigrant has shaped my academic journey and pushed me to pursue graduate studies.
I was born in Culiacán, Sinaloa, Mexico, to the unlikely couple of a German american mother and a Mexican father. At the time that my parents decided to leave Mexico, my native state of Sinaloa was in the midst of a growing trend of proliferate narco

traffickers and violence. All of a sudden our neighbors were amassing quick wealth and perpetuating unspeakable violence throughout Mexico. At the same time, the Mexican economy was bleak, and my parents wondered how they would raise their 10 children in a place with ever dwindling opportunities of earning a living through honest hard work.
These conditions led my parents to transport me and my nine brothers and sisters to Portland, Oregon where we began a new life. As a teenager, I plunged into American society with a mixed sense of joy for the present and nostalgia for my past. All of a sudden I had new opportunities available to me, like playing sports and daring to dream of whatever career I wanted. But I felt a profound sense of loss for my Mexican past, which would mark me into my adult life. Nevertheless, what linked me to the rest of the teens in my northeast Portland high school was our commonality as immigrants. The great proportion of my peers were other immigrants and refugees from Southeast Asia, from the former Yugoslavia, and from Russia and the Ukraine. I felt comforted by our shared experience as originating from disparate parts of the world.
When I entered the University of Portland for my undergraduate studies, once again, my identity was challenged in the highly homogenous community of mostly White, Christian and non-recent-immigrant Americans. At first, I felt like an outsider, and I was suddenly overwhelmingly aware of the difference that separated us. But my positive attitude and my persistence in engaging my peers in genuine conversations won the favor of my peers, and I developed tremendous, life-long friendships. I found my niche in the University’s International Club where I became Club Secretary and Volunteer Coordinator. While at UofP, my continued desire to learn more about my identity and to expand my imagination led me to enroll in both Spanish literature classes as well as to major in the German language where I was able to connect to my mother’s heritage. I studied abroad in Salzburg, Austria for one academic year, and in Morelia, Mexico for one Summer, and both experiences furthered my understanding of our fluid identities.
This transnationalist mindset culminated in a research project which I carried out in Germany through the sponsorship of the Fulbright Fellowship which I earned in 2008.

I was part of the Center On Migration, Citizenship and Development (COMCAD) program, where students carried out independent research projects related to transnational trends around the globe. I investigated the integration process of Turkish immigrants through the German school system. While in Germany, I felt myself listening to my Latin American pulse, and I became connected with the Inter-American Studies department at Bielefeld University. I attended symposiums and lectures on issues pertaining to the Americas, to include not just Latin America, but transnationalist trends across the U.S. and Canada as well.
When I returned to Portland, I fell right into the work force, and through my practice in the field of Social Work I engaged with the outermost edges of our society. People of all backgrounds— refugees, single parents, drug addicts, prison inmates—all committed to finding a sense of belonging and dignity in the world. Finding ways to empower my fellow human beings required creativity, solidarity and knowledge about each individual’s sense of identity and

purpose.
My unique background as an immigrant makes me an excellent candidate to succeed as a student at UofO. I'm enthused about the possibility of exploring my history through the Spanish literary canon, and I’m prepared for the academic responsibilites of a PhD program. Continuing my studies at UofO would place me on yet another journey, giving me the opportunity to wrestle with what “identity” has meant for Spanish- speaking cultures through-out literary history, as well as the skills to communicate my findings within and beyond academia.