On Being A Cripple, By Nancy Mair

In my opinion, personal identity is the concept you develop about yourself over the whole course of your life. This can be made up of things, events, and circumstances that you have faced that is beyond your control. However, it is shaped by the conscious decisions that you have made, as well. Both the uncontrollable and uncontrollable things may affect your life depending on the stage of life that you are in. Growing up, your external situations may have more control over your identity, such as your race/ethnicity. While in adulthood, you control your personal identity by your internal decisions, such as expressing your sexuality or deciding to get married. In their own unique ways, the readings that illustrate these distinctions are On Being

As human beings, we like to make sure never to offend or judge anyone. We even have sayings like “never judge a book by its cover”. A metaphor that is often said whenever trying not to judge someone based on their outward appearance; however, it is not often that people practice what they preach. We judge people based on external factors within seconds. Even though we know what people see on the outside is not a defining factor or who we are as people. Nancy Mairs, author of On Being a Cripple, has to live through this every day. She knows this truth very well, and lives proudly with the fact that as she is disabled. Mairs is admirable for choosing to call herself a “cripple” and not be ashamed of it. Though the word is derogatory and a word that is avoided by society, Mairs identifies herself as a cripple because that is what she is. In explaining her disability, she says, “I haven’t always been crippled, ... to be whole of limb is ... infinitely more pleasant and useful. and if that knowledge leaves me open to bitterness … the physical soundness I once enjoyed is well worth the occasional stab of regret” (Mairs 186). What really

She says, “My perception as a young girl was that I fell short at both ends, shuttling between two dimensions ... I followed the customs of my parents, speaking Bengali and eating rice and dal with my fingers. These ordinary facts seemed part of a secret, utterly alien way of life, and I took the pains to hide them from my American friends” (Lahiri 182). Lahiri could not change the fact her skin was brown. This was beyond her control, but has shaped her identity in adulthood. Regardless, the decision to assimilate in childhood made all the difference. The annoying and most real part about assimilation, is that no matter how hard you try, your name and skin color give off so many things that people love to stereotype you before you even open your mouth. I laugh at how many people have told me "your voice doesn't match your face". I really feel with Lahiri when she says, " The immigrant's journey …secures for the subsequent generation a sense of arrival and advantage" (Lahiri