1. What challenges would you face as an emerging clinician working with couples who have a new monogamy perspective regarding infidelity? The challenges I would face when working with a couple who have a new monogamy perspective include: dealing with my own bias; helping them make the best choices for their beliefs and situation; and helping them restore security and trust in their relationship. For example, if one partner is dishonest about their infidelity. I would have difficulty repairing the trust between partners, if one continues to lie and be untruthful. Such as the example of Bob and Tanya, Bob refused to admit his infidelity for weeks. As the author states, “Bob’s betrayal was so deep, so obtuse, so unyielding, that Tanya felt (probably
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington Jr., E. L. (2014). Couple therapy: A new hope-focused approach. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press. ISBN:
The faithful spouse must be tough and stand up to the unfaithful spouse if the marriage will be saved and adultery prevented from happening. As we discussed already the natural response of the rejected spouse is to beg, plead, or become a doormat, but these approaches will only serve to confuse the unfaithful spouse more. If however pulls back and maintains a confident, independent composure the cool spouse will begin to rethink his decisions of unfaithfulness and wishing to leave. “The third change occurs not in the mind of the cool spouse but in the mind of the vulnerable one. Incredibly, he feels better- somehow more in control of the situation.” The vulnerable person begins to respect themselves instead of relying on their partner to fulfil their needs of being wanted. Taking the independent confident approach is not easy, but with prayer and a Christian counselor the vulnerable spouse can learn how to use tough love to save his or her marriage. Doctor Dobson advocates that the vulnerable spouse should force the crisis to a head in most situations of infidelity and clearly draw the lines of what he will do if his spouse is unfaithful again. The vulnerable spouse must then be willing to care out those ultimatums or the unfaithful spouse will simply continue to walk over the other as a doormat. “Just as toddlers and teenagers will challenge authority of their parents
In this paper I am writing about marriage and infidelity in modern life and the books we have read in class. Marriage is a mutual bond in which a man and a woman decide to be with each other until they die. Infidelity is basically when the man or woman in a relationship cheat on the other person, without them knowing.
addictions and why many people do not understand it at all. The stories from real people
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
Polygamy is defined as “a marriage that includes more than two partners.” There are different types of polygamy, these include: polygyny, where a man has multiple wives, polyandry, in which a woman has multiple husbands, and group marriage, where a family consists of multiple husbands and wives. Of these different types of polygamy, polygyny is definitely the most popular of the three. In America, the practice of any form of polygamy is illegal and due to this law, many adherents of the lifestyle stay hidden ("What is Polygamy?"). Polygamy became an issue in the United States in the year 1852 when the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the LDS Church, made it so that plural marriage became a part of its religious doctrine. However, due to the storm of controversy that followed this movement, in 1890 the Mormon Church officially abandoned the practice. The Mormon’s who disagreed with the movement broke away from the Mormon Church and became known as Fundamentalist Mormons. Although the practice was almost unheard of in regions such as the Midwest, Northeast and South, in the Western portion of the United States, polygyny marriage is still prevalent. Those who are found to be practicing the belief are fined and sometimes are forced to split up with the rest of their families. For this reason many remain in the dark about their lifestyle, considering the severity of the consequences ("History of Fundamentalist Mormons"). However, recently many families have come out of hiding and proclaimed to the world that they are a practicing polygamist family, raising the question: is it right for the government to tell people who they can and cannot marry?
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
Gurman, A. S., & Fraenkel, P. (2002, Summer). The history of couple therapy: A millennial review. Family Process, 41, 199-260. Retrieved from http://proquest.umi.com
Despite these notable numbers, polyamory remains misunderstood and much maligned. Largely due to our unwarranted and yet seemingly unwavering faith in the sanctity of monogamy, polygamists often feel tremendous pressure to hide their private lives, for fear of losing the respect of friends and family. By creating a stigma around having multiple partners, we as a society are committing nothing less than discrimination. Despite all of the arguments that its opponents have hurled against the lifestyle, p...
New York, NY: Guilford Press. Gurman, A., (Ed.). Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy (4th ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
The techniques used in marriage and family counseling can be different. For instance, counselors will sometimes handle family therapy in different ways than they would couples or marital therapy. Both family and marriage c...
... Imagine how difficult it would be to trust one’s spouse again. It would be like starting all over. Many believe that “once a cheat always a cheat”, people who have several affairs have a higher divorce rate (figure 7). One would have to put forth time, and effort to restore something that they did not destroy. All of the years of marriage, all that was shared and considered sacred is gone. How can one be expected to believe that the affair was an isolated incident that never took place earlier on in the marriage? It is with all of these doubts and unanswered questions that it becomes evident that adultery destroys marriages and therefore marriage cannot survive infidelity. Infidelity not only destroys marriages, it also destroys families. Children turn away from their mothers or fathers, and it is at that point that the marriage should be considered null and void. The possibility of a marriage being able to survive infidelity is far fetched. Therefore, the answer to the question: ‘can marriage survive infidelity’ is evident.
In the United States, marriage is a commitment two people make for the rest of their lives. The average American marriage lasts seven years. Well over half of all marriages end in divorce (Francouer, 72). Statistics in the infidelity have rose fifty percent since the 1970s and is rising all the time. The divorce count in this country is now up to one out of every three-marriage end in divorce. Serial polygamy is a common lifestyle for those who are divorced and then become remarried. The relationship between a husband and wife should be sacred and trustworthy. Without the trust and honesty there is no marriage. Monogamy is the loving, sharing, and devoting one's self to another person for the rest of their life. Monogamy should be the most important aspect in a marriage.
The first reason monogamy is a good thing is because it promotes peace. Monogamy will lead to less anger and more people loving one another. When someone has an affair, most times it leads to someone getting angry. By living a monogamous relationship, there is no chance for this type of anger and hatred
Polygamy seems to have always been an issue to people who practice other religions as well as the people within the law system. The term polygamy comes from the religious practice where one man has multiple wives at the same time. Just based off of the definition alone people have issues with those who practice this religion, which is understandable. However, do those people who judge, most of which are Christians, truly know much about the religion and its origins, or do they just automatically judge the fact that a man would marry multiple wives and the wives not seeing an issue with it? People are so quick to judge those who practice something that they do not agree with, which is very wrong. Giving a better understanding of this religious practice will help people form factual opinions that can actually back up their argument or agreement.