My Papas Waltz By Theodore Roethke

Noora Bakhashwain ENWR 1102 03/03/2014 The Hidden “Violent Relationship” The beauty of Theodore Roethke’s poem, “My papa’s waltz” is its ability to manipulate the reader about the reality of a broken relationship. The deception within the story is about a father, his son, and an absent mother. Roethke allows the complexity of the poem to be perceived depending on the reader’s emotions and psyche. The central and most important metaphor in the poem is the description of the beating as a dance; the waltz. The severity of the violence is lessened. The association of dance gives the reader more time to adjust to the harsh truth. Roethke’s father was an immigrant and a drunk, who appears to forcibly have his way with his son while their mother stands aside unable to “unfrown” herself. The poem

is a remarkable memory, very intimate and warm that it’s carefully noted to the last detail; “whiskey on your breath. ” On one extreme, the poem could very easily signify a sense of love and belonging that the father may have for the son (because he does bother to waltz with his son) but the fact that the son “hung on like death” seems to speak otherwise.

It is unclear as to who begins the dance, or suggests it; the child or father. The smell of the alcohol makes the boy dizzy and the speed of the dance pushing things around while injuring him makes the scene much more than a ballroom dance. The boy is nervous to speak up or anger his mother, almost afraid to be disapproved. The language of the poetry and the imagery both lend themselves to readings in which there is violence being inflicted upon the “small boy” in the poem. The boy appears innocent and unaware of the abuse he is victim to, he describes it the only way he feels safe, as a mistake or just a game between him and his father. The boy “hangs on like death” despite the unbearable stench coming from his father. The word death is important here, Roethke uses such a strong word to make the reader understand the undisputable love the little boy has for his father. His love for his father is promised to the end, not forgetting the drunkenness and all of his father’s failures (“every step you missed”).

The poem’s title itself speaks to how highly the son viewed his drunken father as, by referring to him as “papa”, not father. The word “papa” describes a strong, personal relationship that is clearly not the case with this particular story. The title is misleading and inappropriate. It broadens the entire relationship with his father, a dance between love and fear. This would be true in any abusive case; psychologically the child is vulnerable and has no one else, the child looks up to his parent and would never believe that his father’s only interests are to hurt than love his only son. The boy is confused but is consistently clinging to his father’s shirt, not wanting to let go and end the misery as it were.

The story behind the poem has a dark and dreary persona to it that is expressed by the emotions, and actions that take place while the father waltz’s with his son. “My right ear scraped a buckle”, clearly the boy is beaten down with a belt but has no way of expressing pain as the drunken father continues to “dance” with him. Their movements are having definite effects in the background; “we romped until the pans, slid from the kitchen shelf”. The boy has little or no evidence for him to prove that his father’s intentions are clearly for the wrong reasons; he notices his mother’s disapproval but is oblivious to the pain simply because he truly does treasure his time with his father. He admired his father, and felt that the least he could do was deal with the pain. He was but a child, his father was in control and had all he power. Parents decide when their child should eat, sleep and go out, this was exactly what the boy yearned for but didn’t receive it the way he should have.

The mother’s stance contributes much towards the violence, as in all abuse cases the other parent is almost always helpless and/ or ignorant towards what is happening. The relationship among the two parents is exactly what is understood among such family situations. She is guilty for not preventing her husband from beating her son; she sees but does not interfere. She obviously does not condone it; “countenance”, her disapproval of her husband’s behavior with his son is yet another indication of the level of violence that is buried under this poem. The word “beat”, when used to explain any relationship, be it an adult or child simply speaks of nothing else but abuse, especially when the father seeks aid from any tool in his surroundings to beat the child. The boy while in denial, unconsciously describes the “waltz” as requiring him to hang on “like death” which is hardly anything positive that a small boy would ever use in his descriptions. “Death” brings to light a very frightening aura; the atmosphere the child was exposed to have fatal consequences and the father being drunk was an added fact that proved the fatal attraction.

The opening line with the smell of “whiskey” that made the boy “dizzy” led to one obvious conclusion; the father like any other drunken beat his son for reasons that are far beyond our explanation. The father is a hard worker who after a long day’s work would come home to his son and wife and have his daily dose of alcohol after which, he takes away all his repressed anger and tension of the day. He doesn’t take the time to clean up; “a palm caked hard by dirt”, and “beat time on my head”, the boy feels a sense of danger but chooses to sugar-coat it by defining his evening to do with “waltzing” than having to envision it being called something more violent. Another premise to speak of is the father’s “wrist”, “battered on one knuckle”, shows how extreme and enraged his reactions may get. The little boy misunderstands but expresses true emotion when he naively remembers his relationship with his father. The rough hands and battered knuckle also expresses a lead role the father played, he was leading the dance. Given the time frame when this poem was written it was also important for the man of the house to be masculine and take care of those under his roof. While the father is given a masculine role, the son is viewed under a feminine light because he is following the lead of his father.

Alcoholism is perceived as an intolerable threat which is abused way more times than necessary.

Links between child-abuse and alcoholism are documented and studied upon, while back when the poem was written in 1948 the terms were unheard of and never seen as true. Child abuse was far from public knowledge and not many children were aware of the possibility that their parents could in fact abuse their right as the parent to care for the child rather than beat and/ or molest the child. Although the memory of waltzing with the father seems to be in positive light, it has a vague and frightening light to it.

Children in general, are most often easy to convince that something so frightening can actually be thrilling. The power of the child’s father is overpowering; “the hand that held my wrist”, “clinging to your shirt” portraying that the fathers strength cannot be resisted and is forced on the child because he is held by his wrist and not by the child’s hands (which would seem that he did so willingly). The child does not wish to resist and unfortunately seeks his father’s affection to go “to bed”, which could unfortunately mean that his father would beat until he was

unconscious.

The child’s reality, no matter how brutal or cruel it may be is seen as the right kind of reality and the one that is necessary. The poem is narrated from an adult point-of-view but does not share the anger or frustration another adult might feel when reading about these circumstances. On the contrary the father is presented with love and the story as a whole with sadness. That is what this story truly concludes as; a love that was never lost; “still clinging to your shirt”. The waltzing between the father and son could be seen as the unfortunate end to the father’s life. The son does eventually lose his father, probably because he was alcoholic that never did ask for help. The circumstance he was at when this poem was written was obviously not one a child could have said or done anything except “hold on” and never let go. The unusual relationship the son and father had speaks to all relationships that go beyond the limits of what it is supposed to be like, love has no boundaries.