Luke Kenworthy's Common Application Essay: Pivotal Moments In My Life

With Time

I sat there, holding my dog, barely able to breathe, bursting in tears and trying to understand what was happening…

Every single person experiences moments that pivot the way they interpret every day occurrences in life. Whether these experiences are triumphant or devastating, our perspectives and the way we morally grow are influenced as these pivotal moments avail their importance over time. I never truly thought about pivotal moments in my life until my ninth grade literacy class’ first unit. Some of the most impacting moments in my life occurred only in the past couple years, and when I’m suppose to write about how they have affected my perspective and what my moral growth is from them, what if I don’t know yet? What if someone

hasn’t grown from these pivotal moments yet due to their huge significance on that person’s life? After thorough research, I’ve come to the conclusion, that many other individuals have also suffered from this blockage in their existences from their own pivotal moments. These moments can range from the absence of a parent, to an embarrassing Christmas Eve Dinner. Just like I have from some old ‘friends’, to my sister’s death wish. For most people, including me, it took years to develop our moral growths and learn from these events.
For Instance, Luke Kenworthy, wrote about how he didn’t grow until years from one of his biggest pivotal moments, the absence of his mom.

In, “Luke Kenworthy’s Common Application Essay,” Kenworthy informs his readers about his alcoholic mother, who was always not a suitable role model, and how his mother’s absence had affected his life. Kenworthy talks about how the absence of a mother, made him extremely shy and timid for a couple of years, “I had always been shy as a kid and the absence of my mom exacerbated this problem as I tried unhealthily suppress my insecurities and fill her absence with others’ approval” (2). He furthermore describes his shift of perspective that occurred over years, from originally being afraid that he would become his mother, “I have no way of knowing if my life would be any different from hers”(3), to no longer worrying about others’ opinions of him, “I began to understand[...] I cannot walk in my mom’s shoes, and thus, no one else can truly walk in mine. The way others perceive me is inherently inaccurate, so I do not need to concern myself with what others think”(4). Finally, Kenworthy talks about how he gain moral growth of learning to express himself from this experience after seven years, “I am thankful for the lessons I learned from my mother; the pain I felt was a necessary step in the process of becoming the person I am today, someone who is unafraid to express himself”(6). Even though, his alcoholic mother did not help him positively,

Luke Kenworthy eventually overcame the absence of his mom and realized that he doesn’t need to be insecure about who he is. Just like how Amy Tan did with her pivotal experience.
Amy Tan, a Chinese-American, wrote in one of her most famous work, “Fish Cheeks,” about a pivotal moment in her life.

When fourteen year old Tan’s minister’s family was invited to her Christmas Eve Dinner, Tan was devastated. She worried that they, including the minister’s son Robert, would be disappointed in her Chinese culture, “I cried. What would Robert think of our shabby Chinese Christmas? What would he think of our noisy Chinese relatives who lacked proper American manners?What terrible disappointment would he feel seeing not a roasted turkey and sweet potatoes but Chinese food?”(2). Tan had already expressed that she, herself, was embarrassed for looking Chinese and wanted to fit in and look ‘American’, “For Christmas I prayed for[...] a slim new American nose”(1). This cause Tan to act rude and silent throughout the night, “Dinner threw me deeper into despair”(5). At the end of the night, Tan’s mother gave her inspiring advice that helped her to accept that she is Chinese, but Tan told her readers that she did not understand and learn her mother’s advice, until years later, “[...] my mother said to me, ‘You want to be the same as American girls[...] But inside you must always be Chinese. You must be proud you are different. Your only shame is to have shame’[...] It wasn’t until many years later[...]that I was able to fully appreciate her lesson”(7-8). For me, it took some terrible friends to help me grow

morally.
Personally, it took me years to fully grow from my biggest pivotal moments, that both occurred ironically, around the same time. For most of my life, I never had any true friends. Maybe just a few in my lifetime, but none of them ever lasted. And in seventh grade, I thought things were going to be different for a change. During that year, there was this really great group of people that I had started to hang out with. We had all these things in common, such as interests, clubs, classes, hobbies, etc. Towards the end of seventh grade, I did realize that this one boy in my friend group didn’t like me, but I just assumed it was because we weren’t close yet because I was only hanging out with them for about two-thirds of that year, when most of them had known each other before middle school. Yet, I never really questioned this with a girl in the group, that just moved to Loveland at the beginning of seventh grade, who practically became a ‘member’ from the start. Anyways, I started to notice how everyone would text each other, how they all had a friend group chat that I was not invited to, how they would hang out after school and how they would have sleepovers. When I, would only have a few text messages that were only about school activities/projects, and how I was never invited to do events at the end of each day. After this awakening, I became very depressed, thinking as if it was my fault that I was being treated different than how they would with each other. In eighth grade, a lot more had occurred. One of the boys, who actually treated me like everyone else, changed schools, so he and I no longer talked to each other. Then, one of the girls started to bully me. Every time I would talk in general, she would roll her eyes. When we would suggest about doing something, she would ignore my existence. With the rest of the group, it became very conflicting. Some of them liked me, some didn’t; I’d get invited to hangout after school, other times they wouldn’t even ask. I finally realized that I was getting bullied in my own friendship, one of the places I am suppose to be welcomed. This new perspective of mine encouraged me that I didn’t need them, and that most of the people in that group were a waste of my energy, happiness, and time. Now, I no longer hang out with anyone with that group. Yes, I am disappointed that a few people of the group that did treat me as a fellow person, whom I felt were actual friends, aren’t close anymore. As well as how I was so frustrated how I never stood up for myself, but I was afraid of not having any of them as friends, and that I would have no place to be at lunch. Now I have grown to learn that true friends do not isolate, or act rude to me, nor not treat me not as a fellow being.
The most poignant pivotal moment in my life, is a blur of sadness, anger and shock. All I truly remember was me being pulled out of school around forty-five minutes before school ended, near the beginning of May. My mom picked me up, and told me that my sister was at an institute, for she was suicidal, and was cutting herself. We quickly went home, packed a couple days worth of clothes, grabbed my computer and drove all the way down around Colorado Springs to stay with my Uncle and Aunt. We went to the hospital that night, and as my parents went inside to talk with the people. As I was waiting in the car, I sat there, holding my dog, barely able to breathe, bursting in tears and trying to understand what was happening. I began to question everything. What signs were there? What could I have done? Will things get better? Will she get pass this? What if she doesn’t? What if she did end her life? Is any of it my fault? After being at my Uncle’s and Aunt’s for almost four days, she finally was allowed to leave the hospital. After several months, she did get better, and eventually so did I. I finally had a new perspective, for as long as I believed in her will to be strong, and as long as she believed in me believing in her, we were able to make it through this moment in our lives, and help each other. I didn’t really realized that I grew from this until the end of eighth grade, about a year later. A friend of mine was having a huge problem one night. For one of her best friends, who had been cutting herself, wasn’t answering any of her texts(Just to clarify, she wasn’t replying because she did get help at the school and was with an adult at the time). She told me that she had known about it, and she started to blame herself. I hugged her and told her that it is not her fault for being put in a situation like that, and she must never think that it is her fault, and that her friend is just struggling right now and that both of you need to support each other. After that night, I knew that I have grown from that experience, and my perspective of life has changed. And I am so thankful that my sister decided to get help, for I would not know what my life would be without her. For that pivotal moment in my life, will affect me for my entire life.
Pivotal moments are significant experiences that occur in our everyday lives, that truly shape who we are and who we become. Whether or not how these events have affected you, positively or negatively, these events affect our perspectives on life, our moral growth and these events will avail themselves of importance over time. As the definition of pivotal moments states above, these moments can take a long period of time to overcome, just like how I have with my old friendship and my sister over the past couple years, how Luke Kenworthy has with his mother’s absence over approximately seven years, how Amy Tan has with accepting who she is over her life, and how so many other people have as well. No matter what it is you are going through, as long as you and/or the people around you believe you can, then with time you will grow and move past it.