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The importance of listening skills
Effective listening strategies
Importance of effective listening skills
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Successful Listening
Listening Strategies
In order to effectively listen, the coach must be able to devote their full attention to the client. To do this, the coach should go through the process of emptying their minds before each session (Dunbar, 2010). By ridding their minds of all their personal thoughts, they open more room to listen to the client and fully comprehend everything being expressed. Moreover, a creative way of emptying the mind is by visualizing the thoughts leaving and going somewhere to be stored until the session or working day is over (Dunbar, 2010). By visualizing the thoughts leaving, it helps the coach actually empty their thoughts and be able to pay complete attention to the client, promoting effective listening in the session (Dunbar, 2010). Ultimately, pay attention to the client will help the client-coaching relationship build, boost the client’s ability to share their feelings, and promote a more productive and beneficial session experience.
Listening is not just about body language or verbal messages it is about the client’s spiritual communication. Coaches should be sensitive to client’s spiritual needs as well, remembering to always consider how this information affects their spiritual health (Nelson-Jones, 2006). The coach may encounter individuals of different religious beliefs ranging across the spectrum; the importance of being sensitive spiritually is being able to listen to things that may otherwise be missed when focusing on the verbal and physical cues of a client. For Christian clients, using responses pertaining to the will of God and how it effects their future decisions and goals is a great way to begin the spiritual listening process (Nelson-Jones, 2006). For a coach to be able to effectively listen to the spiritual needs of a client, they must first be in tune with themselves spiritually (Nelson-Jones, 2006). Moreover, ways of becoming spiritually in tune consist of meditation before sessions, praying, reading the bible, and focusing on having a positive atmosphere (Nelson-Jones, 2006).
After the coach has applied many of the techniques explained, they should be able to build rapport with their clients. Rapport is a close relationship between the clients and coaches were they interact harmoniously and are able to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings (Arloski, 2009). Having good rapport with the client helps strengthen the client-coach relationship and in turn creates a better foundation for progress (Arloski, 2009). To build this rapport a coach has to be effective at listening actively, intrinsically, and spiritually (Arloski, 2009).
These techniques include showing concern for clients through active listening and empathy, showing respect for and confidence in clients, focusing on client’s strong points and positive traits, resources, replacing discouraging thoughts with encouraging ones, and helping clients to develop a sense of humor about life. (Watts & Pietrzak,2000,p 443) Another method, as mentioned earlier is building a strong rapport with the client. Therapists use a variety of techniques to facilitate change in the client’s behavior. Therapists help clients to choose alternative behaviors to the behaviors that are maladaptive. The next method is getting the client to change how he or she views a situation. This is done inside and outside of counseling. Through this technique a client comes to realize their abilities and strengths. Last but not least, therapists help clients draw on their resources and strengths when faced with a situation that seems troublesome. (Watts & Pietrzak,2000,p
This method is grounded in the strengths perspective, a perspective in which the worker center’s their sessions around the clients’ abilities, gifts, and strengths (Shulman, 2016). Instead of focusing on what is wrong with the client, the worker highlights what is right with the client building on their strengths instead of emphasizing their deficits: the client already has what they need to get better or solve their problem (Corcoran, 2008). The role of the worker in this model is to help the client recognize their potential, recognize what resources they already have, and discuss what is going well for the client and what they have been able to accomplish already (Shulman, 2016). Techniques commonly used in this model, although they are not exclusive to this model, include an emphasis on pre- and between-session change, exception questions, the miracle question, scaling questions, and coping questions (Shulman, 2016). These questions are used for many reasons: for example, the miracle question is used because “sometimes asking clients to envision a brighter future may help them be clearer on what they want or to see a path to problem-solving.” (Corcoran, 2008, p. 434) while coping questions are used to allow the client to see what they are already accomplishing, rather than what they are transgressing (Corcoran, 2008). All
... By having them journal their prayers to God daily and encouraging them to read these entries frequently to refresh the memories of those prayers and seek for those that are answered allows for each client to find their way to a spiritual understanding that is not necessarily demonstrated by my impact, but that of God Himself. I am available to answer questions that pertain to the bible, but allow clients to interpret the teaching to their lives and recovery. These approaches allow clients to not rely on my experiences, but on their own encounters and knowledge. Gently guiding them to hear and see how God works in a client’s life is a rewarding and satisfying experience.
Petersen, J.C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & Connecting in Relationships. Tigard, OR: Petersen Publications
The author shows how coaching differs from counseling. To start with, Collins supposes that counseling focuses on negative psychology that includes dealing with conflicts, spiritual struggles, and emotional matters like depression, while coaching focuses on improving team-building and performance, career growth and finding fulfillment (2009). According Collins, counseling fixes what is wrong, while coaching enables individuals to reach their goals. Coaching is centered on the present and future likelihood, getting unstuck and attaining the set goals, while counseling is centered on causes of the problems that are as a result of the past, and attaining healing and stability.
Counseling skills has provided me with a valuable insight into the helping relationship and how it is both created and maintained in order to encourage growth and development in the client. The factors involved within the helping relationship include considering Roger’s core conditions, congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathy as the three main characteristics necessary in a helping relationship. In order to fully incorporate all three of Roger’s core conditions, I as the counselor must be self-aware, as a lack of self-awareness may inhibit truly listening and understanding the client; self-awareness can be enhanced through exercises such as Johari’s window. Counseling skills such as body language and active listening also plays a role within encouraging the client to open up and can help me as the counselor convey empathy.
There are very many key ideas that were discussed during this interview. The main ideas that were of most interest to me included counseling individuals from various religious and spiritual backgrounds, maintaining one’s safety and the importance of counselors practicing
A vital aspect of interpersonal communication is the style in which one listens. While every individual possesses their own preferred method of listening in communication, it can be enlightening to analyze our own strengths and weaknesses so as to maximize effectual communication. Within the confines of four main listening style categories, I have chosen those which best describe my own personal listening style.
On the down side there are a limited number of educational programs that adequately deal with the issue of incorporating religion and spirituality in therapeutic/counseling settings. This can be attributed to the fact that counseling is based in psychology, a scientific field, which has traditionally neglected issues of a spiritual nature (Nelson, Kirk, Ane, & Serres, 2011) as well as the practice used within the United States to separate education and religion (Cashwell and Young, 2011). This then results in a significant portion of therapist and counselors who are not prepared to address the issue of spirituality and religion with their clients. One would think that with the value many Americans place on the topic of religion and spirituality that there would come a time when a client would want to address this topic during his or her session.
She was able to establish trust and intimacy with the client by exhibiting an authentic concern for her well-being and development. A significant strength of the coach in this session was the ability to ask powerful questions that were probing and open-ended. She was able to fully clarify and provide applicable solutions to refine the Personal Mastery skill that the client wanted to further develop. This highlighted the coaches ability to manage progress and accountability by focusing the discussion on what was important to and for the client. Additionally, the Coach was able to create an awareness assisting the client to realize she can use modelling and personal mastery in her new role as
Every business consists of a variety of communication activities such as listening, speaking, questioning, gathering and participating in small work groups. The listening skill is one of the most important aspects of communication process. It helps to understand and read the other person’s message. Effective listening skills create positive workplace relationships which influence our opinions and responsiveness to one another.
In applying the skills to a case scenario, I found it difficult to focus and use my active listening skills. I do know that in an ideal situation, I will more than likely be one on one with my client and will generally conduct the interview in a quieter atmosphere, allowing me to focus better on what the client discloses. However, with continuous practice I believe I will be able to overcome becoming distracted by background noises.
The counseling session began with the introductions where I introduced myself as the counselor and later introduced my client. This stage is important in any counseling session since it is the time of exploration and focusing according to Gerard Egan as quoted by Wright (1998) in his essay on couselling skills. It is in this session that I was able to establish rapport and trust with my client in order to come up with a working and fruitful relationship with him. During this stage I made use of skills like questioning, where I would pose a question directly to my client, sometimes I would choose to just listen to what the client wanted to speak out while in some instances I would be forced to paraphrase the question if I felt the client did not understand the question I had asked previously. There were also other times when I would reflect through silence. During such a period, I got time to study the client and the information he had given. This being a difficult area, since some clients may not be able to volunteer information to you as the counselor, I decided to assure the client of confidentiality of any information he was willing to share with me with a few exceptions which I also told him about. Being open to him about the only times the information may not be confidential was part of my building rapport and establishing trust with him. I therefore, decided to ask the client what information he wanted to share with me and lucky enough he was ready to speak to me about different issues that he was going through.
Over the past few days, I have been able to reflect on my listening skills; both strengths and weaknesses. Although I do have some strong points as a listener, there are several areas I need to improve on. Upon reflection, I was also able to create a number of goals I have for working on these skills over the semester and continuing these after the conclusion of the class.
A skill, according the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, is a learned power of doing something competently: a developed aptitude or ability. The skill of listening is a skill that I believe everyone should have but most people lack. Many people do not realize that listening is not merely the act of hearing a sound but of paying close attention to what someone is saying and trying to understand the message that they are trying to relate to you. Most times people say they are listening when in all actuality they are merely hearing you but not even attempting to understand what is being spoken of. The advantages of being a good listener are vast. This skill can positively affect many parts of our everyday life and interaction with people. Nevertheless, it is a skilled that is overlooked in today’s unmindful society. The reason I believe that listening is of such importance is because nowadays people have developed the mentality of “every man for himself.” People are not concerned about their fellows anymore. We are only concerned about our own issues and problems. Listening is a skill that is acquired throughout a lifetime. It is an important virtue when it comes to communication.People should be taught from childhood the importance of learning how to listen. If we realized how much we would benefit from being good listeners, I believe that things would change. Lack of listening skills affects marriages, parents and children, teachers and students, employers and employees, foreign affairs, and the list goes on.