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The way my friends and colleagues, and generally speaking, members of society are raised can impact them psychologically. Whether it is being put on a pedestal or being the victim of ignorance, experiences shape the attitude of humans. In “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy,” Lori Gottlieb talks about her patients with great childhoods instead of talking about the patients who had bad childhoods. As she listens to her patients, she realizes that the parents did too much for their children, and consequently set them up for failure. Due to overprotection and not much discipline, these children have concerns, unhappiness, and feelings of being lost. When she thinks of all the experiences her patients have had with their parents, she relates it to her experience of …show more content…
being a new mother. I relate to Gottlieb’s article, since I am like her patients with overprotective parents, and having protective parents has already started to affect my life So-called perfect parenting that leads to imperfection in children suggests a lapse in reasoning in how children are dealt with.
Some parents put their children up on a pedestal, and treat them as if they are the most prized creatures on the Earth. Parents think that they raise their children right, but Gottlieb makes a valid point when she states, “As a parent, I wanted to do things right. But what does ‘right’ mean?” I like how Gottlieb uses the story of the child tripping over a rock. When the kid falls, some parents would come to the rescue, and cuddle the child before they even start to cry. Even though they mean well, I feel like these parents are not even thinking of how a scenario as simple as this can affect their children later in life. This example reflects that even the overprotective and “good” parents end up having children that are lost and unhappy because they did not show any discipline and organization. Dan Kindlon, a children’s psychologist that Gottlieb mentioned, explained, “There’s a difference between being loved and being constantly monitored.” This made me think of a friend whom goes to West Georgia who I will call Ella. She grew up with the constant surveillance of her
mother. Since her mother had her at the age of 19, her mother did not want Ella to end up like herself. Her mother practically shielded her from outside influence. Although Ella is intelligent, she had little common sense when it comes to dealing with certain situations on her own. Ever since she was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy in the eighth grade, her mom had the need to protect her more. Even though she has assistance, such as leg braces and a motorized scooter, her mother tried to sabotage her entrance into West Georgia, even going to the extent to cancel her FASFA during the week it was due. Her mother just could not stand her only girl to leave. Since her mother became the helicopter mom, Ella cannot stand her mother, and even goes to the extent of calling her mom “bat-shit crazy.” Due to the lack of overall discipline and organization in her life, it has been hard for her to make the transition from home life to college life. Gottlieb also included Barry Schwartz, a social theory professor, who commented, “it’s unclear where parental happiness ends and our children’s happiness begins.” Schwartz’s statement made me think of my own parents. Both of my parents tried their best to raise my two sisters and I; however, I do not think they noticed the line for their happiness and the line for my sisters’ and I’s happiness. They wanted to teach us independence and creativity; but along the way, they unknowingly sheltered my sisters and I. I felt like my parents should have showed me more discipline, because once I got to college, I felt lost since I was so used to having my family around all the time to support me. Furthermore, I feel confused and alone when certain situations come up, since I have never had to be in the situation before. Schwartz’s comment brought my attention to a comment Jeff Blume, a family psychologist that Gottlieb mentions, said; “We’re confusing our own needs with our kids’ needs and calling it good parenting.” His statement reminded me that my parents put a lot of importance on the three of us as children because of their problems. They should have paid less attention to the three of us, and focus on their problems instead of intertwining the two of them. My parents want the best for my sisters and I, but it is hard to let all three of us go. I can agree with Gottlieb that even children with great childhoods can end up in therapy. This is because not all parents are perfect. More importantly, the lack of discipline and organization in these children’s lives could potentially make them end up in therapy. This can leave many children confused and empty. However, there is a benefit in failing, one just needs to know what it is and learn how to utilize it. Protective parents fail to grasp that being an overprotective parent can affect their children’s lives.
Parental influences can negatively impact a child’s life. An example of this is in the novel
Parents do not want to disappoint their children, so instead of saying “no” they say “of course honey”. These children grow up unaware of the concept that they can and will be denied something in their future. When the time comes they don’t know how to take it because they lived their whole life getting everything they wanted. Children also grow up without the understanding of how to properly process pain and discomfort. Gottlieb interviewed a teacher and she said that if a child fell on the playground, adults had to rush over to aid the child before he or she had enough time to process what happened. The teacher did not point this out because she thought that parents should ignore their children, instead they should let their children process what happened and how to deal with it independently. When parents make a huge scene, their children think something serious has happened and panic. Gottlieb believes parents should give their children room to deal with a situation without intervening until it is
In a normal functioning family, both parent and child care for and love one another, and display these feelings. A parent is required to nurture his or her child and assure that the child feels loved by spending time together, and by giving the child sufficient attention. However, there are often times when a parent is unable to fulfill these requirements, which can ultimately have damaging effects on the child. A child who is neglected by his or her parents “perceives the world as a hostile and uncaring place. In addition to this negative perception of the world, the neglect a child faces affects later interaction with his or her peers, prompting the child to become anxious and overly withdrawn” (Goldman). This neglectful type of parenting proves to be a pattern in the novel Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, as the main characters, Jimmy, Crake, and Oryx are crucially affected by their parents’ choices and are unjustly abandoned by them. In this novel, the neglect of parents, especially mothers, is clearly reflected in the behaviours of the three main characters.
After reading Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, a novel that exposes the short life of Chris McCandless and the clues to the mystery of his untimely death, we as readers can comprehend and fathom the actions and thoughts of Chris McCandless if we are able to perceive and distinguish the characteristics and results of a family that is dysfunctional. More specifically, a dysfunctional family in which there is an authoritarian parent that greatly impacts the life and actions of the other members in the family. This parent may employ a perfectionist attitude on the children which can be debilitating in the long run. The lack of proper parenting can force children to take up nontraditional roles to facilitate proper family functioning. This unnecessary
Research shows that children are more susceptible to commit crimes, develop depression and ___ psychological disorders from the effects of bad parenting. In fact, many people grow up treating others just like how their parents treated them with reference to their parents’ values, behaviours and attitudes. Harper Lee, an American author expressed her childhood experiences in Alabama through writing the novel, To Kill a Mockingbird. This book makes a reference to how society views in the Great Depression (1930s) changed to be noticeably racist impacting the life of a widowed father and lawyer named Atticus and his children Jem and Scout. In To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee conveys that Atticus Finch is a great
This story makes the reader wonder, why must parents do this to their children, what kinds of motifs do they have for essentially ruining their child’s life. I believe
From when a child is born, to adulthood, everything done because of them, to them, or in front of them leaves a “puzzle piece” in their brain. By the time they have reached the age of 16 and up, they most likely have already decided or already have become the kind of person they want to be. What they have witnessed and experienced throughout the years of their upbringing has left enough puzzle pieces for them to piece together the type of person they will be. If the child witnesses abuse, they will remember that. If the child witnesses prejudice and racism, they will remember that. If the child witnesses the complete opposite of that, such as acceptance, fairness, and acts of love; they will remember that. From the ages of ten to fifteen, research shows that “early adolescent brain goes through a growth...
...ts set for them. Children are constantly aware of adults’ choices, and they begin to formulate their own understanding of general values at a young age. When adults are hypocritical of their pre-set standards, it sends children into a state of discombobulation. Staying true to one’s values as an example for children will be beneficial to them as they travel along the highway of childhood and come upon the exit necessary to reach the interstate of adulthood.
The emotional support children receive from their parents in the early years of their lives can make an everlasting impact in how their fears develop and persist over the course of their lives. Take, for instance, a considerably difficult a child who received a nurturing amount of support from his parents in contrast with another little boy who was physically reprimanded for his antsy behavior. The first boy’s parent’s found tactful ways to allow their child to better handle his fears, consequently allowing him to forge a more functional life in the future. In opposition, the other child’s father, who hit him in efforts to stop his anxiety, ironically contributed to the child’s unwanted behavior, causing him to become more disruptive and disturbed in the
In most of my classes I’ve always heard that your parents are the most important people in your life and I truly believe this. People are affected by everything their parents say and do both in childhood and later on in adulthood. If a child is constantly looked down upon and made to believe that nothing they do is good enough, chances are they will grow up believing this and having low confidence. It is remarkable that a child David’s age fought himself from breaking down, dissolving into tears and giving up hope for a better future. David constantly worked towards or rather survived because of a dream, a dream t hat he was a prince and that every...
If you’re treated with love and have support, you’ll become a caring and supportive person. If you’re raised in an abusive and unappreciated environment, you’ll be an abusive and less caring person. The way you have been treated is the way you’ll treat others. The short story “The Half-Husky” by Margaret Laurence demonstrates how the environment in which an individual is raised affects the “person”
Much of the article consists of the dialogue of Alan Kazdin, a child psychologist who presents the no punishment theory written about in the text. Right away, the article introduces him as the “director of the Yale Parenting Center” (Khazan), therefore establishing himself as a trustworthy source considering the prestige of the position and the university he affiliates himself with. In this way, Khazan uses the appeal to ethos first in the article in order to persuade the readers that the information presented in the following interview comes from truthful and trustworthy sources. Khazan also uses pathos as a rhetorical appeal in
In How Children Succeed, Paul Tough attempts to unravel what he identifies to be, “some of the most pervasive mysteries of life: Who succeeds and who fails? Why do some children thrive while others lose their way? And what can any of us do to steer an individual child – or a whole generation of children – away from failure and toward success?” (Tough, 2012). Children are born into environments of varying circumstances, good and bad, influencing their development. Through direct encounters with researchers, educators and children of different environments, Paul Tough approaches his questions by ex...
Being a parent is a full time job that by no means is easy. It takes a lot to raise a child. Usually there are many sacrifices the parent makes so their child has a better life and parents try to raise them in the best manner possible. In two different novels The Family of Pascual Duarte by Camilo Cela and The House of Bernarda Alba by Frederico Lorca, readers are introduced to two mothers who are anything but great parents. However, Bernarda is a better mother than Pascual’s mother because she was only doing what she thought was best for her daughter’s whereas Pascual’s mother didn’t always act in the best interest of her children. Raising children to become the adults the parents believe they are meant to be typically involves protecting
I always believed that you could see the effects of bad parenting, by studying the youth of today opposed to the youth of sixty years ago. The effects of bad parenting can be measured in many different ways. One of the things that we all forget about is “lead by example”. What we as adults, teach our children, is what our future generations will be as people.