The lens in which loved ones view a person dictates their journey on the path to self-discovery. This social influence on a person’s sense of self is exemplified through the short story “Boys and Girls” by Alice Munro. “Boys and Girls,” tells the tale of the pressures placed on a young lady to conform to society's idea of the perfect woman. It showcases how the expectations and ideals of loved ones can negatively influence a person’s identity. Those that are seen as important to someone can affect self-perception through the reinforcement of opposing ideas, , and weakening of others. One’s view of themselves can only be influenced by those they allow. A person’s reflection in the eyes of those they love is the foundation in which self-identity …show more content…
is built upon. When a person’s identity is suppressed, they end up conforming to the ideals that oppose their beliefs. Expectations are essential as they force determination and orderliness, but it becomes disastrous when people are compelled to change aspects of who they are to fit the mould. The main character expertly illustrates the redefining of one's self to please others. She begins the story as a confident young girl who can stand her ground and speak her mind despite being told things like, "girls keep their knees together when they sit down”. The transformation experienced by the young lady is most apparent in the change of tone in her stories, “for a while, I might rescue people; then things would change around, and instead, somebody would be rescuing me.” This excerpt displays her change in the greatest way as her perspective on herself had completely changed, rather than seeing herself as a heroine she is now merely a damsel in distress. The constant stressing of ideals by loved ones spreads like a terminal illness through a person’s body. These perceptions swallow a person whole and leaves behind an empty shell for others to derive pleasure from. The expectations set by her loved ones force her to view herself in a different manner. After the constant drillings of everyone’s opinion of perfection into her head, she starts to see that being “a girl was not, as I had supposed, simply what I was; it was what I had to become.” The girl began to realize that she was not the type of girl seen as valuable, to become that she had to succumb to the dictations on who everyone else thought she should be. The theme of rigid gender roles in this society is forced upon the innocent girl by those around her. For instance, when the salesman comes to visit, her father introduces her as his “new hired hand” to which the man responds “could of fooled me, I thought it was just a girl." The inability to accept change in this society is discouraging and lethal. The young lady is bombarded with the false idea that she is just a girl and can be objectified. This theme of her simply being a girl is extremely significant in this story as it is the reason why this character does not have a name. She is seen as someone so insignificant that she does not require a name. The young lady had heard these statements so many times from various people that started to herself as nothing more than just a girl. Furthermore, the powerful influence a negative reflection from a loved one can have is through the creating of an outcast. When a person has a different attribute society attempts to isolate such people. By making a person appear as a pariah, they lose their strength and are unable to fight for against the majority. In this story, the main character is made into a social outcast because she does not enjoy participating in “feminine” activities. Her strong dislike towards the expected gender role is expressed on page 4 when she is forced to help her mother; she complains saying, “I hate the hot dark kitchen in summer, the green blinds and the flypapers.” Although the girl defies what is expected from a female during this period, she also appears to reason similarly to others around her. She had become poisoned by the negativity that surrounded her. Her thoughts to not wanting to stay inside with her mother are because she sees her mother’s work as “dreary”, and “depressing” in comparison to her dad’s which is “important”. It is glaring from these excerpts from the story that the way in which she was perceived influenced her by making her have the same outlook on things. The young girl constantly reiterates the same lies spewed at her towards her mother by making her seem slow and uneducated, for example,”I felt my mother had no business down here.” She displays a strong will to take the spotlight of difference off of her and point it towards someone else. Her desire to be seen as normal causes her to become distant from her mother. Munro’s main character needs the distance from her mother as to her; her mother is representative of everything other people want her to be that she can never be. This disdain against her mother can also be seen as the reason why she seeks acceptance from her father throughout the story. She believed the only way she could derive fulfilment and acceptance from her family is by being the perfect son since she was unable to be the daughter they wished they had. Her longing for approval and recognition from the men around her is best displayed on page six by her observation,” Laird was getting a lot bigger. But I was getting bigger too.” At this point in the story, she is starting to notice the defined roles and is frustrated by the adult’s excitement in her brother’s growth rather than hers. The behaviour of the adults in her life only works to morph her into the domesticated woman that can continue the cycle of male dominance. Towards the end, this uncertainty wears down her confidence, making the girl vulnerable to the harsh sayings of those around her. The last line of the story “I didn't protest that, even in my heart. Maybe it was true”, captures the feeling of defeat and can be seen as the end of her trying to justify her difference. Lastly, at a young age, people are taught to see the world through their parent’s eyes.
However, this guidance begins to take a negative turn when a parent’s helping hand is used to bring their children down rather than lifting them up. This is a reality for the main character in “Boys and Girls”, as for the majority of the story, she is undermined and overlooked by the people she loved and respected. The girl's mother initializes this depreciation through her statement saying, “wait till Laird gets a little bigger, then you'll have a real help."(page 4) This seemingly innocent comment shrinks the character’s sacrifices for her family’s business to something trivial and immaterial. Her mother’s hushed remarks on her daughter significantly affect herself as she is suddenly exposed to a world of clearly defined gender roles where she cannot participate in the “masculine” activities she loves because she is not a boy. She begins to view herself as insignificant and worthless because of the way she is seen by her mother based solely on her being female. The girl’s mother is not the only person to minimize the girl’s self-worth, but their family friend Henry Bailey plays a significant role. Mr Bailey is described as being practically a part of the household and always present at their home. Her respect for Mr Bailey is best illustrated on page 1 where the girl explains that she “admired him for his performance and for his ability to make his stomach growl at will, and for his …show more content…
laughter, which was full of high whistlings and gurglings”. The author offers such a precise description of her liking to Mr Bailey to emphasize the contrast between how the girl viewed her relationship with the family friend. Although she had suspicions that Mr Bailey’s laughter could be directed at her family, she never imagined that her participation in the male-driven family business would be something to mock. His perception of her is exemplified through his statement made during the girl and Laird’s fight that, “Oh, that there Laird’s gonna show you, one of these days!”(page 6) These remarks made by loved ones over things as trivial and petty as sibling quarrels only go to display the disease being spread in this community. What the girl sees as simple bickering her and her brother is exaggerated to express his view on Laird’s impending growth into a man while completely ignoring her growth too. Contradictory to her outlook, the family friend sees her development as irrelevant that will eventually be unable to rival Laird. After realizing that she is perceived in a different way than expected, the girl declares that she “no longer feels safe”(page 6). This feeling of insecurity stems from her loved ones reprimanding her and causing her to feel that being a girl was a label that is synonymous with “reproach and disappointment”. In conclusion, one’s image according to their family is the sculptor of their identity.
The transition the young girl experiences as a result of her loved one’s relentless judgement displays its adverse effects. Although Boys and Girls can be seen as a story on the effects society has on self-perception, it directly points at familial interactions. Her loved ones pressuring of perfection, scapegoating, and belittling unveils the damage that can be caused. The girl’s blindness towards the negativity radiating off her family members resulted in her loss of identity. “We define our identity always in dialogue with, sometimes in struggle against, the things our significant others want to see in us”. This quote accurately describes the young girl as she adapts and changes herself into what she believes everyone around her wants to see. Her desire to please others works against her as it hinders her from discovering her true identity. The main character lost her ultimate treasure in an attempt to gain acceptance from her family,
herself.
In the short stories, living vicariously is a common motif the protagonists are victims of. They are being manipulated by their parents to achieve for them what themselves failed to accomplish. In the short story “Boys and Girls”, the narrator who is part of the female minority, is faced with the paradox of becoming what society but especially her mother wants her to become. Later on realizing that she did not had a choice, an...
Gender socialization between boys and girls have been a topic of controversy for years. With views varying from supportive to disproving, one general consensus can be drawn from either side: gender socialization is the foundation of how children are brought up and is the primary reason for how boys and girls view the world in different ways. In Michael Lewis’s “Buy That Little Girl an Ice Cream Cone”, the reader is given personal anecdotes about Lewis’s family vacation trip to Bermuda, followed by an event that shaped the way he viewed both his two young daughters and the socialization of parents towards their children. Society’s differentiation between how boys and girls should act and behave is the main indication that children are socialized
As we grow up, people experience different ways of how to express themselves as an individual, especially how to express their emotions to others. Depending on how we are raised, we stereotype boys to be strong and sturdy while girls are gentle and sweet. In both their respective articles, “Defining a Doctor” and “His Marriage and Hers: Childhood Roots,” Zuger and Goleman compare and contrast the different ways of how each gender showcases their behavior and emotion to others. In “Defining a Doctor,” Zuger observes two interns and notices how differently they approach their patients by using their emotion. In contrast, Goleman in “His Marriage and Hers” defines the separate emotional worlds between boys and girls and how their upbringings are
Teenage rebellion is typically portrayed in stories, films, and other genres as a testosterone-based phenomenon. There is an overplayed need for one to acknowledge a boy’s rebellion against his father, his life direction, the “system,” in an effort to become a man, or rather an adult. However, rarely is the female addressed in such a scenario. What happens when little girls grow up? Do they rebel? Do they, in a sudden overpowering rush of estrogen, deny what has been taught to them from birth and shed their former youthful façades? Do they turn on their mothers? In Sharon Olds’ poem, “The Possessive,” the reader is finally introduced to the female version of the popular coming-of-age theme as a simple haircut becomes a symbol for the growing breach between mother and daughter through the use of striking images and specific word choice.
...ughter to realize that she is “not a boy” (171) and that she needs to act like a lady. Doing so will win the daughter the respect from the community that her mother wants for her.
An individual’s identity is determined by how others perceive them and how they perceive themselves. However, its seems as if society’s opinion of an individual has taken precedence over an individual's own judgement. This phenomena has a great effect on the decisions people make. When Olivia mistakenly marries Sebastian and ...
In “I Was a Skinny Tomboy Kid” and “Bad Boy” they both have one central idea, that being different is difficult, but both express this in very different ways. Both authors share stories from them being different. The authors share experiences on how they struggled to fit in and how it was a difficult time.
People say we are who we are but, in reality the friends, family, and the media shape us everyday of what is called our identity. Families have a huge impact of who and what we are of course. In both Julia Alvarez “Once Upon a Quinceanera” and Jayme Poisson “Parents keep Child’s Gender Secret” talks about in how which families influence who and what we are and how much power they have in shaping one’s identity even if we do not see it. It is evident that society have expectations that are placed among gender and/or women roles but families tend to have the power to avoid these issues. Due to the articles, families do shape women 's identity just as men and have much power in doing so, due to tradition, expectations, and the way how society keeps reminding them to act a certain way.
From gender delegations, gender discrimination, and gender shaming the world is messed up place. From Scout, to the Flappers, to Leelah Alcorn nobody seemed to show any remorse towards the discrimination of any of them. Whether its society, the friends, or even the parents everyone seems to follows society’s gender guidelines and they beat up on who doesn’t no matter who they are, even if it drives them to the point of suicide. When society admits a gender rule everyone is pushed to follow this guideline and if they don’t well, from what it seems like they should just kill themselves unless they change. Similar to Scout, she was perfectly fine dressing like a boy, acting like a boy, and playing with boys until her Aunt installed these insecurities in her head to make her change her views and essentially herself. Society seems to always get it’s
In the story, “Boys and Girls”, the narrator is not the only one coming to terms with their identity.
“Boys and Girls” describes a major turning point in a girl’s life, turning down a path towards womanhood. Her childhood fears of the dark and fears of being less than a perfect worker to her father and her control of her brother slowly dissolve. Her decision to free the terrified horse highlights her pivotal journey into adulthood. And her ability to cry with sensitivity over her decision of freedom, demonstrates the acute sensitivity of a woman.
Alice Munro’s “Boys and Girls” is a story about a girl that struggles against society’s ideas of how a girl should be, only to find her trapped in the ways of the world.
Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning and also the basis of education. Curiosity had killed the cat indeed, however the cat died nobly. Lives of Girls and Women is a novel written by Nobel Prize Literature winner, Alice Munro. This novel is about a young girl, Del Jordan, who lives on Flats Road, Ontario. The novel is divided into eight chapters; and each chapter refers to a new, unique event in Del's life. As an overall analysis of the book reveals that Del Jordan's intriguing curiosity has helped her throughout her life, and enabled her to gain further knowledge The character is often seen in scenarios where her attention is captivated, and through the process of learning she acquires information in order to her answers her questions about particular subjects. There are many examples in the book that discuss Del’s life, and how she managed to gain information, as well as learn different methods of learning along the way.
In Alice Munro’s “Boys and Girls,” there is a time line in a young girl’s life when she leaves childhood and its freedoms behind to become a woman. The story depicts hardships in which the protagonist and her younger brother, Laird, experience in order to find their own rite of passage. The main character, who is nameless, faces difficulties and implications on her way to womanhood because of gender stereotyping. Initially, she tries to prevent her initiation into womanhood by resisting her parent’s efforts to make her more “lady-like”. The story ends with the girl socially positioned and accepted as a girl, which she accepts with some unease.
Many people think that boys in our culture today are brought up to define their identities through heroic individualism and competition, particularly through separation from home, friends, and family in an outdoors world of work and doing. Girls, on the other hand, are brought up to define their identities through connection, cooperation, self-sacrifice, domesticity, and community in an indoor world of love and caring. This view of different male and female roles can be seen throughout children’s literature. Treasure Island and The Secret Garden are two novels that are an excellent portrayal of the narrative pattern of “boy and girl” books.