I Hate You, Yet Thank You

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I Hate You, Yet Thank You

Dear Cancer,

Did you know, that I thought that the one thing in life that wouldn’t change was my family? I thought that no matter what we would always be there for each other. September 27, 2000, all of those beliefs were shattered because of you. Four years ago you killed Nana, my only grandma. That date will forever be etched in my heart because of you. You caused so much pain and so much sadness when you took her from us. She was so loving, so caring, and so giving. I see why you wanted her, but why did you have to steal her? Did you even know anything about her? She was a good person who didn’t deserve anything that you did to her. We, as a family, are good people who didn’t deserve to be hurt by you.

You see, before you took Nana from us, I thought that family was just there. I thought that they would always be there, just because. I remember being annoyed when Nana would ask me to help her do something. I would always think, “Can’t you ask Leslie or Katie instead?” Whenever my grandpa would drive, he would make sure he went five miles per hour under the limit. Let me just tell you, that made me so mad! I remember crouching on the seat in the car so that when people sped past us with their dirty looks, they wouldn’t see me. Even the way I acted towards my parents changed after my Nana passed away. Before, I would always roll my eyes when they told me what to do. I didn’t think that they knew what they were talking about when they would tell me to do something. Like most teenagers, I thought I was always right.

Did you know that every summer Nana and Poppy, my mom and dad, and sisters and I would go to our summer house in Maine? It was a tradition. My birthday always fell when we were up ...

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...enly arguing with my sisters doesn’t seem worth it. What if something ever happened to them? The last memory that they would have of me would be a negative one. I tell my parents I love them every single day, because it’s the truth. I know they love me, so I want to let them know how much I love them. I felt bad for every negative thought that I had towards my grandma. I thought that she would somehow figure out how I used to feel, but then I realized that she always loved me and my sisters unconditionally. That is why I loved her so much, and that is why, no matter what, I will always love her.

Basically, the point of this letter is to thank you for one thing. Thank you for strengthening our family bond. Thank you for helping me realize just how important family is. You helped me realize how much we mean to each other. Thank you for that and only that.

Sarah*

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