I Accidentally Dropped the Air Conditioner Unit on the Roof of My Dad's Car

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A Walk in the Park

My father and I were resting comfortably on our downstairs sofa riveted to the T.V. The climax of the latest Star Trek episode was just beginning to unfold. As the show cut for a commercial break my father turned to me and asked if I had removed the air conditioner from my upstairs, bedroom window. In our house I had a fall ritual involving air conditioning unit removal from the window and subsequent storage of said monstrosity in the closet. My younger brother, a hulking high school football linebacker, had a corresponding ritual of placing the air conditioning unit in the window the following spring. I hated removing this hulking piece of metal from my window because it was heavy and dirty. Each annual removal operation usually meant sore, scraped arms and liberal amounts of coolant oil on my designer jeans.

"I'll take it out after the show is over" I replied to my dad. Unfortunately this did not bring the closure I had expected. My father, angered that I had left this task to the final days of fall (still within the required timeline in my mind) insisted the job be done immediately. Like now.

This made the whole ordeal more aggravating to me. Not only was I to suffer abuse at the hands of this air conditioner but I would miss the end of my show too.

I climbed upstairs, seething with a rage mixed with adolescent hormones and self pity. I reached my bedroom, threw back the drapes, approached the window from where the air conditioner was perched and jerked open the window. To my horror, the air conditioner tumbled backwards out the window, end over end and landed squarely on the roof of my fathers two day old Buick. The Buick roof crumpled like a piece of paper. Meanwhile, the air conditioner had bounced off the car and landed sharply on our paved driveway. The whole incident took no more than a few seconds and yet my mind played it back in horrific, slow motion. I surveyed the scene. My dad's Buick looked like somebody had taken a sledge hammer and swung a lethal blow to its middle. The air conditioner lay in a heap of scrap metal beside the car.

I reflected on my next move. I had waded into my fair share of trouble before and had come up with many ingenious cover ups some of which still remain a secret to this day.

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