How Does Kincaid Break Her Connection With Her Mother

One the most heart wrenching times that a mother can have is when her little girl begins to break her bonds during the child's coming of age. Mothers often lament, "What have I done wrong?" Or, "doesn't she know that I'm telling her all of this for her own good; why does she have to get so angry with me?" One may ask, "What does a teenage girl often feel like when she is breaking her connection with her mother during her coming of age?" Men can scarcely understand this type of bonding, and moreover, most women don't seem to precisely understand this dynamic either. It's as if at first there is an intimate closeness, then heated separation, before a woman suddenly wakes up and begins to appreciate and bond with her mother all over again. Jamaica

Kincaid often teaches through her prose that in the Caribbean, mothers are often poor, uneducated, and have an intimate and enduring relationship with their daughters. Louis Canton demonstrates in, "Romantic Struggles: The Bildungsroman and Mother-Daughter Bonding in Jamaica Kincaid's Annie John," how Kincaid uses romantic symbolism to describe a Caribbean girl's tumultuous mother-daughter bonding during her maturation and eventual separation.
When describing the mother-daughter bond in many of her works, Kincaid uses a type of "romantic psychology" (Canton 128), in her works. Kincaid calls this bonded relationship, "A shadow that never leaves ... for I could not be sure when it was really my mother, and when it was really my shadow standing between me and the rest of the world" (Kincaid 107). When a young woman is bonded this tightly to her mother, there is little cultural or self identity. Canton notes that, "individual identity is blurred so that the demarcations of individual personality and personhood are unrecognizable"(128). At some point during the maturation process, there is often a natural emotional separation between mother and daughter. This is usually initiated by the daughter; who typically causes the initial tensions within mother-daughter relationship. As independence is gained, Kincaid's daughter character of Annie often thinks back on her childhood with romanticized and idealized thoughts of her mother. It's through these types of thoughts that Annie desires to re-establish the mother daughter relationship (Canton 131).
The romantic Caribbean symbolism that Kincaid uses while describing Annie's remembrances are deeply thought provoking.

Canton notes that Kincaid often describes the unity between mother and daughter as a metaphoric, "paradise" (Canton 131). Kincaid writes that there is a unity between mother and daughter; she describes that unity symbolically as, "A bower made from flowers whose petals are imperishable"(61). Canton wrote that throughout much of Kincaid's works, she describes each childhood memory with a symbolic analogy (131). Kincaid equates swimming on her mother's back as, "pictures of sea animals" (42). In describing the different type of situations that her mother would talk to her about, she used her mother's smells to symbolize the connotations. Of this Kincaid wrote, "She smelled sometimes of lemons, sometimes of sage, sometimes of roses, sometimes of bay leaf" (22). There is however, a paradox between these romantic symbols and the harsh reality of Annie's relationship with Mother. To Annie, Mother's attention can be stifling to the daughter at times; from conception mother has always been the focal point in Annie's life (Canton

137).
As strong as the mother-daughter bond is in childhood, eventually there will be a separation of that bond. Canton writes that, "The nature of the mother-daughter bond is that, at some point, it must transform and divide itself into recognition of separate identities" (131).
Even though Kincaid writes of Annie's romantic thoughts of childhood, eventually it become clear that she and Mother will have to separate if Annie is ever to realize her own identity.

Only by obtaining a personal identity can Annie ever hope to be freed from her mother and obtain her adulthood (Canton 131). Annie nervously steps out and accepts her new role of independence with some fear of her mother. She knows that her mother loves her, but at this point in her life she is afraid to show any return of that love (Canton 138). It is as if this slight must be used to distance herself from Mother before the daughter can actually leave. As the relationship deteriorates, Canton comments that Kincaid has identified that the mother's love is strong enough to transcend all the pain that the two have suffered (138). Kincaid's mother character says toward the end of "Annie John," "I'll always be your mother and this will always be your home" (Kincaid 147). This is a classic statement that most good parents will eventually tell their children, when it's realize that this time, their child is actually committed to

adulthood.
Although, the mother in, "Annie John," seems harsh and unbending in the eyes of her daughter, Kincaid touches on a very universal theme. Albeit Kincaid's Caribbean mothers have no formal education or training, it is clear in her works that they want what's best for their daughters. The Caribbean mother-daughter bonds in Kincaid's works are universal; they are the same bonds that mothers and daughters have throughout all human time. In, "Annie John," Canton shows us that the sweet day dreams that the daughter has in remembering her mother, are expressed by Kincaid through her romantic symbolism. Canton identifies through Kincaid's work that there must be a separation of the mother-daughter bond before the daughter can truly obtain her own identity. Fortunately, most times after maturation, the daughter will remember her mother's all encompassing love; and thereafter, springs forth in a renewed relationship once again.