I believe George Holden chose to focus on parenting styles because corporal punishment has become a common parenting approach, with over 70% of families participating. The speaker wants to introduce and convince families to a better parenting style. Holden presents a paradoxical argument that argues the way to empower children and parents is to disempower parents. He touches on the subject of corporal punishment and its unintended side effects . He transitions from speaking about a “traditional” parenting orientation, to what he considers a better option, “positive” parenting. He goes into further detail in regard to the lite and strong version of “positive” parenting and its core practices.
Primarily, Holden focuses on discrediting the traditional
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He explains the differences of these practices in comparison to the examples he showed of “corporal punishment”. In substitution of punishment, he encourages using humor, staying calm, avoiding punishments/rewards, and using “time-ins .”
I found the audio examples of various families provided to be quite intriguing and surprising. These parents were getting mad at their children for ridiculous reasons. It was alarming to hear how impatient the parents could be, but of course I understand how stressful life can be and how sometimes any little thing can set you off. It was interesting to see all the similarities within the examples and how at times most parents use corporal punishment for immediate compliance instead of using it to teach a lesson.
I also found Holden’s views on parenting to be a bit unrealistic. I think “positive parenting” is far better than “corporal punishment” but it isn’t as practical for everyone’s lifestyle. Holden, in my opinion, tried to make parents, that do use spanking as a punishment, guilty for how they raise their children. Some parents believe in tough love and the preparation it gives you for life. “Positive parenting” is a fascinating approach to parenting but it seems to only be realistic in a dream world. Issues arise like permissive parenting, too much stress on both the parents and child, and separation
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By avoiding conflict and avoiding punishment the child becomes accustomed to not receiving consequences. If this child were to step into a classroom and misbehave, teachers wouldn’t just overlook the issue, they would respond with punishment. A large part of life is actions and their consequences.
My second questions for Holden would be why he chose to study “positive parenting” and what his approach to parenting was for his children? I believe people’s opinions are formed by their own experiences. For example, how Holden was raised and how he raised his own children. Has he seen the benefits of “positive parenting” and has he experience any of its pitfalls?
My final question would be how the parents of the example reacted to their own recording and actions? Did they get to reflect on their parenting style and decide for themselves if that is how they want to raise their child? Sometimes we don’t realize what we are doing until we step back and see/hear it from an outsider’s perspective. I completely agree with Holden when he states that these parents could have handled these situations differently. I believed in a blend of parenting styles that create a loving environment but also discipline the child whether it’s spanking when necessary or talking it
While reading this essay, the one incident stood out the most was that her parents left Shawna alone with her newborn sister. At the time, Shawna was only ten years old. It angered me so much. I don't understand how her mother could leave her newborn child in the care of a young child. A child who can barely take care of herself and now has to take care of an infant. The first time she was left alone
Familial Love is natural or instinctual love. Familial Love can also be referred to as the love between a parent and a child. In J. D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, the character of Holden Caulfield does not convincingly embody a compassionate and caring character. Holden, after having a difficult year at school, finds comfort in his memories of his brother Allie. Another instance of Holden finding comfort, is when he spends time with Phoebe. In the same way, Phoebe is supportive when spending time with Holden. However, this takes a turn for the worse, as Holden reveals to Phoebe that he is leaving. Holden finds comfort and love through his memories of Allie, his experiences with Phoebe and the support from he receives from her.
Parents are the most important support system in their children’s lives. There is a breakdown in this support system for Holden. His relationship with his parents is very dysfunctional; he rarely talks to them and avoids seeing them in person. Mr. and Mrs. Caulfield have their own life agenda, which doesn’t include Holden as a priority. Their obligation is mainly to pay for the various boarding schools he attends. Holden’s parenting comes mostly from these boarding schools. Holden even feared returning home or was ambivalent about seeing his parents. When he did return home to visit his sister, Phoebe, he avoided his parents as much as possible. “It was a helluva lot easier getting out of the house than in, for some reason. For one thing, I didn’t give much of a damn anymore if they caught me. I really didn’t.” (p. 180) Any person that has a good relationship with their parents would certainly try go to them for help especially if they were in a difficult time in their life. Holden was undergoing a very difficult time in his life; he was lonely and desperate for someone to talk to. Instead of seeking his parents, he chose to avoid them. This portrays the lack of the primary support system in Holden’s life, his parents.
Holden is the second eldest son of Mr. and Mrs. Caulfield. Mr. Caulfield works as a lawyer. His wife is a homemaker. He is one of four children born to the couple. His relationship with his parents and siblings appears to be normal. Preliminary interviews indicate that Holden had idolized his older brother, D.B., throughout his childhood. Recently, however, his opinion has reversed. D. B. Caulfield, a writer, has recently relocated to Hollywood. Holden regards this move as a misstep for his brother and has even gone so far as accusing him of prostituting himself by ag...
Holden is like most teenagers: he’s trying to find his place in society without having any sort of direction. One of the main reasons this is hard for Holden is because he doesn’t have any role models and is misguided. His brother D.B. lives all the way in Hollywood “being a prostitute” (Salinger 2) and he resents his parents. Everyone around him seems to be “phonies “and Holden is continuously trying to be different but notices that the lifestyle he wants just doesn’t fit in the world he lives in . He constantly rejects certain ways of living but can’t seem to find the purpose for his own and because of this he criticizes the life of the...
To begin with, Holden’s love for the innocence and purity of childhood makes him very hesitant to transition into an adult life. Generally, he finds children to be straightforward, easygoing, and simply pure in every way. This is because they always say what they mean, and never try to set a false façade for...
Initially, I define the two concepts of mistaken behavior and misbehavior, the first as an error in judgment and action made in the process of learning life skills. Mistaken behaviors occur at three levels which are: experimentation, socially influenced, and strong unmet needs. Teachers who use guidance see self-ruled life skills as difficult to learn, and they recognize that children are just at the beginning stages of a lifelong process of learning these skills. In the process of learning any difficult skill, children, like all of us, make mistakes. These teachers recognize that when children experiences conflicts it is because they have not yet developed the cognitive and emotional resources for more mature responses. The second concept being misbehavior is the conventional term applied to conflicts that the child is involved in, resulting in consequences that often include punishment and the internalization of a negative label such a “naughty”. The complexity of teaching self-ruled life skills leads some adults to the misconception that young children know how to behave, they just choose to misbehave. When conflicts occur, teacher who focus on misbehavior tend to label the child’s character and attempt to shame the child into better behavior.
Spanking is an important aspect of a child’s social development and should not be considered an evil form of abuse. In her argument, Debra Saunders says that there is an obvious difference between beating a child and spanking a child, and parents know the boundary. Spanking is the most effective form of discipline when a child knows doing something is wrong, but the child does it anyway. A child who is properly disciplined through spanking is being taught how to control her or his impulses and how to deal with all types of authorities in future environments. Parents can control their child’s future behavior by using spanking in early childhood, because if...
Mr. Antolini?s theory as to what is wrong with Holden is right on, it?s just too bad he was unable to get through to Holden. Due to the fact that Holden has already given up on himself and is unwilling to apply the valuable advice he has been given. He has lost the substantial ability to find happiness in life and therefore can?t find the energy to motivate himself in anything he does. It?s a tragedy that someone as bright as Holden Caulfield is unable to find the strength within himself to persevere in a world of insanity.
Khazan states that by not punishing children, a parent practices the correct way to parent and attempts to prove that theory by confronting a controversial issue with confidence in order to persuade the reader to believe them. The article that Khazan wrote presents the opinion of not punishing children as a fact. Both she and Alan Kazdin, the man she interviewed, speak with confidence about this controversial subject, possibly with the intent of preventing the reader from thinking enough about the topic to form their own opinions on the theory. The thesis of the article is “Punishment might make you feel better, but it won’t change the kid’s behavior.”(Khazan), proving that they focus on convincing parents of this theory. Painting pictures of firm, factual, better ways to rear children, Khazan convinces casual readers that the opinions stated in the piece are factual.
The history of spanking from generation to generation has changed tremendously over the decades. There was a point in time where spanking was considered an integral part of discipline and it was not considered to be abusive in nature. My dad used to tell me stories of when he was a child and was always spanked for misbehaving - then even I grew up in a home where spanking was the normal reprimand for disobedience. For now, we won’t focus so much on my life experience with spanking but rather to point out both the good and the bad - the “pros and cons”, would you, of spanking in the form of discipline. The point that I am attempting to show in this paper is that the use of spanking in...
It is effective in a way that children would know how to manage their own behavior to a certain situation, and they may know what is right and wrong. If ever the punishment has gone beyond discipline and turned out to violence, the child’s capability of doing the things that he/she does could be discriminated nor humiliated. The frequent use of punishment may disengage into acting younger. According to Lodhi & Siddiqui (2014), corporal punishment leave scars in the memories of children which are unforgettable and unhealed. The child’s development of anti-social behavior may possibly occur. Lowering of self-esteem can be a factor leading to a child’s perception that he/she is a bad person. Punishment involves a negative experience for the child that occurs after they have done a certain action, which the adult condemns. (Lodhi, M.S., & Siddiqui, J.A.,
This essay will discuss whether it is thought that punishment is effective and whether it is currently thought to work, additionally it will examine the best ways to change a child’s behaviour in terms of positive and negative reinforcements. The issue of child punishment has received considerable critical attention within many cultures. Punishment towards children can be argued to be a very controversial area. It is argued that many people have been brought up with distinctive beliefs about punishments toward a child. A child’s upbringing is argued by many researchers to be key to how they will go on to treat their own children in the future. This can surely be argued to be a negative effect of physical punishment. It is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the effects of what severe punishment may have on a child. Later convictions of violence and the evidence of damaging effects on well-being, corporal punishment has on children is overwhelming. However, it is not ingrained that corporal punishment is definitely damaging. There is also sufficient evidence to corporal punishment being an effective form of discipline, if used appropriately. It is thought that corporal punishment helps parents retain control over their children’s behaviour. This essay will consider the various forms of punishment, such as physical punishments and whether they are considered to work. This is essay will also consider effective ways of changing a child’s behaviour including the use of classical and operant conditioning and studies that support the theories and how they can be applied to real life. Classical conditioning for example uses learning through association, memory prompts the person to associate an object/ sound to a certain behaviour. ...
Parenting comes as a challenge to most people and is probably the most important job in the world. Parenting comes with love, care and of course discipline for the child. Great parenting aids the children in promoting emotional and physical health, giving them motivation, manners, and good moral values. Most children learn from what they see and if they see good things at home, that’s what they will remember. There are so many parenting styles out there but in the end it is the parents choice to choose how they want to parent their children. In Mr. and Mrs. Harsh-Heart’s case on parenting styles they chose to focus on strict discipline, rules and harsh consequences with even resulting to spanking. This is known as authoritarian parenting. Then, we have Mr. and Mrs. Easy- Going and they don’t involve punishment because they believe in natural consequences so their children can learn a lesson on their own here and there. This type of parenting is known as permissive parenting. Although these families have two totally different ways of parenting their children, each way of parenting has its own advantages, and disadvantages.
That also affects the child academic performance as well. Another example Seltzer mentions was corporal punishment leads to increased aggression, which in this case the child is disruptive or destructive in different setting like school and other occasions. Moreover, the child later on in life is correlated with drugs and alcohol abused. In the ending of the article, Seltzer discusses that non-corporal forms of punishment are not the answer either. If the child is still given aggressive response, rather its manipulating, yelling, reprimanding, threatening or verbal reactions to the children’s misbehavior, it can have a significant negative consequence on the child’s mental and emotional development. Seltzer gives ways for a parent to use less negative response when approaching a child bad behavior, for example; more respectful of the child in letting them know in advance which specific behavior that is bad to do, carried out unemotionally and finally, more appropriate with the unacceptable behavior. Even though these are still punishment, however the child will receive the message that these performances are not wrong but