Guilt In The Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini

Guilt is the emotion someone experiences after they have done something they believe is morally wrong. People feel guilt when they do something wrong and despite knowing better cause someone else harm, or disappoint someone. People deal with guilt in various ways, but do not necessarily admit what they have done, so they try to overcompensate and do good later on to make up for their mistakes from the past. In the novel The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini a young boy named Amir, is haunted by the sins of his past and follows his struggle with the resulting guilt. Guilt causes people to make irrational decisions because it impairs judgment and consumes a person’s life.

Amir betrays Hassan when they were both young, and the guilt begins to

consume him as he tries to rationalize his decision to get rid of himself or Hassan. Amir sees Hassan when he is raped in an alley by a neighborhood bully. Amir is very young and is not sure how to react to what he saw; as a result he flees from the alley.

Hassan does not tell his father about the incident and Amir tries to forget. He cannot stand the guilt and wants to tell someone, but he still remains the coward he was in the alley. He begins to act differently, pushing Hassan out of his life, realizing the only way out is to get rid of the constant reminder completely. Amir is trying to figure out a solution to his problem and after he thinks about it he says “Maybe it would be for the best. Lessen his suffering. And mine too. Either way I knew one of us had to go” (Hosseini 102). The author specifically uses the words “his suffering” to imply Amir is projecting what he is feeling onto Hassan. Amir is not suffering as much as Hassan and that is why he has to do it. Amir’s guilt begins to consume him and the only way to cope with his actions is to believe someone else was in pain for his sins and this will relieve them from their constant pain. When the author writes the words “mine too” he illustrates that Amir is trying to make his suffering an afterthought and that what he is really doing just happens to also help him. It makes Amir be seen as someone who puts others’ feelings above his own when he is really trying to justify getting rid of Hassan. The author chose the

words “had to go” to show Amir believed he has no choice in what he was doing. Amir believes he is out of options, but his guilt causes him to make an irrational decision because all he can think about is getting rid of Hassan and the guilt. He never thinks through the idea that taking the person out of his life would not solve his feelings instead he just tries to rationalize. Amir comes to a solution before working through the problem and just tries to solve the problem in a way that will give him his solution. Amir’s guilt causes him to rationalize getting rid of Hassan because he believes that this is his last option, and convinces himself that what he did is causing Hassan to suffer.
Amir goes to Kabul to save Sohrab because he has lived with his guilt for over twenty years, so doing something, even without thinking it through, is worth the possibility of relieving this guilt. After speaking with Rahim Kahn about Hassan, Amir decides to return to Kabul to accomplish Rahim Kahn’s dying wish. Amir is not completely sure of his decision and decides he must go quickly in order to not talk himself out of the trip, Amir says “I was afraid that I’d let the waters carry me away from what I had to do. From Hassan. From the past that had come calling” (Hosseini 231). “Afraid” relates to the topic of guilt because he fears the idea that he will think too much and will not save Sohrab like he feel he needs to do. Amir is worried that thinking through his decision will lead him to return to his home and he realizes he can no longer live with the guilt. He must not think because he knows what he is doing is irrational and with thought he will return to safety. Amir uses the words “carry me away” to show he knows that waiting and thinking will make him stay behind. The phrase is used for showing someone is not in control and an outside force is acting on them. In Amir’s case he is very aware of how he responds to new adventures and how he will talk himself out of it, it is just a matter of time. Amir believes that by not thinking about the rationale behind the idea he cannot convince himself it is a bad idea. Amir feels he has to save Sohrab to relieve the guilt. The words “had come calling” emphasizes the way Amir has to deal with the guilt now or later but at some point he will need to answer the call before the guilt takes over. Amir needs to do something because the guilt is causing him to act differently and not think through his decisions. Amir’s guilt makes him chose to do things he would not normally do because he needs to find a way to relieve the guilt he has bottled up for twenty years.
The guilt from the betrayal drives Amir to make an impulsive decision to do something very dangerous. The decision would not have been made had he had the clarity he explained, Amir was waiting in a room to meet a man who had murdered two people earlier that day because he believed the man would know about Sohrab. He said “I was a thousand miles away from my wife sitting in a room that felt like a holding cell, waiting for a man I had seen murder two people that same day. It was insanity” (Hosseini 275). The author specifically uses the simile “holding cell” because Amir feels trapped and like there is no way out. Amir came into the room because of his guilt and it is the guilt is trapping him in there and keeping him from running out. He knows that fleeing will leave him with the guilt he can no longer stand. The word “murder’ is used because it refers to a killing that was unjust and morally wrong. Amir knows the man that will come into the room sees himself above the law and Amir even sees himself as a coward. The author uses the word “insanity” because Amir is aware that he was not thinking when making the decision. He realizes the guilt was clouding his judgment but he stays because the only way to absolve the guilt is to save Sohrab. This guilt drives Amir to insanity and causes him to make not very smart decisions leading him to dangerous situations.
Guilt leads Amir to act differently after his life is consumed and results in him making impulsive decisions. Amir tries to rationalize his decisions by thinking it is going to stop the suffering for someone else. Amir avoids thinking through his actions and doing things he would not normally do because he needs to get rid of the guilt. Amir acts differently and chooses different paths than he would normally. Sins from the past affect people later in their life if they did not fix what they did and drive them try to do the right thing to help them deal with the guilt.