As you inhale the aggregate odor of your senior class for the last time, I’m sure there are many burning questions racing through your minds: “Will I find my place in the world?” If you’re lucky. “Am I really going to graduate a virgin?” Yeah, probably. “Who is that incredibly handsome young man addressing us, and how long do we have the privilege of listening to him?” Howdy, Andrew Gonzales here, and hopefully not long; I realize that your robes are making you sweat, your thongs are making you uncomfortable, and my use of the words “virgin” and “thongs” is making your parents sweaty and uncomfortable.
I’m not up here to talk about sweaty undergarments, though. I’m not even up here because of my charm and good looks. I have been granted this lovely opportunity to speak to compensate for the misery that went into the earning of the title “valedictorian”, and all the misery that will envelope the rest of my life as a result of it. Whenever I can’t figure out how the pump works at the gas station, I’ll hear, “And you were valedictorian?” If I try to pull on a door that says push, it will be, “You were valedictorian?” Get caught picking my nose on the jumbo-tron at a baseball game, and the jeers will assault me: “Hey, jackass, were you really valedictorian?”
The purpose of a graduation speech, as it has been laid out before me, is not to complain, though, but rather to bore the hell out of you. That’s why my speech will last about four hours and seventeen minutes, filled with uninspiring poetry readings, bland quotes, meaningless anecdotes and the traditional candied assortment of shameless clichés and platitudes. Of course, I do realize that my speech is a compulsory formality, and that, in all likelihood, nothing I say will ...
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...s and a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush yadda yadda yadda. But, most importantly, have a sense of humor and cherish this gift of spasms and primitive noises as a part of human nature, before you age to the point where your heart will stop if you laugh. Laugh at life’s ironies and disappointments. Laugh at your society, your friends, and yourself. Laugh at Carrot Top even, not because he is funny, but because he thinks he is funny, which is so pathetic and absurd that it actually is funny. I’m going to end with a fitting quote. It’s not by Jefferson or Emerson as is customary in graduation speeches, but by the Harvard graduate, talk-show host, and comedian, Conan O’Brien. “If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you’re drunk.” Thank you Northglenn High class of 2006. I hope to laugh at you all again in ten years.
David McCullough Jr., delivered the commencement at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts on June 1st 2012 to staff, the 2012 graduates, and their family and friends. The speech was straightforward and supplied valuable information for their future. . McCullough’s speech at times felt harsh, offensive, and insulting. His words and examples were given to achieve insight, knowledge, and awareness for each student’s future. The commencement expressed a great deal of achievement, but conveyed that there was more work to be done. His speech was effective and appreciated through humor parallelism, repetition, and anaphora. His point of view has obtained respect and determination by all those that have been challenged and have heard his words.
She shows the perspective of many different people to show a seemingly neutral overview of the situation surrounding the status of valedictorian. Her frequent use of interviews and dialogue allows for her to show her opinion or position on the matter while still maintaining her status of neutrality; the claims simply appear to be the positions of others. The structure of her essay and positioning of her interviews also are deliberate and subtly support Talbot’s message. She grouped the interviews so that negative statements about valedictorians were positioned near the beginning and arranged the interviews with good outlooks on valedictorians near the end, separated by a chunk of historical context for the school system. The context used as a divider influences the reader to think the following interviews are stronger and more well reasoned because the audience has information to relate what the speakers are saying to. This establishes the intent behind the essay as the layout encourages the perception of the positive interviews as well written.
Life presents a wide array of obstacles as well as opportunities, and it is important to be prepared to take on whatever it is that life has to offer. In his Harvard Commencement Address, Will Ferrell reinforces this idea into the 2003 graduating class of the prestigious Harvard University as they prepare to move on to do greater things. His comedic approach is successful due to his ability to evoke feelings of laughter from his audience while also making them realize that they are entering a new stage of life. Although Ferrell is speaking directly to the class of 2003, anyone who listens to or who views his speech will experience humor in an otherwise serious event, and they will reflect on their own life or envision their future. Through
In her ,“Harvard”, address, actress, comedian and producer Amy Poehler speaks to the graduating class of 2011. Her speech is filled with her uplifting sense of humor and her down-to-earth personality that you can’t help but enjoy. Poehler utilizes various rhetorical strategies throughout her address such as allusion, and conveying pathos in a humourous as well as an emotional way. By using these, she successfully encourages the young students and families at Harvard University to work their hardest and take on the world.
I did not want to sound too nostalgic since I’m not the emotional type, but I also did not want to come across as indifferent. It was a difficult task, but I knew I could accomplish it. A week before the banquet, the senior cheerleaders were given the task of writing speeches about their coaches and their teammates. I am not the kind of person to voluntarily put myself in a situation where I have to speak in front of others.
When I was in elementary school, I loved to read. I was a total nerd back then ... okay maybe I still am, but one thing has changed. Now I don't so much like reading. My favorite poet was Shel Silverstein, who wrote "Where the Sidewalk Ends." He seemed like he was a total hippie, but that's cool because I like hippies. My grandma is a recovering hippie. I like her too. Anyway, Shel Silverstein wrote about the coolest things. He wrote about magical erasers, eating whales and a boy with long hair flying away from people who were taunting him. He captured all of the things that I loved without knowing that I actually loved them. Now you may ask, how does this hippie relate to our graduation? Well, he wrote a poem entitled "Traffic Light" and this is how it goes:
Sander, Libby. "The Chronicle of Higher Education: Students Try to Break Taboo Around Social Class on Campus." BATTEN CONNECTION. ( ): n. page. Web. 12 Dec. 2013. .
Good evening. Some of you out there may not realize this but those of you who attended Suntime Middle School have been with this guy for the last seven years. I would like to ask you all, not just Suntime Middle School grads and who all else, to join me in thanking Mr. Weather for his patience and dedication to the success of our education over the years. We are the Class of 2000. The first graduating class of the new millennium. The past four years have been pretty wild. We started out as a bunch of rats in a small cage, but as time went by we learned and matured and became big rats in a new small cage, but in any case, the cage door is now opening; the handlers turning us wild things loose. As we leave "Where the Wild Things Are," home to some of the best cat fights, fist fights and food fights this side of the Cascades, I have a little surprise for all of you sitting in front of me here tonight in your caps and gowns … we ain’t seen nothing yet!
The end of my first graduate school semester leaves me with a bittersweet feeling. Although I'm glad that the stress and pressure of continuously feeling unprepared to take on graduate school is now over, the feeling that I can successfully accomplish my goal and become a School Counselor seems more attainable. Working towards something I feel passionate about, and coming to the end of the beginning of a long journey has never felt so satisfying. What feels even better is all of the knowledge that I have acquired about the profession which society needs in order to function in times of despair. During our very first class we were asked about, “Our life’s motto?” From this day onward and after listening to the different perspectives, backgrounds,
In June of 2011, Conan O’Brien gave the commencement address to the 2011 graduating class of Dartmouth College. O’Brien uses humor and anecdotes to deliver a powerful speech which resonated with most viewers. O’Brien also used many literary devices for the graduates to better understand his primary points. Conan O’Brien delivery of his commencement address was effective because of his use of pathos, ethos, and antidotes, which contributed to his fantastic speech.
Commencement speeches, which are presented in American graduation ceremonies, aim to inspire and motivate. Successfully, Nora Ephron 's commencement speech addressed to the Wellesley Class of 1996; inspired her audience to "be the heroine of [their '] li[ves], not the victim". Through anecdotes, Ephron explored the differences between her education and the graduates at Wellesley College, to remind the women graduating that whilst society was different in many ways, in particular for women, "there was still a glass ceiling".
Never forget to laugh. "If you can laugh at it, you can survive it" (Cosby). Life is difficult for everyone. It is how people deal with these strives and struggle is what matters. Sometimes, the best way to get a break from the hardships of life is to simply laugh with friends and family. It’s a Balance process. Some people can be caught up in life’s problems and forget to laugh. Laughter is the mental medicine for life. Laughter supports the health of the body. Laughter can break up the quietness in a room. Laughter can change the room from black and white to a rainbow of colors. Laughter is a result of looking at something in a positive light. Is the glass half empty or half full? Whatever the circumstance, never underestimate the power of a good giggle. Never forget to laugh.
Good evening parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and friends. I would like to thank you all for coming to this very special day. I know how proud you must be. As we have grown over the years, there are many stages we all have gone through. From learning our shapes and colors, to getting our first kiss in middle school, or how about explaining to our parents why we skipped school because the principal called home. As we remember these days, things that we've done will be with us forever. But this is only the start of our journey. The day has come where we say goodbye to the big yellow buses, assemblies, assigned seating, and attendance policies. Are you really gonna miss it? For some of us maybe not right away. But eventually we will so for us to be here it is not necessarily an achievement, but a privilege. All of us have been in school over half our lives. To graduate is one more step we've taken in our lives.
Graduation is an exciting time in a person’s life, especially a high school graduation. When I think of family and friends gathering together to celebrate a joyous occasion, I feel I accomplished my strongest goal. It never occurred to me that graduation would be the end of my youth and the start of adulthood. Graduating from high school was an influential event that gave me an altered outlook on my existence. Life before graduation, preparing for graduation day, and commencement day overwhelmed me for reality.
"The Freshmen fifteen" is one of the most dreaded rights of passage into college. It is a well-known fact among college students, that one gains fifte...