Frederick Douglass Response Paper

1.Give an example showing that the focus in your writing is on the speaker and not the reader. Explain how this strengthens your statement.

Douglass uses an admonitory tone to assert “...that killing...any colored person...is not treated as a crime,either by the courts or the community ” (Douglass) to emphasize the sense of invisibility Caucasians had because the justice system did not hold them accountable for their actions thus implying Caucasians did not have to fear the ramifications of their actions.

The example focus solely on Douglass and does not mention how his tone impacts the reader but instead focuses on how the tone clarifies Douglass message. In addition, the example narrows the focus on Douglass which makes his claim

clear ; the community and criminal justice system do not make an attempt to seek justice for colored people who have been killed by Caucasians.

2.Write an example of your commentary from either paragraph 1 or 2. Explain how you strengthened your commentary or why it is already strong.

Although slavery has been disbanded the lasting effects of the Frederick Douglass era are still prevalent in the american twenty first century criminal justice system.

In today's society An increasing amount of African americans believe black males lives are not valued in the american criminal justice system because a growing amount of police officers have not been indicted for the murders they committed. If police officers are not indicted for the crimes they commit why would a police officer fear the consequence of indictment when most police officers don’t receive formal indictments.

I rearranged the order to connect how Frederick Douglass remarks resonate with the twenty first century criminal justice system. I added criminal justice system to make my assertion clearer in order to connect my assertion to the overarching purpose of my piece. I added the word prevalent to emphasis the effect on modern society. I have strengthen my commentary by explaining the perspective of the black community in the twenty first century which is essential to connecting my evidence to my thesis statement.

3.Give an example of quote integration which gives the reader a good about of the “scoop”. Explain what scoop is added and how it strengthens your

writing.

Douglass admonitory tone advises his readers“...that killing ...any colored person ...is not treated as a crime,either by the courts or the community”(Douglass 68), and his tone emphasizes the control Caucasians had over slaves because they did not have to fear the ramifications of their actions. This scoop allows me to strengthen my writing by providing my perspective on how the tone influences frederick douglass assertion.

4.Explain how you strengthened a vague statement. If you feel your writing has no vague statements, what did you previously do to avoid this?

Likewise , in the twenty first century we have made strides as a nation,but the old ways of the Frederick Douglass era still plague the America’s criminal justice system. I have strengthen my vague statement by adding the old ways refer to the Frederick Douglass era when slavery was prominent. In addition, took away modern day and added America’s to focus on the country the issue was relevant. My word choice is very specific and ties the frederick douglass era’s criminal justice system to the twenty first century criminal justice system.

5.STAR revision + dead words: How did this process improve your writing?

Star revision and the elimination of dead words has allowed my writing to become more clear and concise.I have replaced dead words with more eloquent word choice allows me to better convey my opinion as writer. I take out repetition to make my writing less redundant. Taking out irrelevant information in order to enhance the clarity of my argument. I have added detail, description, new information, and figurative language in order to clarify and expand on my ideas as a writer.Lastly, I have rearranged the order of my sentence to improve the fluidity of my argument.