Flirting and Courting Rituals of The Victorian Era

Flirting and Courting Rituals of The Victorian Era

In Victorian society courting rituals were put into effect to keep the young ladies pure and the gentlemen confused. Courting usually began at balls and dances where young girls were first introduced into society during their “coming out.” At every gathering of Victorian society the young ladies were chaperoned by their mothers or some other married woman so that nothing improper would happen that could ruin the young lady's reputation in society. The young ladies and gentlemen at the dances and balls were introduced through a third party and their Christian names were prohibited from being used because it would have been to forward and improper. After placing their name on the dance card of the young lady they could then proceed to dance no more then three dances because any more then that would be inappropriate in Victorian society. “After this formal introduction the gentleman would give the young lady his card to remember him by and at the end of the evening the young lady would look through her cards to see which gentleman she would allow to court her” (Powell). She would give the gentleman permission to court her by giving that gentleman her card and the right to call on her at her home where the courtship must take place.

In Victorian society there were certain criteria that each party followed to find the perfect suitor. If they followed these rules to pick their mate their personal shortcomings would balance out when they married. Certain criteria consisted of “not marrying a person with the same eye color as yourself, marrying someone that was opposite of you in physical and mental characteristics, and marry someone with straight or thicker hair if your hair was curly or thin” (“Finding” 2). After a suitable suitor is chosen and the young lady and the gentleman begin to court certain rules must be followed. These rules were in place to keep the ladies pure until marriage. “The courting couple always had to be chaperoned, the couple needed permission to go out during the day, the gentleman could never stay late at the young lady's house, he could never call without permission and the young lady had to say goodbye at the parlor door” (“Love” 21).

Because Victorian society was repressive towards true emotion, gentlemen and their ladies could not publicly express their love for one another.