Family Stories and Personal Identity

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"Here we go again," I thought to myself. Another story about the silly little girl my mother would always refer to as we sat around the dinner table at my grandparent's house on Christmas Day. The cute little blond, of course, was me at 7, who was just perfecting the art of making herself the center of attention. But despite what I thought, the stories weren't about me; they were about my grandma, who would later commit suicide. I don't recall childhood events as clearly as if it were yesterday, but these stories offer a sense of relief. They allow for a perspective that is crucial to my identity and my development. Family stories play a very important role in a person's psychological development. The stories I am told now, as a young adult, reflect my life as a child, some ten years ago. My parents were divorced when I was six years old; my little sister only four. My father was remarried within a year, but my mother struggled with a job, night school, and the unmastered task of ensuring the happiness of her children. While my mother was making sacrifices left and right, my grandmother stepped in to give her a hand. I think this took a tremendous amount of pressure off mom, because she didn't have to hire a baby-sitter. After school we would just take the bus to grandma's house. I remember grandma as a sweet, soft skinned, fun person. We would sit in the living room for hours, playing my favorite board game, "Trouble." As mom recalls, "You were relentless. She would play that game over and over with you, and she always let you win." I suppose I was a bit selfish; it was just so funny to see her bury her face in her small, wrinkled hands, but she never got frustrated with me. She was always so patient; she just wanted to see... ... middle of paper ... ...rience. In a way, the stories are the one connection we still have with her. Every family has traditions, and each has their own meaning and significance. In my case, stories about Me-ma are a way to cure the hurt and grief I was left with three years ago. For the rest of my family, including my mom, they are a fond tribute. Mom laughs when she tells the stories, and it is only then that I realize the importance of these family traditions. Stories are forever; they outlast the members who are remembered in them. Works Cited Finney, Nikky. Rice. Toronto: Sister Vision. 1995. Kagan, Jerome. "The Role of Parents in Children's Psychological Development." Pediatrics 104 (1999): 164. Nadel, Miriam H. "Telling Family Stories." 1995. www.cinenet.net/mhnadet/. Sanoff. Alvin P. "Eloping grandmothers and other tales." U.S. News & World Report 4 July 1988: 56-57.

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