Fall By Colin Mcadam Mental Illness

Examining Fall

Social Issue Identification and Discussion

Mental Illness is a disorder that many individuals are struggling with. This illness is found in many forms and can happen to any person. Mental illness can cause you to think, act and behave differently. In the novel Fall by Colin McAdam, this issue of psychological behaviour is explored vastly. There is a wide range of categories of mental illness including anxiety disorders, eating disorders, personality disorders, bipolar disorder, depression and schizophrenia (Canadian Mental Health Association). If mental illness goes untreated for a long period of time, many conflicts can occur. People who suffer from this illness could physically harm someone, they may not worry about the feelings

of others and become socially isolated (Bressert). People who are severely mentally ill may not be aware of their surroundings or what the consequences of their actions are.
Through Noel Reece’s narration, we are able to get insight into the mind of a sociopath and their thoughts. A sociopath is defined as someone with a personality disorder who has a lack of morality, is antisocial, ignores people’s feelings and manipulates others around them (Mayo Clinic). Noel was known to stay in his dorm and keep isolated until Julius came in the picture and introduced Noel to his friends and his life (McAdam 20). Even then, Noel got involved in pranks that hurt others. Noel tended to imagine that there was something going on between him and Fall even though they had only spent about a total of two hours of their lives together (McAdam 335). In a way, he was obsessed with her knowing more about her than Julius did. He knew specific details such as every skirt she owned and how she changed her hair (McAdam 84). Sociopaths also tend to lie, be secretive and behave violently (Mayo Clinic). When Noel was repeatedly asked about Fall and her whereabouts, he simply dug himself deeper by excessively lying to both Julius and the sergeant from the RCMP. Noel also liked the idea of violence and being violent himself. When he was asked to play rugby with the boys, he stated that he liked the idea of running at someone’s shoulders (McAdam 107).
A specific cause as to how this disorder is developed is not yet known. However, there are certain risk factors that can play a part in the creation of this illness, such as being neglected in your childhood and have an unstable family life (Mayo Clinic). Noel studied in Canada, while his family lived in Australia. He did not get to see them and was not able to feel the closeness and comfort of a family (McAdam 39). Overall, Noel showed many behavioural and physical signs of being a sociopath.
Summary
The story, Fall revolves around the social issue of mental illness. This novel has two main point of views that give us insight. One of the narrative voices belongs to Noel, who is a quiet and isolated boy and the other to his roommate, Julius who contrary to Noel is confident and social and is the son of the U.S. ambassador to Canada (McAdam 29). Both of the boys attend a boarding school by the name of St Edbury’s in Ottawa.
Julius begins to date Fall, a young girl who is admired by everyone at the school including Noel. As Noel and Julius become closer, Noel begins to develop a dangerous and unhealthy obsession with Fall and her relationship with Julius (McAdam 84). Noel shares his thoughts and believes that he has a connection with Fall and he’s willing to do anything to get his turn with her. When Julius gets caught for pulling a prank, he is given a form of detention and isn’t able to see Fall. This leads to Noel becoming a messenger and delivering notes back and forth from Julius and Fall (McAdam 164). Until one day in the winter, Noel decided not to show Julius the note from Fall asking him to meet her. Instead, Noel wanted to get her alone and declare himself to her (McAdam 168). He tricked Fall into thinking that Julius would be meeting up with them later and took her down to the river. At this point, it was told that Fall had sprained her leg and had crutches. Noel helped her downhill and kept reassuring her that Julius would be down there waiting for them and that he is playing a game (McAdam 171). When he was positive that they were alone, Noel told Fall that he owned her and Julius could not be hers anymore. Fall realized that Julius was not coming to meet them and confronted Noel, telling him to get off of her. She said she would tell Julius what Noel had done. In reply, Noel threw Fall’s crutches in the river and ran back up the hill leaving her alone in the cold (McAdam 177).
That was the last time anyone had seen Fall. Julius asked Noel if he had seen her, but he gave tense replies or tried to change the subject. After several weeks of assumptions as to where Fall was, everyone finally realized that she had gone missing (McAdam 226). The police were called and an investigation started. Many of the students were interviewed by a member of the RCMP, Noel being one of them. Both Julius and Noel were suspects for this investigation. After several questions, about Noel’s hobbies and personal life, the sergeant brought up the notes and all suspicions lead to Noel (McAdam 337). Fall never returned to the school, Noel was sent to an institution and Julius went back to the U.S. and shared his thoughts with other authorities about who he thought Noel really was.

Application
In this novel, the two main characters are also the two who take turns narrating. First, there is Noel, the son of the Australian diplomat. He is eighteen years old and has been attending the boarding school since the eighth grade (McAdam 20). Noel starts off as someone who is weak, lonely and essentially a nobody. However, mid-way we start to see the development of Noel’s personality as he transforms into an independent and powerful young man. At the beginning, as Noel describes his life he stated that he was friends with no one (McAdam 20). On weekends, most boarders would sign out to spend time with a relative or a guardian. Noel, on the other hand, spent them staying in his dorm or walking through the halls alone: “I could pretend I felt some sort of communion with the empty hallway, but it was just an empty space with creaks and drafts (McAdam 35). The hallways were empty with just Noel and his eerie thoughts. While everyone else was out of the school, Noel did not leave and stayed isolated from the outside world. This changed as he became friends with Julius and the other boys. He began to feel more comfortable around Fall and become more social. Near the end of the book, after winter break, Noel begins to compare himself to Julius saying: “Julius appeared noticeably older and less healthy. The sun and exercise had done me good, and when I caught glimpses of both of us in the mirror I found the contrast quite striking (McAdam 294). Julius was someone Noel always strived to be. At one point, Noel went to a café wearing Julius’s trousers and shoes. On top of that, he told the girl behind the counter his name was Julius (McAdam 264). This could tell us that there was a sense of jealousy Noel had when it came to Julius, his relationship and the other little details of his life. After Fall disappeared, he finally felt superior to Julius knowing she was what kept Julius so strong and confident.

Julius is the son of the U.S ambassador to Canada.

He is athletic, attractive and social. When we first meet Julius, we see him as a typical popular boy. However, we soon realize that his intentions are pure. The way Noel first describes Julius is by saying, “And when Julius arrived and everyone, including Fall, was drawn to him” (McAdam 23). Julius was someone everyone wanted to know. He was friendly with everyone but his weakness was trusting everyone including Noel. Even after Julius’s friend Chuck tells Julius about the arm biting incident that Noel was involved in, he still doesn’t care. Chuck proclaims, “There’s something I don’t trust, J.” Julius simply replies with: “Ok.” (McAdam 114). Julius wants to see the good in everyone and thinks that Noel is just a nice and sad person. After Fall goes missing, his attitude changes and he realizes that he may be trusting the wrong people. Julius no longer sees Noel as he used to be as he states: “You hang around. You’re always around. I don’t just mean in the room. You’re always right fuckin’ there, whenever I turn around” (McAdam 327). We get a sense of just how creepy Noel is. He follows Julius everywhere and watches everything her does like a stalker. He knows more about Julius’s life than he needs to. In a way, Julius overcomes his weakness of giving out his trust after the person most important to him is gone. At the same time, he changes from a strong and independent person to someone who has second thoughts. Both of

these characters made developments whether it was a positive or negative change.
Throughout the novel, many literary devices can be found. One of the most common devices used was foreshadowing. Near the beginning of the book, while Noel is narrating he says, “Certainly, I never wanted to hurt her” (McAdam 23). In this quotation, Noel is talking about Fall and it is foreshadowed that Noel will end up hurting her in a way we are not yet aware of. Hurting Fall was something he didn’t, at first, want to do. There are also other examples of foreshadowing such as when Chuck says he has a weird feeling about Noel and that he shouldn’t be trusted (McAdam 114). This ends up being true, as Noel had a private agenda planned for Julius.
Another literary device that is used is a simile. After Noel returns from the river and the incident with Fall has happened, he thinks about what he has done: “But as the night passed an anger grew; it started as a defensive reaction and then settled as something like a conviction” (McAdam 194). Noel talks about his feelings and thinks he would feel guilty, however, as the night grew so did his anger. He compares his anger to a conviction and firmly believes that Fall was his own and what he did was right.
There are several major issues occurring throughout this book such as suffering from an illness and not being aware of it along with the many delusions Noel has of himself and the people around him. Noel would be classified as a sociopath, but he was not aware of this. In his mind, everything he did was normal while others around him would sometimes refer to him as a freak. One night Noel went into a boy’s dorm and stared at him for a long time. When the boy woke up he was frightened and said: “You’re a fuckin’ freak, get out of here” (McAdam 52). Noel had snuck into someone’s room into the middle of the night, not thinking anything of it. Anyone else could see just how abnormal Noel’s behaviour was.
Noel had many delusions thinking people felt a certain one way when they felt the opposite. Noel thought that Fall and him had a connection, he had a desire for Fall and thought that she felt the same way even though she did not know him at all. He says it didn’t bother him when Julius and Fall first began seeing each other: “I somehow wasn’t upset. I felt it was part of a plan. I saw them together in the halls and I liked his face, thought she deserved a guy like that for a while” (McAdam 23). Noel thought that Fall and Julius’s relationship was all part of a plan and Noel was finally going to get Fall in the end to be his. When Noel says Fall deserves Julius he makes sure to add the word “a while”. Noel felt that Fall and Julius could be together, but definitely not forever.
High Impact Quotations
“I thought about him up there above me, scared, and I found more comfort. I liked the idea of him being scared, admitting it to me…And I liked possessing his secrets” (McAdam 85).
While Julius and Noel were having a conversation about Fall, Julius said that he feels scared. This brought ease to Noel, he had mixed feelings when it came to Julius, Noel was Julius’s friend but at the same time he was plotting behind his back. When Julius shared these feelings with him he felt a sense of relief. He wanted Julius to be scared and share his feelings with him including his deepest and darkest secrets. Noel was gaining Julius’s trust and he would soon be able to use this for his own advantage and use it against Julius. This quotation is significant to the social issue of mental illness because Noel’s sociopathy made him forget about other’s feelings. He didn’t feel sympathy for Julius instead, he enjoyed the thought of Julius feeling scared.
“I enjoy the privacy of pain; the knowledge that in this world of sameness and institutionalized experience, there can be a sensation which no one else will ever exactly understand” (McAdam 118).
Nobody really knew much about Noel. For the most part, he kept to himself and didn’t care for others. He liked keeping his thoughts and feelings private including his inner pain. There are specific sensations a person feels that no one in the world will be able to understand the way you understand and acknowledge that feeling. Even if he wanted to share his inner thoughts, people would end up calling him a freak because of the disturbing thoughts that go through his head. People who are mentally ill, have a difficult time sharing things with others. They like to keep to themselves and not trust anyone one.
“I stayed awake for a long time and dreamt about cutting a poem into Ant’s face with a razor” (McAdam 121).
All the boys were pulling pranks on each other every now and then. In this situation, Noel’s pillowcase was filled with shaving cream by Antony. As Noel was planning his revenge on Antony, he wanted to cut Ant’s face with a razor. This isn’t exactly something you would consider a prank. Noel’s pranks sometimes consisted of violence as he threw pails on people’s heads while they were in the shower (McAdam 254). A sociopath relies on violence just like Noel did when he was put in many situations.
“There’s a kind of pain you’re just not aware of . . . at your age. A bodily and a mental pain . . . And not being aware of it allows you to do anything” (McAdam 141).
While Julius was watching a hockey game, a fight between the players started. Julius knew there was physical pain that people endured but he thought about all of the people living with mental pain and not being aware of it. No one was aware of Noel’s illness including Noel himself. Noel didn’t know what he was doing wrong so he kept doing things such as lying, behaving violently, trying to steal someone’s identity and living in his own imaginary world where he thought he knew how other people felt. This gives significance to one of the major issues in the novel of not being aware of your illness, since Noel was not aware of his bodily and mental pain it allowed him to do whatever he wanted even if there were many negative consequences for his actions.
“There is little credit given to the possibility that a child might not love…I was born hungry, and no matter what my parents did to determine what I ate, my hunger was always my own. Distance was what I felt; distance was my choice” (McAdam 225).
After Noel came back from Antony’s Aunt’s house he said he felt homeless and wanted to go back there.

He talked about his parents and how distant he was from them and the fact that he didn’t feel comfort with them. He goes on to say that if a parent doesn’t raise their child and give them an ideal life, the child may have problems in the future. But, Noel disagrees with this. He says that the hunger he has along with the way he acts and feels isn’t because of his parents. He chose to be distant from everyone, it was his choice. His parents could try and help him but it wouldn’t change anything as he’s already made his mind to go through with the path he has chosen. Noel believed that the way a person’s parents treat them has no affect on who becomes ill. This ties in with the fact that many doctors say mental illness can be transferred through genetics, but Noel thinks most people, including him, develop this craving of hunger on their

own.
“She’s not dead.
You know that?
She’ll come back.
From where?
She’s not. She’s here.
In your head? What’s that supposed to mean?” (McAdam 336).
Near the end of Noel’s interview with the RCMP, the sergeant begins to talk about Fall and how this has been a murder investigation. They doubted what Noel had previously said about her running away as she could barely walk and didn’t pack a bag. Noel denies killing her and says she isn’t dead and that she’ll come back. The sergeant asks if she’s in his head. We can interpret this in different ways, Noel may have murdered Fall by accident and not be aware of it. He might have imagined leaving her by the river and is assuming that she will return soon. He isn’t aware of the fact that she is dead and thinks that she’s simply missing.