Ellen Monologue

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Maudire les actions du diable ! After years of working my fingers to the bone, this is all I get! The three people I valued most have left me. Ellen- my dear wife- passed away. My son – the one I trusted to be there for my family, after my time– has gone. Also my doll, my Mattie, with her sweet smile, her resilience as strong as a bull…Très bien! Qu'est-ce que je vais faire? My land, and my shattered family are all I have. I feel nothing… except shame, fear, and sleepless yearning for my loved ones. What bothers me most is … they all left me. Life would be so much easier with Lawton pulling the cart, Mattie looking after the younger ones and my precious Ellen… just staying here with me. I've been double-crossed by MY family! Lawton leaving
He didn't love Mattie. He was trying to use my girl! I saw him sparking with some other girls in the town. After Mattie left, he’s moved to Abby. I’d just like to kill em' all! But something stops me… his manliness… He's good at farming, looks after the family, and has lots of property- what more qualities does a man need? He's the only one I can rely on after Lawton, on a man-to-man level. Being surrounded by girls isn't the best. They're too weak, scared, or dream unrealistically! How dearly I miss having a man in the house! Others might think that if Lawton came back, I’d kick him out. I wouldn’t. If Lawton were here, he’d surely beat up that Loomis boy, for having a go at his sister. I've warned Abby to be careful… but she's just like her mother! So gentle, so kind… she wouldn't dare say no to
In reality, we started everything, but never finished any of it. The only person who worked to the core was Abby. Blisters, wrinkled fingers from washing the dishes, face flushed and sweaty, watery eyes from lack of sleep and pain…from love… and me. How dearly she wished for a hug… to be told that everything would be all right. I don't know how she does it. I tell her not to work too hard, but she tells me that this bad luck will pass. She says that Lawton would return with enough money to supply us for the winter, Mattie, with her share of the money, Lou being more helpful, Beth not singing horribly and Abby, at peace in the kitchen. It was music to my ears when she said that. I will fight till my last breath to make all her pain worth it! I’m not losing

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