Domestic Violence: A Family’s Dirty Little Secret

Domestic violence is an ancient problem. The mere mention of it today as an ongoing crisis should make our society embarrassed. Only within the past decade is our society beginning to realize that we have turned a blind eye to domestic violence. All along we’ve been viewing domestic violence as merely a moral and ethical dilemma. We’ve convinced ourselves that it was a private family matter and not a criminal act. We have told ourselves that some women deserve it, or perhaps they provoked it to happen. We excuse ourselves from the problem, into an uncomfortable but yet acceptable, part of our culture and convinced ourselves it was acceptable to look the other way.

So while we were looking the other way, here’s what has developed. Battering is the single major cause of injury to women...more than injuries cause by muggings, rape, and car accidents combined. It is the second leading cause of death to women age twenty to forty-five. Strangers perpetrate Twenty percent of violent crimes. More than half are committed by the person's partner. Research has shown that 36 to 50 percent of American women will be abused in their lifetime. Women and girls sometimes abuse men and boys, but nine out of ten victims are girls or women (Shannon 11). Domestic violence is not only limited to women though, it has been leaking into high school and college relationships. “It is now estimated that at least one out of three high school and college-aged youth experience abuse at some points in their relationships. It can range from a single episode to chronic abuse” (Shannon 24). Even more teens will face verbal or emotional abuse during a relationship, and 10 to 25 percent of girls between the ages of 15 and 24 will be the victims of rape or attempted rape ((Shannon 18). According to a 2008 survey conducted by the Massachusetts Department of Education, 18 percent of females in grades 9 through 12 reported being hurt physically or sexually by a date ((Shannon 35). We use to see this problem as only belonging to families on the lowest of the socioeconomic ladder. Domestic abuse occurs across all economic, religious, racial and ethnic backgrounds.

Women who are subjected to abuse need to understand that they are not the ones at fault. Guys who do this have serious issues. Things like this don’t just come along. They are either learned or brought on by their own insecurities.