South Asia: Arranged Versus Love Marriage
My friend Maria was a brilliant first year college student who had a GPA of 3.80 before she got married. She had a plan to have at least her master’s degree and if possible, get her PhD degree before she got married. However, Maria couldn`t reach her dreams because of her parent`s old tradition of arranged marriage. In her case, she ended up being a housewife with three children and a very abusive and manipulative husband. Maria`s husband was fifteen years older than her. “Is that what you want for our daughter?” This was my mother`s reply to my father when he insisted to make arrangements to get a husband for my oldest sister three years ago. Maria is from Pakistan, and she has been a close friend
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According to a marriage expert and a doctor who specialized in psychiatry, “family and religious involvement are key elements in the marital satisfaction of individuals in an arranged marriage” (Bowman). Simply put, when parents choose a spouse for their son (or mainly their daughter), they look for another family that they have a good relationship with or that has the same culture or ethnicity, and sometimes arranged marriage happens between two people whose families are of at least the same level of wealth. On the other hand, in love marriage, the parents do not have control over their children`s marital decision. Thus, many people decide who they may marry without the involvement of their parents. This means in love marriages, the parents of the two people might not know each other well, or the two people`s parents may have different religion or socioeconomic status. Therefore, some people who choose their partner want to make a connection with each other`s parents. Bowman, furthermore, states that in India even though two persons meet and fall in love without any family involvement, they would try to involve their parents by sending elders to each other`s family to ask for a blessing before decreeing their marriage. This practice helps maintain a good future relationship between the two families. As a result, arranged marriages are often more helpful than love marriage regarding a connection between the two families of the
According to the author, Lizette Alvarez, in the article “Arranged Marriages Get a Little Reshuffling”, Arranged marriages are better than modern marriages and parents can choose good mates for young. First, the arranged marriage has changed a lot in modern time. Arranged marriages are more flexible because young people can meet several times in some public venues without family members. Parents and elders have become more lenient. Second, arranged marriages have more advantages than modern marriages. Arranged marriages can preserve religion and identity and help people to find their mates in the same social class. Arranged marriages can outlast modern marriages because couples can avoid social and religions disharmony. Finally, young people prefer arranged marriage to modern marriage. Young people would spend less time to find their mate because their parents, chat rooms and dating websites help find mates for them. Young people can easily find their mates who have the same education level and social status. As a young person, I do not agree with the author because other people migh...
Arranged marriages are typically not practiced in the United States, however, they are still a part of other cultures. While arranged marriages are often seen as a barbaric or outdated practice, they can still be successful. It may not seem important to study arranged marriages since they are not widely practiced in modern America or other western cultures but some benefits of arranged marriages found could be used to lessen the negative image western civilizations have about cultures that continue the practice of arranged marriages. There are definitely drawbacks in the practice of arranged marriage but there are also benefits that are often overlooked.
Arranged Marriages have been around since time can remember. An arranged marriage is a marital union between a man and a woman who were selected to be wedded together by a third party. Historically, arrange marriages were the main way to marry. In certain parts of the world, it is still the primary approach. There are two types of arrange marriages. The first is a traditional marriage where the children can, with strong objections, refuse to marry their soon to be spouse. In a forced marriage, the children have no say in the matter. Bread Givers shows an excellent representation of the pressures on children from their parents to be married against their will.
In the movie, A Monsoon Wedding, the marriage that was about to take place was an arranged marriage. Aditi, a young woman who is still in love with an ex-boyfriend, has agreed to proceed with an arranged marriage, planned by her parents. In the beginning of the movie she states that she is ready to settle down. Her cousin, Ria, finds it “immature” that Aditi is deciding to get married to a man who her parents have chosen for and knows little of. Ria seems to believe that marriage should be based on love. When it comes down to Aditi’s marriage, culture influences why she has decided to get married.
In a scene the film Ravi goes to a wedding in India where a family member is being wedded. Ravi asked if he was happily marrying his wife, in love, and not having second doubts, all his family member expressed was no remorse, but it seemed as if it was something casual for him, it was necessary to marry, and that the bride he had chosen was approved from his parents, and the community of Patels. It seemed that throughout the film arrange marriage is viewed as normal in India, they don’t seem to ask their children if they’re happy about being arrangbeds into a marriage, it something that when you come of age you have to do. However in Indians living in America are challenging their parents and their cultures religion of arranged marriage. In America they are looking at the diverse cultures and falling love with people outside their culture, and making work, while others are still in the biodata and probably decided to marry into a Patel or other Indian name, yet still experienced dating other men before deciding. What was weird is that some Indian women don’t date until later in their college years when they are away because of the strict household their parents had and from fear of disappointing their family, and being
A wedding is a great social event in our society, which establishes a new bond between two individuals and families. Marriage is a joyful occasion with plenty of music, dance, partying and merrymaking. It also brings together long-lost friends, relatives and acquaintances. In India, the parents choose the mate for their child, which is called an arranged marriage. In most cases, the bride and groom do not even talk to each other until after they are married.
The Indians practice of arranged marriages is to protect the strengths of their families. They too look to keep the beliefs and cultures strong within their dynasty. Families search out and find perspective brides and grooms for their sons and daughters. This allows for their sons and daughters to be more focused on school and work not really much different then marrying someone you already know. We must also look at the Hindus in southern India and their consanguinity, although there uncle-niece marriages were the socially preferred. Medical problems existed strong in these unions; the DNA was just to close causing birth defects to multiply in the offspring.
She is a twenty-two-year-old Guest services Agent who is presently working at the Sheraton Hotel in Queens, New York. During my interview with her I discovered that she and her family of four migrated from Jamaica in search of a better life here in the United States of America. She portrayed a warm and friendly personality, as such it was easy for me to talk with her about self-identity. She informed me that while she was in Jamaica she excelled in High School and went on to University where she studied Health Science. Her reason for choosing that field was because her mother was very much involved in her development and encouraged her to stick to the sciences where she could specialize in becoming a medical doctor in the future. Listening to her, I realized that her decision at the time was based on what her mother had in mind for her and not necessarily what she wanted to become. I questioned her if she had figured out what she wanted to do with her life then, she clearly had no idea therefore she just followed her parent instruction. She pointed out that her mother who played a significant role in her life, always instilled in her the importance of a good education and that becoming a doctor would be the right choice. When she arrived in the United States everything changed. I followed up with the conversation and she told me that she started rebelling and didn’t want to go back to
One of the main arguments for arranged marriages is that parents, being older and more experienced, are better able to find a suitable match for their children. This belief relies on the trust the offspring has that their parents understand what would be best choice or most suitable for their children. This trust is often discouraged by the individualist ideal and rebel teen mentality sponsored by American mass-media. However, in India trust between parent and child are common. When Nanda tried helping arrange a marriage, we see that parents in India weigh many considerations when choosing partners for their children including the statuses of the individuals (including their caste and career path), the social dynamics between the members of both households, and what resources the other family and potential partner have. At least in the case given in the reading, this process can be though and produce a good marriage with stable family ties. Another argument made for arranged marriage is that since the parents are handling the marriage, the children are free to enjoy life and not worry about the details. To a lesser degree in our country, people delegate part of the relationship forming process to others by allowing friends, family, and dating sites or shows to play matchmaker. Though in general, in America the person who would be in the relationship is more involved, and has to worry about handling some of the details. In India, culture is more dependent on family structure so marriage is just as much about forming ties between families as the couple itself, which is part of the reason why the family is so involved in these
Modern arranged marriages are arranged by the child's parents. They choose several possible mates for their child, sometimes with the help of the child (who may indicate which photos, biographic he or she likes). The parents then arrange a meeting with the family of the mate and they will often have short unsupervised meeting (an hour long walk around the neighborhood together for example) (Arrange Marriages). The child will then choose who they w...
The vast majority of the population is Hindu religion and its organization and its operation is based on the centuries-old tradition and intangible principles. Among these traditions and rules, marriage is central because it is the cornerstone of the harmonious development of the Hindu society. Marriage is primarily a union between two same-class families to sustain the economic continuity and maintain the Hindu Society 's balance.
...ures. The presence of family when choosing a partner in Indian culture is much greater than in Western culture, and marriages arranged by parents are not an uncommon occurrence (Jaiswal, 2014). The sixth stage of psychosocial development begins at the age of approximately nineteen and continues until the age of forty, during which the focus shifts from the self to forming intimate relationships with others in an effort to avoid isolation (Erikson, 1977). Although arranged marriages are often opposed by those within Westernised societies, research suggests that Indian couples in arranged marriages experience higher levels of contentment than Western couples, and exhibit higher scores of agreeableness and conscientiousness on the Big Five test, further supporting the hypothesis that cultural practices and gender roles can influence personality traits (Markus, 2004).
Arranged marriage is much more effortless and like a short cut of love because the tedious and intricate process of maintaining the relationship and dating is omitted and they are under the influence of the same culture, share the same religious conviction and grow up in a similar social class. Individuals incline to an unvarnished and easeful lifestyle and the marriage does not occupy as the same ratio of life as five to ten years ago. On the one hand, boys may save the money which is used on dating because they do not need to buy too many things that pleased the girl. Moreover, in several circumstances, a date or a courtship is quite embarrassing and time-consuming especially for the adults who were forced to have a date under the pressure of their parents even from their grandparents. On the other hand, the spouse can cut down on the daily expense because their children will be nursed by their parents rather than babysitters and their children can live in a warm environment and a harmony atmosphere and feel more comfortable without strangers. Arranged marriages, according to the marriage experience of the parents and the marriage agency, alw...
Each marriage comes with a different perspective and story, whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage. Arranged and Love marriages are very similar yet different. Love is the pure feeling of attachment. Arrange marriage is like a blind date in hopes to find love. It could be love at first sight or love after a while so in somewhat way they end up being a love marriage after all because the end result is the same as they get married or find love. In this essay there will be comparison done on love marriage and arrange marriage. Each country has a different perspective on each type of marriage. I will be comparing both marriages in America and India. Love Marriages come with a responsibility of their
In general, arranged marriage has provided people fundamental principles about the importance of marriage and how a person can find happiness. Arranged marriage defines marriage between a man and a woman, which arranged by the couple 's parents and relatives based on family ties and traditions. Although marriage is described as the oldest and enduring human institution, the reasons for marrying have differed from culture to culture. In common circumstances, cultural, religious, economic, age, educational level, and racial factors play a role in determining who the person can marry and form which marriage takes. Some statistics find that the rate of divorce is low in arranged marriages and high in love marriages. For years,