Deborah Tannen Sex Lies And Conversation Summary

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In the article "Sex, Lies and Conversation," Deborah Tannen discusses the differences in the ways men and women communicate. These differences seem to make it more difficult for men and women to fully understand each other. Communication tendencies are developed throughout a persons life. As young children, boys and girls tend to play with kids of their own age and gender. These children carry these communication habits into adulthood, sometimes making it hard to communicate with the opposite sex.

These sex-separate groups have different organization structures and interactive norms that can cause communication problems between the two. One example describes that females create and maintain friendships through secrets. On the other hand, men’s relationships were based less on talking and more on doing things together. This insinuates that girls are more emotionally connected than men. Tannen explains that some men just do not like to listen because it makes them feel inferior. Since boys groups are larger and more inclusive, they must struggle to avoid the “lower” position in the group. On the other hand, women are often based in small groups where everyone is equally heard. It is differences like these that cause misunderstandings between men and women in communication. …show more content…

Tannen says: “at every age, the girls and women faced each other directly, their eyes anchored on each other’s faces”(Tannen, p.410). However, for the men she says: “at every age, the boy and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room, periodically glancing at each other”(Tannen p.410). This tells us that men are distancing themselves from each other, while women are trying to get closer to each

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