Death of a Father

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On October 27, 2011 my father had passed away. He died of a heart attack. He was a truck driver for FED-EX Freight. He was getting in his truck but started having chest pains. My father has a history of heart problems and has had a heart attack before. Anyway, he lost control of his balance and fell out of his truck and landed on that pavement. The hard fall caused him to bash his head and knock the stints out of his heart. One of his Co-Workers came running toward him and discovered my father was unconscious. He admittedly called 911. The paramedics came and rushed him to the hospital but, it was too late. They lost him before they arrived. As of today it was the hardest day of my life. At the time I was attending East Central College. I remember getting a call on my way to class. I was completely devastated. Knowing my father and I did not have the best relationship so it was even hard to face. I remember pulling over because I was in no condition to drive. I knew that I had to be there at the hospital shortly because my family was waiting on me to get there so I could view the body. It is bad enough I do not take death all that great. Who doesn’t though?
I go to the hospital and I see my dad’s body and for the first time in a long time I broke down and cried. It takes a lot for me to cry. My stomach not only dropped but, I felt a piece of me leave my soul. I have always wanted a good relationship with him and I was working on it and everything else. We never know why things happen, they just do. Sometimes we do not get the best outcome on why things happen and I can witness that. It’s still hard for me to talk about because I still search for answers why I never was given a chance to build that bond wi...

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...uld be going through emotional cycles for the rest of my life. Knowing he is no longer here and the fact I know longer have a chance to build a relationship with him. It is also hard when the holidays come around and not having him there to enjoy the fun times you have with family. It has all changed. Things just aren’t the same without him here. Then you have the death anniversaries and his birthdays plus your own. I miss when he used to call to wish me a happy birthday. He never forgot. However, last year my step mom did forget and I was heartbroken. My short term effects would be getting through my wedding. I reached the hard parts of it all and I never have to go through it again. It was hard for me because he was not there to walk me down the aisle or dance with me but I came to accepting that. It’s the long term effects I have to deal with forever!

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