Darice Britt's The Psychology Of Gifting

I was reading comments left in response to an article by Darice Britt called the Psychology Behind Gift Gifting and came across this statement from Nastasia Love about receiving gifts.

"What matters to me is the person understands, or has tried to understand me, tried to do something that is relevant to me and our relationship."

What matters to Nastasia is what I believe really matters to most women who receive gifts from their significant other and I think we can sum it up in one word - UNDERSTANDING.

Use your gift to convey understanding

One of the appealing aspects of being in a committed relationship is having a person in this world of 7 billion plus that "gets you". Gifts are a way of tangibly showing that this understanding exists. In a study by researchers Jeffrey Durges and Trina Sego, 10 couples were asked to recall delightful gifts that they had received from one another, one gentleman "knew that his wife had many of the amenities appropriate to an upper-middle class woman, except pearls, so he gave her a strand of pearls."

This gift was among the ones she recalled as special.

How does this gift convey understanding? I am using my imagination, but when she opened the jewelry box and saw the pearls she probably thought ...finally, a strand of pearls, what every woman should have in her collection and what I've been missing, perfect for my black dress. He knew I needed pearls. I love this man."

It showed understanding of the type of woman she is and her social role. It tells her that he is attentive to what she has and doesn't have, but wants.

The same study also compiled some strategies that gift givers used to arrive at these gifts. Perhaps these will help you to tap into some

ideas.

Here are the 6 strategies and some ideas specific to push presents.

Receiver interests:
Is she a runner? Buy her a new pair of running shoes and a "baby jogger" stroller. Add a note in the card like "I know how much you've missed it, but you'll be able to hit the pavement again soon."
Does she collect figurines? Find one of a mother and baby for her collection.
Bring a feeling of closure
Has she been searching for something? Perhaps she's been looking for a specific item to complete the baby's room, maybe she's been searching for something from her past? Is there information she's trying to gather?
Does she have all but one of something? Perhaps she's missing an album by her favorite singer or a book by her favorite writer or maybe she's been to 8 of the 9 national parks in California. Does she have a handbag from all but 1 of her favorite designers?
Receiver hints
Has she been circling items in sales ads and magazines?
What items has she pinned on her Pinterest board or liked on Facebook?
Does she keep bringing up a particular item, but hasn't purchased it or has slyly deemed it as too expensive with a hint, hint buy it for me tone?
Hypothetico-deductive models (putting 2 and 2 together)
The birth of a baby is a time when most women need their mother, her mother has passed away, you buy her a locket and have a picture of her mother inside. (There are even lockets with an extra divider for more images that could allow a picture of her mother and have a few additional slots to fill.)
She loved Raggedy Ann and Andy as a child, she has mentioned how she wishes she had some of her old toys to pass on, so you buy her Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls to be hers until your child is able to play with them.
She has been reading a lot about minimalism and is actively getting rid of things and organizing what you have. You invest time to consolidate your family photos on SD cards/flash drives and buy her a couple of digital photo frames.
Core meaning (adding significance by showing understanding of the gift category as it relates to her)
You take her and the new baby out to dinner (the category), but drive an hour to the restaurant that her family frequented when she was growing up (makes it special).
You buy her a sapphire ring, but purchase it from Brilliant Earth because of their policies on ethical sourcing which matters a lot to her.
You buy her a
Receiver Orientation to World (her values and how she exists in the world)
Her life revolves around her children. You purchase a mother's ring.
She's creative, artsy, a free spirit. You have a painting made from one of her pregnancy photos.
She loves flea markets, is an antique collector and has a rustic style. You purchase a wooden, antique rocking chair.

To execute any of these strategies, you do have to pay attention to her. Observe her routines, notice her style, follow her social media posts, watch the shows she loves, think about things she's said and done in the past, be inquisitive and listen to her responses. Make these things your curriculum for a week or two, study her and reflect on what you know about her.

Show that you "get her" by choosing a gift that is a product of what you know.