Cross Country Camp Monologue

When I stepped out of the car for Cross Country Camp, I couldn't tell if I actually wanted to be there. I had been looking forward to this event for months, but part of me still wanted to hop back in my van and go home. At home there wasn't anything to prove, and I didn't feel like people were watching me everywhere I went.
Even so, I picked up my suitcase and checked the cabin listings. To my dismay, I had three of the most popular girls in my cabin. Popular people and I don't mix well, so I reminded myself that I would have to stay out of their way. Just as a precaution. My best friend Hannah and I were bunking together, so that was a plus. 
    Shortly afterward, Coach called a meeting explaining what the general rules for camp were. It was pretty much all the basics. Like when curfew was, or how meals would be working. At the end of his speech, he told us freshmen to hang out with any upperclassmen that asked us to do something. For me that translated to I'm forcing the upperclassmen to be nice to you, so you'd better go along with it.

Before the night was through, I had played frisbee golf, cards, and basketball.

It seemed everywhere I went a different group was asking me to do something with them. I felt like a charity case, the person everyone felt sorry for. Why couldn't Coach just let Hannah and I stick together? What was so bad about not getting to know people?
That night I ended up crying myself to sleep. I was drowning in fake niceness. If nobody actually cared what I did, why did people pretend to be nice to me? Belonging is always a nice feeling, but I'd rather be an outcast if it means I'm not imposing on

people. 
The next morning we got put in groups for team building. My anxiety level seemed to spike in two seconds flat. My mind instantly flashed back to gym class. A place where popular jocks yell at you when you screw up. I felt pretty confident this would be a high school version of gym class. How was I supposed to cope with this? 
We split up and the first thing we did was sand volleyball. I tried to hang in the back, but eventually our server got tired and she needed to be replaced. Remembering the one sport I was actually ok at, I stepped up to try and underhand serve.
The first few tries were acceptable, and we continued to score points. Finally though, I botched a serve and sent the ball flying into the nearby parking lot. I gulped, looking around expecting people to have disappointment etched on their faces.
But they didn’t.
Our team captain tossed me the ball and said “It’s fine, just do it again.” Our old server said “Don’t stress out about it. I screwed up a couple times too.”
Never had I seen a group of people be so calm about a competition. That wasn’t the only time I was the weak link either. I missed the serve two more times, I got multiple outs during kickball, and I kept falling behind during relays.
Still nothing happened.
Could I have been overreacting the night before? Were these people actually just…nice? By now I was sure the gym class people would have been livid, but these upperclassmen? The ones who would be my teammates for the next few months? They didn’t seem to care. Slowly but surely I began to feel at ease.