"Do you know what it's like to be completely hopeless?"
"Yes and no..."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm hoping I will no longer be hopeless."
"Sounds like madness."
"Yeah...Well...It's my life."
"Then I guess own up to it."
"But why? What's the point? I will just crash and burn again."
"Yep."
"..."
"That's why you need to do it for the glory of God, through Him."
"That's such generic garbage."
"Sure, but it's still true."
"What good is the truth if I'm still dying on the inside?"
"Because your pain, suffering, and hopelessness does more for Him than any of your foolish, hedonistic ideas of satisfaction. Wallow in the hard truths of life, cry out for restoration, and find Joy in His suffering."
"..."
"Everything else will just be
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Okay yes."
"...?"
"I am definitely you. 100% with no counterfactuals, but I am not you as you are. I'm what you want to be. What you think you aren't capable of being. And you're probably right in some twisted way. Except that you are doing it right now. But it feels fake doesn't it? Yet calming and peaceful.
However, you can't help but feel that same sense of lying and vanity you find your soul overflowing with. And I don't blame you. You-No I, am very broken. I can't get past those mistakes, those sins, and the crushing reality that I will do it again, and again... And again..."
My name is Joseph Carr, and I talked to myself for relief, and that's completely okay. I am not a freak, or a weirdo. Or less than anyone. I am simply trying to live and not be a complete piece of trash in the process. I fail 99.9% of the time and I hate myself for it, but Christ didn't die for me so that I can despise the Imago Dei.
I love you Joseph (Is that selfish?), and I want to love Jesus even more. Oh please God, I'm begging for help. Save me from my rabid consumption of idols. It often feels as though I am dying of spiritual starvation. Please feed me with anything...just something to give me strength...to love You more than I had
“I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”
I leave you with one last line from this video. “I, want to love you, but something’s pulling me away from you, Jesus is my virtue, and Judas is the demon I cling to, I cling to.”
“ And I kept sincerely waiting for Jesus, waiting and waiting but he didn’t come. I wanted to see him, but nothing happened to me. Nothing! I wanted something to happen to me!” (Pa...
A thick plume of black smoke and ash hung in the air in a heavy haze, almost completely obscuring the lurid red glow of the waning sun. Below, a cloud of grey plaster dust twisted and writhed amid the sea of debris as intermittent eddies of wind gusted by.
The bottom line is I am an eighteen-year-old, still peeling back the layers of my packaging. I spent years developing my chameleon-complex in the chase for perfection. I’ve come to realize I am perfect, not necessarily to myself or others, but I do know I was fearfully and wonderfully created by God with a distinct purpose. I present myself to you packaged, not by me but by you. I believe the partial chameleon-complex is a gift, enabling us to facilitate others in personal growth. But it may also serve as a hindrance, giving people false identities. So, who would you like to sit before you today, what is your pleasure? I assure you, look at me in different light because I can become whatever you want.
O Lord, give us the utterance and pour out Yourself again upon us so that Your thought, Your feeling, and Your rich word may dwell in us. May what we speak be only Yourself. We pray that You come to every one of us that we may gain You right now.
The life of denial is not easy. C.T. was often separated from his family, comforts and everything familiar. Are you being called to a deeper commitment to Christ? Many a time C.T. didn’t know where his next meal was coming from, yet he never asked anyone other than God for funds. Is God calling you to live a life of faith, dependent on Him for your every need? How much are you willing to give so that others may have the same hope you possess? Do you wish to live within the sound of the church or are you ready to run a rescue ship within a yard of hell? Three principles you must live by: Deny yourself. Take up your cross. Follow Christ.
For a portion of my life, I have tried to be someone I was not. In middle school especially, in order to gain popularity and fit in with people I thought would make me more popular, I was untrue to myself. I pretended to be a certain way and be interested in certain things that I didn’t even have much real interest in, and ultimately, I was not happy. Looking back, my three years of middle school were probably some of the worst years of my life. This was all because I wasn’t acting as myself, but instead as someone I thought would make other people happier. I believe that you need to be your true self in order to fulfill a happy life. There’s a borderline corny but powerful quote from Dr. Seuss that states: “Be
Think what a remarkable, unduplicatable, and miraculous thing it is to be you! Of all the people who have come and gone on the earth since the beginning of time, not one of them is like you.
Having an identity and finding yourself isn’t always the easiest task to do, luckily I think I’ve found myself and I’m proud with the way I am and carry myself. Now, most people might not think that my outlook is the best way to go through life but fortunately I don’t care what people think of me.
There are many different types of events that shape who we are as writers and how we view literacy. Reading and writing is viewed as a chore among a number of people because of bad experiences they had when they were first starting to read and write. In my experience reading and writing has always been something to rejoice, not renounce, and that is because I have had positive memories about them.
Seek God whole heartedly and worship him in spirit and in truth. Bethke argues, “It's not a museum for good people—it's a hospital for the broken which means I don't have to hide my failure; I don't have to hide my sin Because it doesn't depend on me; it depends on Him See, because when I was God's enemy and certainly not a fan He looked down and said, "I want that man." Since we’ve all been broken by sin, you don’t have to hide your sins and short comings, pretending to be perfect and fine when you are not. You can simply go to God with our failures and
Recognizing who we are not is good in knowing who we are, but it is only the first step
...and answer my prayers. I now know that He will never leave me or forsake because I am His and He is all mine. I now know that in my distress, I can be like David and say this poor woman cried, and the Lord has heard me, and saved me out of all my troubles….Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus for delivering me and answering me in my times of distress. I thank you for giving ear unto my cry and hearing me when I call you.
Have you ever been at that desperate point in your life where you were begging- no pleading for a word from "up there?" You plan your day around an hour of time tucked away, specifically for quiet time with Jesus. First, you get everything that could distract you out of your room: cell phone, kids, food, work, laundry and to do lists. You sit down, empty your mind from all thoughts, and determine to hear His VOICE. You wait rather impatiently. You hear nothing, not even a faint whisper. The only noise is the wind whistling by outside shouting its importance being greater than yours. As the seconds turn into minutes, you venture deeper and deeper into a black pit of discouragement.