Communication Between Men And Women Essay

We all have a certain way of communicating that seems evident and natural to us, so we can be shocked, frustrated, or even sadden when someone misinterprets us. Interacting with other people is part of our daily lives, yet men and women have different styles of communication and behavior. Some of the major differences between men and women are how they express emotion, affection or intimacy, and communication. Women tend to be more emotional and express more affection, whereas men are far less emotional and express less affection. Women regard intimacy as talking face-to-face; however, men regard intimacy as working or playing side-by-side. Women tend to ask more questions when communicating while men ask fewer or no questions at all. These

are some of the reasons why men and women have miscommunication issues; each of them disapproves in particular aspects of communication. In order to ameliorate communication and live in accord, we each have to work hard to understand and respect our differences; and we need to learn to anticipate and respond appropriately to them.
Both genders express their emotions, but do so differently. Women are more prone to express their emotions while men are less likely to express their emotions. Women speak openly about what they are thinking and feeling. They demonstrate how they feel with facial expressions, hand gestures, body language, and analogies. Most women are more comfortable figuring out how they feel by talking through it with other people. Most men, on the other hand, tend to figure out their emotions inwardly. Often times, they do not exactly comprehend how they feel, so they try to figure it out on their own inside their head. Most men are afraid of expressing their emotions openly with others and keep them hidden inside in order to protect themselves from looking unmasculine or weak. Women often think in terms of closeness and support. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation (Tannen,1998). Men and women not only express emotions or intimacy differently, but they both express communication differently.
Communication styles are different between men and women, and may cause misunderstanding between both genders.

A woman may use “listener noises” such as “Uh huh” to let you know that she is listening. Men tend to prefer to sit quietly and focus on what is being said. Men tend to interpret the woman’s conversation noises as interruptions and may become annoyed, according to Deborah Tannen. Deborah Tannen also states that most women often prefer talking while sitting or standing in a group of people where everyone is face-to-face. Most men prefer talking shoulder-to-shoulder. A woman might use gestures, facial expressions, and incline her head and shrug her shoulders during the conversation. A man usually prefers a relaxed pose; they prefer to keep the body language and facial expressions more contained. These are the reasons why miscommunication can occur between men and women. Here is an example by Deborah Tannen: A college student was frustrated because whenever she told her boyfriend she wanted to talk he would lie down on the floor, close his eyes and put his arm over his face. To her, this not-so-subtle sign meant he wasn't listening. But he insisted he was listening, even harder than he would if he was looking directly at her. Lying down simply kept him from looking around the room so he could concentrate (Tannen,1990). Now, in order to solve these types of miscommunications, we need to learn to understand each other and our

differences.
Why are men and women so unfamiliar to each other? Will we ever be able to understand each other? It doesn’t seem possible based on all of the confused argot and intended messages we expect the opposite gender to interpret. But for some reason, in the middle of all this verbal confusion, we are expected to engage in normal, reasoned conversations. So, what shall we do?
My recommendation for men will be this: You need to stop being on the defensive side whenever a woman asks you a question about your feelings. Perhaps, you may say that you are feeling “okay”, but what if you are not feeling “okay” and we leave it be instead of permitting the real problem to rise to the surface? That may lead to you becoming aloof, starting unnecessary quarrels, and an accumulation of frustration that leaves both sides emotionally exhausted. If you have a wife, girlfriend, or partner who knows you very well, who is concerned about you enough to ask more than just one time, who has enough patience to wait until you give her a truthful answer—consider yourself a lucky man . I know it may seem annoying and persistent, which sometimes, it is in fact, but she must truly love you if she is willing and eager to be that irritating broken recorder that you loathe so much.
And my recommendation for women is this: Just be honest and come out with it already. For once and for all, stop bearing all of your self-consciousness and paranoia and just be sincere about it. When your husband, boyfriend, or partner asks you what the matter is, do not extend the duration of the conversation by pretending as if it is nothing when the both of you know that something is the matter. You are going to tell him what the matter is eventually, whether if he wants to hear it or not, so why not move along and cut to the chase, and get right to the point. All of those suggestive eye-rolls and sardonic comments are not going to make him any more willing or easier to talk to, so do yourself a favor and communicate your thoughts to him. If you are a moderately rational person, I am sure that whatever it is that you feel is not as illogical as you may believe. And even if you are bonkers, and what you feel is unreasonable, you will feel much better once you speak what is on your mind and finally put it to a rest. Follow these guidelines and perhaps, by the grace of Zeus Himself; we can manage to get along just a little bit.