Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt: My Journey to Self-Confidence

My eldest sister was a professional cheerleader. My second eldest sister rode horses and speaks fluent Spanish. My third sister played three instruments, crocheted, drew, and cooked. Even my younger brother was in the choir and played cello. I was in the middle. I felt like I had no skills. I can’t cheer, nor can I ride horses or speak another language fluently. My cooking is sub-par, and my skills as a violinist were… underdeveloped. I would always be seated in the back row of the second violins, the lowest of the low. All theses reasons contributed to why I didn’t join the color guard for three years, even after being constantly pressured and supported by the instructor. I would tell them that my knee hurt too much, or that it was too much money, however, the reality was I was too self conscious, too scared of failure to even try.

I finally joined the color guard this year, and I had a fantastic time.

I met many new friends and rose above my new peers. I found I actually had a talent for this, finally something to separate me from my siblings. The joy I feel is a feeling I will cherish for quit a while, and that is why I want this to be my senior project. By making a color guard show, I will be able to assert that I have mastered this skill, and be able to share my feelings in a productive manner that will hopefully make others feel these strong emotions as well. I shall research the evolution of ballet for it is an imperative part of color guard and combines the acting, dancing, and body movement pieces of the whole color guard performance. Dance has always been a weak point of mine, and so I hope this research will provide me with new insights into dance and

performing.
For my project I will be creating and and performing in an original Regional A color guard show; one that will be enjoyable and hopefully tear-jerking for the audience, as well as fulfilling for myself. I have performed in 2 color guard shows thus far, however, I have never staged one of my own. I am hoping to have my coach Seth Heideman, as well as Coach Devin Greenlee, be my mentors. This project should not cost too much money, as there are resources here at this school that I may use, however I must purchase uniforms and some flag silks, which all together should cost around $40. I will very likely spend more than 20 hours working on this show.
To steal another’s show is at the very least distasteful. This would grant me no satisfaction whatsoever. I want this to be my own show, so I promise the work and design will be, to the best of my knowledge, my own. I will not plagiarize on my research paper, for then there is no learning. I hope the best for my Senior Project.