Collaborative Divorce: The Child’s True Best Interest

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INTRODUCTION The divorce process is adversarial by nature. Divorce represents an end, often to something once thought to be meaningful, sacred, and beautiful. It is wrapped in pain, anger, self-doubt and encourages mistrust. In most cases it brings forth reasons to despise another person, whether for betrayal, feelings of abandonment or even forced disgust as a means for self-preservation. For parents it can become a race to the courthouse, a competition for love and choice, a habitual disparagement of the other parent. For children, the divorce process is just as uncomfortable. It might be the end of everything they’ve ever known to be comforting, or true. It raises questions, creates anger, sadness and shame. When parental conflict is added to the upheaval of everyday life for a child, it can have many adverse effects: depression, lowered self-worth, social withdrawal, lack of concentration in school, and it can change how a child handles their own relationships as an adult. It stands to reason that avoiding parental conflict during a divorce procedure would be in the best interest of a child; however the Court process itself could be considered an antagonist to cooperation. Perhaps the social mindset of divorce bears weight on the adversarial divorce process; perhaps that mindset needs to change. The concept of collaborative divorce is slowly making its way into American Court rooms. It provides an affordable alternative to litigation, and demands full cooperation of all parties. It reduces the risk of conflict, and in the event of disagreement there are trained professionals ready to intervene. A neutral law firm would function as the core for a movement for collaboration – a movemen... ... middle of paper ... ...and their effects on each other, during marital conflict. It is relevant because of its topic, but also in that it is a recent (2010) study. Silver, R.B., Silver, D.C. (2009). The Sieve Model: An Innovative Process for Identifying Alternatives to Custody Evaluations. Conflict Resolution Quarterly, 23(3), 333-348. doi: 10.1002/crq This article presents “The Sieve Model”, which was created due to the issues arising from adversary divorce and litigation. The model is clearly outlined and discussed as a program that encourages problem solving instead of conflict creation. This source further substantiates the sensibilities behind a collaborative law process, building upon court mediation and taking it a step further. It provides a “real-world” example which can be evaluated and used to support a conceptualized structure for a neutral legal firm to function within.

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