Coffee Monologue

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Three cups of coffee greeted me this morning.
It was all lukewarm, since I made it about four or five hours ago. The second cup is alone in my kitchen sink, right beside the disposal. I’m waiting for him to come back for coffee, but he’s taking far too long. I needed my fix. No, he still hasn’t returned.
I’m not sure if he will. I know I shouldn’t keep waiting. I’ve been waiting for too long. His coffee is already in the sink, yes, but I can’t pour it all out, until I’m absolutely certain he won’t come back.
I mean, he was all over me last night.
It was beautiful. Everything all magnetic and shit. Those romantic comedies I grew up watching over and over again held no candle to our fire. But then he left.
I thought he was going to get some poppy seed bagels from the diner at the end of the lane. He told me it was twenty-four hours, though I always assumed they closed at night. I mean, I’ve never seen anyone there after about nine o’clock. …show more content…

You know that I’m inattentive. Perhaps, he said that he wouldn’t come back after going to the diner and I just missed it. I miss things a lot. My doctor says that I’m just aging.
But, please.
Don’t tell me I’m too old for this. Too old to fall in love, or too old to wish that the college boy I picked up at the bar last night would actually go for me, or too old to pretend that my botox is preventative rather than needed, or worse--that I’m just somehow freakishly immature.
Thanks.
I knew I was vain already, you didn’t need to rub it in. I just miss being as long and carefree as I was in my teen years. Dancing on tables, kissing a girl that one time (which I totally did enjoy, though I would never ever admit it), and being skinny and pretty and

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