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Introduction
Codependence is an unhealthy, destructive mental or behavioral condition developed by a person who depends on other people or even things for his satisfaction. This dependence is a form of addiction and it can be on people, drugs, alcohol, work, or even beliefs. It was initially used to describe people living with alcohol and drug abusers (Lancer 1). A codependent person sacrifices or ignores his or her happiness, needs, feelings, emotions, and interests and lives according to other people’s needs (H. Wright and D. Wright 528). Such a person cares much about other things more than his own. It is mostly developed by members of a dysfunctional family that is undergoing a great pain or stress such as death, illness, chemical dependency, divorce, poverty, violence, sexual abuse, or even harsh environment (Codependency: People who care too much 1). Since it is a learned condition, children can learn it from their parents and pass it down to other generations.
Codependency is diversely characterized. Some symptoms include; Low self-esteem, a person compares himself to others and feels that he is not good enough; People pleasing, one does everything to please the people he cares about without a choice; Poor boundaries, demonstrated by poor or no limits at all to protect one’s interests, and instead one feels responsible for other people’s wellbeing; Reactivity, where a person reacts to other people’s thoughts, opinions, and feelings by believing them or becoming defensive due to poor boundaries; Caretaking, one gives up his needs, ignores his problems and tries to solve other people’s problems. Such people feel bad when their help is rejected; Control, one takes measures not to expose his feelings to those he cares about....
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...d low self-esteem among others. Codependency is treated by first looking back on where it developed and starting training on ways of eliminating it. Seeking help from Psychotherapists or councilors is also another way of treating codependency.
Conclusion
Though Codependency is an unhealthy condition with serious effects on the affected person, it has been shown to contribute to happiness mostly in dysfunctional families. It is a way of coping with difficult times facing a family that is not ready to solve its problems. It arises from family roles played by different family members from a dysfunctional family. As discussed above it brings happiness to all family members but, the codependent one suffers psychologically and emotionally. To have total happiness in a family, members need to face and solve their problems instead of creating codependency in its members.
Hazan, C., Gur-Yaish, N., & Campa, M. (2003). What does it mean to be attached? In W. S. Rholes & J. A. Simpson (Eds.) Adult Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Implications, (pp. 55 – 85). New York: Guilford.
12). According to Hirshi’s social control theory when an individual lacks developmental relationships or when they lack role models in their lives (as cited in Parent, 2009, p.3). Social control theory states that each bond individuals forms in divided into four elements. Three elements can be applied to the relationship Shipman had developed with Vera over the years. This theory can help demonstrate the importance on positive social bonds in ones life. It is highly likely that Shipman poising his patients due to a lack of love and support in his life after his mother’s death. The first element in the social control theory is attachment (Siegel, Brown & Hoffman, 2013, p. 144). According to Hirsh attachment with a parent is the most important bond a person should form in his or her life (p.144). For the case of Shipman he had a bond with his mother at a young age, Shipman and his mother got along with each other extremely well. The second element in the social control theory is commitment (p.144). From a young age Shipman was committed, first he was committed to the relationship with his mother. When suffered from the side effects from cancer he took care of her on a daily basis. Once she passed away he made a commitment to go to medical school and become a doctor so he could people. The third element in Hirshi’s theory is involvement (p.144). “Heavy involvement in conventional activities leaves little or no time for illegal behaviour” (Siegel, Brown & Hoffman, 2013, p. 144). After Shipman’s mothers death he entered a downwards spiral. He had no one else he had formed a special, unique bond with. In 1975 Shipman became addicted to a painkiller (pethidine). The lack of “conventional activities” in Shipman’s life left room for “illegal behaviour”, in his case it was the abuse of painkillers
Carnes then leads into how trauma bonds can be addictive. He lists the following criteria for addiction: “1. Compulsivity: loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or continue a behavior 2. Continuation of the behavior despite adverse consequences such as loss of health, job, marriage or freedom 3. Obsession with the behavior”. With the trauma bond, much like addiction to substances or other addictive behaviors, the addiction is defined as a “pathological relationship with a mood-altering substance or behavior”, except with trauma bonding the relationship itself is the compelling and mood altering draw. This supports the pervasive need to continue with the bonds that were created from the
EPD is a highly differentiated form of Dependent Personality Disorder, marked by behaviours of compliance and a need to 'mirror' significant others -parents, spouse, friends, employer. Individuals with EPD may be attracted to relationships with individuals showing marked narcissistic traits -people who need to be mirrored or praised- though this in no way forms a "standard" or "universal pattern" as is often claimed by theorists. EPD individuals may enter into relationships with a great variety of people, though at core there is a tendency to choose situations in which unrequited love will be the outcome.
“a person’s physical and psychological dependency on an activity, drink or drug that is beyond conscious control. It is said to occur when there is a strong desire to engage in the particular behavior, an impaired capacity to control the behavior, discomfort and/or distress when the behavior is prevented or ceased, and persistence of the behavior despite clear evidence that it is leading to problems and harming the person” (Gossop, 1989).
Trying to define codependency can be very difficult. It is not an exact or definitive state; rather, it's more of a general description for a variety of behaviors. Put simply, codependency is an addiction to love, where one person in a relationship is devoted and completely invested to a point where it negatively affects his or her emotional and physical well-being.
The concept of codependency is a controversial subject in the counseling profession, due to there being several different definitions of codependency. Clinician’s that primarily work with substance abusers believe that codependency is a valid diagnosis. Codependency appeared in the treatment scene in the seventies and was a term that developed by Alcoholic Anonymous. Codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feelings, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause us pain (Beattie, M.). A spouse uses coping skills such as pleading, threatening, arguing, avoiding, withdrawing sexually, being indulgent, taking control or responsibilities, seeking outside help and taking steps towards separation. There is an increasing evidence to suggest that maladaptive ways of thinking and behaving ...
Having a family is no easy task, especially when you are faced with many challenges that are unforeseen. Sometimes one imagines or hopes for an ideal family. The ideal family would consist of a spouse, one or two kids and live happily with little to no conflicts. The reality is that even if one tries to avoid conflict by all possible means, conflict is inevitable. Stressors and strengths within a family can be seen in almost every situation. Although stressors tend to be more noticeable than the strengths. Some of which will be discussed later on, although it will be mainly focused on the strength and stressors faced after a divorce for children. But if one focuses on the stressors more than the strengths, one will only see stressors rather than solutions.
Attachment is described as the close emotional bond between two people and Attachment Theory (AT) generally concentrates on the early bonds in a person’s development as well as the effects that these bonds have on later socio-emotional development. While emphasis on attachment as an antecedent for future behavior and personality has decreased somewhat in recent years, it is interesting to note that the DSM IV-TR includes a “reactive attachment disorder” which it states is caused when extreme circumstances prevent proper attachment development.
There are many psychological conditions that can affect the way a person acts, feels and goes on about their daily life. There is one in particular that caught my attention and it is the "Addictive Personality Disorder" or APD. According to Daniel H. Angres, MD "addictive personality disorder is a condition in which an individual is susceptible to addiction", which can range anywhere from drug abuse to pornography to even gambling. People are considered to be at risk of having this common but serious condition when one shows aggression, depression and lack of self control. People with this disorder can go from one addiction to the next or even hold multiple addictions at a time.
Hopefully you will discover within these pages solutions and information that address and are meaningful to your situation. Reading how others have coped with the pitfalls of unhealthy codependent relationships is to help you, to inspire you, and the necessary changes by changing the order of your priorities -- a revolutionary shift in codependent thinking unleashes an undeniable spirit that will bring about the joy and happiness and nurture the life God has planned for you.
Intimate relationships give meaning to life, a sense of identity, of well-being, of security, and of being needed. These relationships allow us to love and be loved. They bring a sense of security and lessen loneliness. Without intimacy there is emotional isolation, and emotional isolation increases the risk of physical and emotional disord...
Codependency is a mental illness most likely caused by either alcohol abusive parents or unhealthy relationships. This illness causes the person to become solely dependent on others and can grow worse if not treated by a professional or self-help support group.
A happy relationship is based on realistic expectations? Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. A happy relationships doesn’t just happen because two people love each very much, but because they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time and energy into building a happy relationship day after day. Throughout time, people have constantly attempted to seek happiness through relationships. In “The Diamond as Big as the Ritz” by F. Scott Fitzgerald and “The Story of an Hour” by Kate Chopin shows how happiness in relationship can be found in different ways. I think you can find happiness in freedom. Happiness is being free to do the things you want to do and to let go of fears and the judgments that other people might have and that’s how some people can find happiness in relationships.
A special bond is shared and a sense of comfort and togetherness is felt in most any situation. This attachment is very normal in close relationships and healthy to a certain extent. Many times one person becomes more dependent on the other and this can be very unhealthy because everyone needs their own sense of identity. Without your own sense of identity, you might feel smothered or unable to function without your mate. Either way, it is a lose-lose situation.