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What should the communication be in a relationship
What should the communication be in a relationship
Lack of communication in relationships
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Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication
When reading the article “Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication”, I could totally relate to some of the key points the article was trying to make. There have been many times when I have found myself trying to communicate to those that are closest to me and plainly seeing that what I was trying to express was not coming out the way I was expecting it to. Sometimes during those conversations I could see that the other person was getting upset or irritated with me which was not my intention. “People commonly believe that they communicate better with close friends than with strangers. That closeness can lead people to overestimate how well they communicate, a phenomenon we term the ‘closeness-communication bias” (U.S. News & World Report, 2011),
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While my intentions are good there are many times when Jessica gets upset or irritated with me because of what I was saying, I am not sure if it is so much the content or tone of voice. It could be something as simple as me trying to offer advice, but there are a lot of times that she takes it as me lecturing and pointing out her failures. Throughout the years it has always been like that. I have tried to change my approach, my tone of voice and even the words I use. While this sometimes helps in our communications, I would say nine times out of ten it is still a failure. Usually when this type of conversation occurs Jessica ends up hanging up on me or raising her voice, which then leads to me raising my voices, which creates that vicious
Brooke and Gary both fail to use proper verbal communication. “Common sense tells us that the topic such as verbal communication should be a central concern both for the scientific study of communication and for the scientific study of language” (Rocci, Verbal Communication). The verbal tones both partners used, sent messages to one another that had several connotations. “Connotation is the feelings or evaluations we personally associate with a word” (O’Connell, Verbal Communication Lecture). Before this phone call Gary told Brooke “Nothing I ever do is good enough for you,” and Brook responds “You don’t care about me.” Both partners are using “I” and “You,” which makes them defensive towards one another for assuming what the other feels and thinks. The tone of voice Brooke had when she told Gary that she was done, was a connotation. When Brooke said she was “done,” it was more of her wanting him to apologize, and fight for her, not let her walk away so easily. When Gary told Brooke he just wanted her to leave him the hell alone, the level of meaning was misunderstood. “Language has different levels of meaning” (O’Connell, Verbal Communication Lecture). Gary intended to imply that he needed space, and time to think and breathe on his own, but Brooke took it as if she should untie the knot, and break up with
There are several theories based on interpersonal communication that can be seen in various forms of entertainment, as well as real life experiences. You can see the social penetration theory in the bond that Maleficent and Aurora formed through the time they spent together. The communication privacy management theory can be shown in The Walking Dead as the main character asks newcomers three questions in order to determine who he can trust, and who he can’t trust. Glamour Magazine’s article about abusive relationships shows The Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation theory as it describes the reasons why the women left their toxic relationships. And finally, my personal experience with an old friend can represent the cost benefit/social exchange theory by the way our relationship costed me more than it benefited me. Communication theories are distinct in our every day lives, you just have to find
Just because you know someone very well like your mother, father, sister, husband, children, or best friends doesn’t mean you always understand what they mean one hundred percent of the time. We tend to miscommunicate with the people we are closest to every now and then. In the article, “Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication,” couples tend to believe that they can communicate better than strangers, but a new study suggests that these couples communicate no better than strangers do. Closeness communication bias makes us believe that we communicate better than strangers so an experiment was conducted with twenty-four couples to prove that we miscommunicate with our loved ones more often than we think (2011).
I chose to do my research paper on Intimacy and Distance in Relational Communication because I wanted to learn how communication is used when you are in an intimate relationship. The question I ask is “How does communication affect being in an intimate relationship?”. In the book it states that “People who report having satisfying intimate relationships have higher self-esteem, a stronger sense of identity, and greater feelings of control over their lives than those without close relationships.” (Looking Out, Looking In, Pg. 304) In that statement alone it kind of gives us an overview on what being in an intimate relationship can do. Webster defines Intimacy “close union, contact, association, or acquaintance.” We as people want to feel like
One reason why I have a problem with it is because it would not be allowed for anyone else to do those things to her and she like it. We’ve had a conversation about those negative ways she seeks attention. I gave her my point over view and she gave me hers. I’ve tried to encourage her in ways to build her self-esteem, and to go back to school, to also to get her a hobbies outside of her disrespectful daughter and husband. I’ve asked her questions when she does things to get a better understanding myself. She said she was just trying to help when it comes to her inserting herself in conversations. For the most part we work well together. If she forgets where something is, I can usually remember or vice versa. If I know she has done something right and someone says she did it wrong I would back her up. I would do that for any of my co-workers. If she makes a mistake I would correct it and move on if I can. If I can’t I just send her a message and say Hey fix this or that I tried to but I couldn’t because it’s under your name and she would do the same for me. I told her It’s not about working harder it’s about
Communicating closeness is one concept that we will be analyzing in the sitcom Full House. Within this concept we will see how communicating closeness helps to unite a family. According to the book Close Encounters, “communication is what helps foster and sustain closeness in relationships” (Guerrero, Anderson, Affi, 159). In other words communication closeness is a necessity to the growth and definition of a relationship, without closeness relationships will not survive. When we talk about closeness our definition can vary from physical, emotional and relational closeness. Physical closeness is the amount of space you give someone. For example, spending time with someone can convey physical closeness because you are physically near them. Emotional
This might have something to do with her making her own positive and negative face better by showing her audience she is a better controlled person than her friend, Kelly, which actually inflates her self-esteem. Overall, the conversation is effective on Speaker A’s part for the sake of making herself look like a good person and friend, but this can’t be very helpful to Speaker B’s part of trying to actually be a part of the conversation. Speaker A violates Speaker B several times during the conversation by stepping over his words. This in turn violates his illocutionary force because he was not able to communicate his feelings. It would seem as though speaker A is looking forward to the perlocutionary force that her story will have rather than any input from another source. The most important part of a conversation, turn-taking, takes place, but there isn 't much construct to it, as it is continually violated rule. There is constant overlap between both speakers and there isn’t much more than one topic that is introduced to the conversation. Although they should have constructed a better dialogue, there was a purpose involved and that purpose came into fruition in the
The questions were a great help. It provided the two time to get use to this obviously combative situation before either of them had a chance to tear into one another. The exercise help drive an element of rationality into an already sensitive charged situation (Cummings & Worley, 2009). The answers to the questions required specific responses concerning behaviors, not personal generalizations about personalities. Don and Mary listed specific behaviors about each other that allowed each other to recognize that the things that irritated each other could be changed. They were told to orally explain their responses. Due to the level of the hostility towards each other; it was safer for them to read their responses first to the third party facilitator. However, to understand the other’s perception, each party must hear the others comments. Shockingly, Don was astonished by Mary’s response to the first question. She had nothing but positive comments about him. He always viewed her as the enemy and he expected her to say awful things about him. He was amazed by the respect that she felt for him. Many of his negative feelings about her began to leave, as a result of her remarks. It’s difficult to be enraged by someone that speaks so highly of you. Therefore, he found it to be much easier to listen to the things that he does to irritate her. If you accompanied something positive with negative critiques, is it usually less painless to
When I began to comprehend the faults within our relationship, I knew it was time to act. Focusing on the Struggle Spectrum by the National Communication Association, I noticed that we were repeatedly climbing the struggle ladder and falling off the edge only to repeat it again. My younger, less educated version of myself would never have seen the problems but now, after years of college and my Interpersonal Communications class, I could see what needed to be done. I b...
Theiss, J.A., & Solomon, D.H. (2008). Parsing the mechanisms that increase relational intimacy: the effects of uncertainty amount, open communication about uncertainty, and the reduction of uncertainty. Human Communication Research, 34(4), 625-654. doi: 10.1111/j.1468-2958.2008.00335.x
On a daily basis, we come in contact with individuals that we have to communicate with, wither it be for work purposes, educational purposes, or social practices. As active humans we cannot escape the idea of socializing or communication, therefor; we make it a daily routine who we communicate with, how we communicate with them, what we listen to and how we listen it. With this routine habits are formed, some are strengths but others are weaknesses that diminish the communication quality. It is extremely important for individuals to recognize these strengths and weakness within their communication routine. By recognizing their strengths, they are able to improve even further and use their ability to get them closer to goals they may have set for themselves. Recognizing their weaknesses is just as important if not more important.
There are many different ways in which we bond with those around us. Conversational rituals are one of the ways by which we connect to our speaking partners, and whose meaning or objective is not what it initially appears to be. These rituals “exhibit the capacity to perform and accomplish things beyond their intended purposes,” and can serve to bring us either closer or further apart from our speaking partner, depending on what they perceive the social dynamic to be (Koschmann, M., & McDonald, J.). Ritual complaining is one of those recurring patterns by which we try to connect to others. It allows people the opportunity to bond over a shared dislike, and plays into the idea of “do as I do,” as mentioned by Tannen in her book That’s Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Break Relationships (1987). This means that we expect others to mirror our feelings, and if they violate this principle, we feel threatened.
Communication is important in relationships as it allows us to share our interest, concerns, support each other; organize our lives and make decisions; and it allows us to work together. Effective communication is based on the way we talk and listen, how we respond and our body language. We can all learn how to improve the way we communicate.
In my day-to-day life I have a tendency to look down when passing people to avoid eye contact or to pull out my phone to avoid making conversation. While using my phone is a form of Symbolic communication which people usually associate with being busy and not available to have a conversation, not making eye contact is a way to avoid conversation to avoid communicating my feelings or communication in general. I think my insecurities have a lot to do with my communication skills. I not only avoid conversations because of insecurities, but also because when I do talk to people it’s all scripted conversation anyway. It’s always less genuine because I never what to hurt anyone’s feelings by disagreeing with them or even by expressing how I truly
Communication means connecting or sharing ideas, and feelings to one another. Family and friends are one of the people that we communicate the most which is a way to build relationship, but sometimes miscommunication happens and it can lead to arguments. During high school, Three of my friends, Ella, Kass, and Karen, my sister, Rani, my cousin, Zhar and I are really close with each other. We hang out after school together. We buy matching bracelets and other things too but even though we are close we had some arguments. Friends do many things together, but there are some problems that had emerged in the relationship which may build the relationship or may cause the relationship to be broken.