Overcoming Expectations Parents want what is best for their children, but sometimes they expect too much and children can feel trapped. The only way kids feel they can escape from the pressure is to gain independence through rebelling. The short story “Brother Dear”, by Bernice Friesen suggests the idea that when individuals pursue independence by rebelling against expectations set out for them, they can become estranged from loved ones and feel like they have let them down; however, despite the pressure an individual may feel they can often remain optimistic about their situation. Greg grows up with a lot of pressure from his family to do well in life, the only way he feels he can escape this pressure is rebelling against what they want. …show more content…
Greg’s rebellion is something that causes tension within his family and he feels guilty for letting them down. Greg is able to remain confidant and not let his family’s views stop him from becoming independent and making his own choices. For all of his life Greg has strived to meet the expectations Jack, his father has for him, but after going to university like his father wanted he realizes that it is not making him happy and rebels against what Jack wants. Jack is very vocal about wanting Greg to become a successful lawyer and tries to make Greg do what he wants, instead of letting him have independence to make his own choices. Greg rebels by becoming vegetarian, dying his hair and dropping out of university, which is not what his father expects of him. Greg feels the need to rebel because of the pressure that is put on him by his family. Greg demonstrates his resentment of the lack of control his has over his life saying, “Be something…[t]hat’s all I ever get from Dad.” He does not feel like he has the independence to do what makes him happy and the small things, like becoming vegetarian and dying his hair are choices he makes so he can have a feeling of control over his own life. A big choice Greg makes, pursuing independence is dropping out of university, which is a potentially life changing decision. This is Greg’s way of saying that he will not conform to what Jack wants anymore, and is a big step in the direction of full independence. Greg’s self esteem suffers throughout the story, due to his pursuit of independence and the pressure he feels from his father.
Ultimately Greg is able to remain optimistic, despite the animosity within his family. Greg expresses how his confidence is affected by saying to his younger sister Sharlene, “Maybe if I was like you Dad would like me better.” Greg seems to envy that Sharlene has it easier with their family than he does, but doesn’t consider changing to be what his father wants. He hates the idea that his family is disappointed in him and doesn’t want to let them down, but this mentality is detrimental to his happiness and he ends up frustrated by the position he is in. Greg seems genuinely surprised that anyone supports him when he asks “You like me the way I am?” The fact that Greg does not think that it would be possible that someone likes him as he is shows that he’s not used to receiving the support of his family. The animosity within his family keeps Greg from totally believing in himself, and he hesitates to share his achievements with them, which creates a rift between …show more content…
them. Greg’s determination to remain independent is one of the key factors that allow him to stay positive and not take everything his father says too seriously.
Greg values his independence over conforming to what others want him to be, although he feels a tremendous amount of pressure from his family. When Greg asks Sharlene, “Do you think I’m nothing? Do you think you’re nothing?” he demonstrates that he does not want to be what society deems as successful. He does not want a job like a doctor or lawyer, but instead, wants to stand up for a cause he believes in and do what he thinks is right. In a way, it is ironic that Greg is going to school to become a lawyer, yet he protests against the government. Protesting is a way Greg shows his independence to his father, it is a way that he knows he is in control and he can advocate for a something he believes in, instead of doing what he is told. Greg’s confidence suffers after being yelled at by his father for deciding to drop out of university. “Is that all my family can ever do? Point out what’s wrong with me?” Greg says to Sharlene as she follows him out of the house, which shows how he feels that his entire family is against him, but despite the fact that he does not do what his father wants he still leaves the house positive. Giving up on his dreams and going back to school are not options for Greg, so he does not waver in his beliefs and does not allow anyone to push him
around. Greg pursues his independence throughout the story by rebelling against his father’s wishes and not allowing the pressure that is put on him to change his beliefs. Greg’s happiness is very important to him, and he realizes if he is always striving to reach the expectation Jack sets for him he will not be able to obtain his own happiness and independence. In trying to please everyone Greg’s self-esteem suffers, for a period in the story he lets it get to him, but ultimately Greg is able to regain his confidence. Greg is very determined to be independent, which allows him to have the will power not to let anyone tell him what to do. Independence can often lead to a greater sense of freedom, and pursuing it can be an action that will give an individual a sense of achievement and make them happier, even if they have to overcome adversity in order to gain full independence.
The author Wes Moore dad was a hard worker and he had dreams & goals set for the future. The other Wes’s parents didn’t have as much drive and ambition. The other Wes’s dad walked out on him and his mother was left to work jobs just to provide for the family. Author Wes’s parents ambitions rubbed off onto him and his mother’s love for education drove her to push Wes academically. The two mothers had different expectations and ambitions for their sons. The other Wes states “‘We will do what others expect of us, Wes said. If they expect us to graduate we will graduate. If they expect us to get a job, we will get a job. If they expect us to go to jail, we will go to jail.” (Moore 126). The expectation the families had on both Wes’s shaped who they were and that influenced the decisions they made, that caused their lives to end up so
Throughout the story, the narrator learns how important it is to Sonny for him to care and listen to him. Sonny is vulnerable and in a state where he is getting into trouble with drugs and alcohol perhaps because he feels as though no one cares enough to help him. The narrator lives his life as a teacher while Sonny spends his days using drugs hoping someday to pursue his dreams of music. Both characters end up in a place they are meant to be; acting as family and leaning on each other for support, which is the true importance of an older brother.
others to be accepted. Greg is pressured by his father to go to school and get a good education so he can get a career. "That's what you get when you're the daughter of a guy who inherited a John Deere dealership form his father and was always sorry he hadn't tried to be a doctor." (Friesen 27) Greg is sympathetic to his father and goes to university. His father regrets not going to university and pressures his children to do what he did not get the chance to do.
Each person in the family starts to develop a job or rule that that play in the family that others can’t really fill. For example Jeannette and Brain’s relationship with each other are almost stronger than anyone in the family. The role that Brain plays is the one that is extremely quiet unless with his family and even though he is a younger sibling he sees it as his goal to protect Jeannette, even if it evolves fighting older bigger girls but if it’s for his family he will do it. Lori is always lost in a book but he is like the mother of the family even though their real mother is around. Their father is bright man that the kids get to see from time to time but then there alcoholic father appears and that’s when problems arise. When it comes to functioning at younger ages they were almost completely dependent on their parents like all kids are, as they started to reach teenage they started to rely less on their parents and more on each other. They started to get their own jobs, when they needed resources they would rather depend on each other or themselves. The communication was free for the kids if they had a question or a problem they would voice their concerns but the only time they didn’t was when they saw that their father was drinking or was drunk. They left the
For so long she has been around what she saw as the destination for her life, which was success and happiness, in the lifelong family friends the Lowells. She assumed they were just given this life without ever thinking they had to work as hard as she did to get there, consequently envy and resentment ensued. The resentment started with the whole family and then got more intense and personal when it came to the daughter of the Lowells, Parker, someone Andrea could identify with on a personal level. This story illustrated for us the unseen factors and repercussions that too much ambition to be accepted by anyone can have one's long lasting development into their own person. This journey to prove who you are to others can lead to intense emotions and motives that aren’t normal yours and can cause you to lose sight of the very person you’re trying to prove that you
... mothers, the ability to pick out their own clothes is different from their mothers choosing what they will wear. What separates us from our parents and our friends, our neighbors, our coworkers—it’s rebellion. The differences between us define us and make us matter. And this begins in childhood. It begins with blue hair dye, blown curfews, and mouthing off. The self needs distance if it is to form.
At the same time, peer pressure further exacerbates family and personal conflict. Adolescent within America culture seek self-reliance, subsequently they desire more control making decisions about their lives (Young, 1991). In addition, exposed to external subcultures and peer world, adolescents begin to feel separate themselves from their parents (Grosskopf, 2007). However, Vietnamese adolescents during this period are expected to assume adult responsibilities such as providing, sharing, and working for the family (Yang & Han 2007). All the while, their peers are exploring, questioning, and forming their own self-identity. They become entangle in a web of no end.
There was always going to be pressure on me in one form or another, whether it be from my Mom, a teacher, or even my friends. But, I learned that letting these expectations compromise who I was; letting them get in my way by making me doubt myself, was never good. And I’m not writing this to say expectations are a bad thing. Expectations from others or myself are healthy, they provide us standards to hold ourselves to and present us with attainable goals. However, letting these expectations define you in moments in which you have to step to the plate and “swing” in life is never a good thing.
Every person reaches a point in their lives when they must define themselves in relation to their parents. We all come through this experience differently, depending on our parents and the situation that we are in. For some people the experience comes very early in their lives, and can be a significant life changing experience. In William Faulkner’s “Barn Burning” Colonel Sartoris Snopes must decide either to stand with his father and compromise his integrity, or embrace honesty and morality and condemn his family. This is a difficult decision to make, especially for a ten year old boy that has nothing outside of what his father provides. Sarty’s decision to ultimately betray his father is dependent on his observation of Abner’s character and the conflict he feels concerning Abner.
If your Daddy can give fifteen dollars you have no business on relief” (Gregory 638). This quote expresses the shame that Gregory feels because he is poor especially since because his teacher is embarrassing him in front of his classmates. There is no doubt that he was being singled out and that no other student had experienced similar treatment from the teacher. She yelled at him because she was impatient and angry with him. It is also suggested by this time that she had completely given up on trying to teach Gregory anything because of his behavioral problems. It is not implied that Gregory’s teacher tried to encourage or help him. Gregory never referred to his teacher as his favorite which is quite the opposite to that of Wilkins. Gregory wanted to get away from her. “I waked out that day and for a long time I didn’t go back very often” (Gregory 638). Gregory was so embarrassed by what his teacher had said to him in front of his classmates, and most importantly to Helen, as a result he did not want to go back to school because there was shame
The boy appears to play the role of the responsible adult more so than the father does. The boy has typical signs of a child from today’s broken family relationships; he does not want to disappoint either parent. The boy s...
The boy comprehends the severity of the situations he is faced with, such as lack of food or water, and treats his father with the same respect and equality that the man gives him. He insists on sharing his portions with his father when they are uneven, and he remains cautious at all times, even when his father is not. The boy’s fire is fueled by his love for his father, which is shown by the boy’s priority on caring for his father’s wellbeing, just as the man does for him. This love and responsibility, manifesting in the form of self-sacrifice and compassion, lies in direct juxtaposition to the rest of the world, where selfishness and indifference reigns
The story provides many sources for the boy's animosity. Beginning with his home and overall environment, and reaching all the way to the adults that surround him. However, it is clear that all of these causes of the boy's isolation have something in common, he has control over none of these factors. While many of these circumstances no one can expect to have control over, it is the culmination of all these elements that lead to the boy’s undeniable feeling of lack of control.
W.D Valgardson perfectly shows that loneliness and isolation often leads to rash acts of cruelty, and to suicide or death. He describes this throughout the story by showing Gregory getting falsely accused of stealing his brand new pilot uniform. The author continues
While most parents realize there are normal struggles between parents and teens as their sons and daughters struggle for independence and identity, they are often shocked by the length and intensity of the conflict. They are stunned by apparent rejection of some of their most sacred values and confused by their teenagers "acting up" and "acting out." In attempting to become psychologically independent of their parents, teens often attempt to move completely away from any control or influence by their parents.