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Chapter 3 communication skills
Communication skills personal and professional
Factors of communication skills
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Chivalry Lost in Translation Imagine one day sharing an intimate dinner with an attractive man when the check arrives and suddenly there is an awkward moment, do you go for it? Will he? Or are we going dutch (splitting the check)? In today’s world, men and women struggle with a basic skill: communication, which makes dating and being on the same page impossible. John Gray explains “Women mistakenly expect men to react and behave the way women do, while men continue to misunderstand what women really need” in his book Why Mars & Venus Collide (3). Lack, break down or misunderstanding of communication can make or break any relationship. Let us take a deeper look at this in the dating world. Are men and women from different planets? Do they …show more content…
Allowing men and women to snap an already strained communication setting, where now men and women can feel that it is not important to understand the other gender or how they think, but expect the opposite sex to understand them. A planetary divide seems to be a good explanation as to why men do not openly express their emotions and why they have the same feelings and insecurities yet can conceal them better. Women seeming to be more romantic can be summed up by the romance novel’s idea of the dreamy knight in shining armor every little girl is told will one day sweep her off her feet. Even John Gray believes that is the main reason for gender differences he …show more content…
How are men to react? When a woman is so independent that she is offended by a man opening the door for her or paying for dinner, men are left wondering what role they play. With women waiting until after higher education for marriage and babies, and thinking more like a man about sex, gender roles are confused. In Leslie Mann’s article “Women Say ‘I Do’ to Education, then Marriage”, she says, “you no longer need marriage for sex or to have kids” (616). Then what is dating’s end game, if not to get married? This also changes the rules if the end game is to just have fun; how are you to navigate and know who is out for fun and whose end game is marriage? As a recently single woman joining the dating world, that is old fashioned and also educated but wants marriage as the end game, dating can be daunting. There are too many men that do not have an end game desire, are players (men who bounce from girl to girl and usually only want sex), do not know how to treat a woman properly and plain do not waste time with the formality of small talk. In this world of lies, best foot forward, and mask juggling (being in all your roles and finding balance in your hats), the communication dancing can be so tiring swimming the rocky seas of knowing who to believe, waste time on and learn the steps for, that all you want is a safe harbor. Why Mars & Venus Collide
Deborah Tannen wrote “ Talk in the Intimate Relationship” to help people learn something about how men and women's interactions differ. She is a language scholar and has past experience of failed relationships and she feels as though this was because of lack of communication. Her main focus is on metamessages, these are messages that go beyond what we say. She states that the people that are literal minded, miss out on the context of what communication is. What this essay will consist of being what Tannen calls metamessages, summarizing her article on how men and woman talk, deciding whether Tannen is favorable to both genders and last but not least if I agree to an extent with Tannen says in her article.
Communications generally occur in body languages: how the individuals interpret each other. Her essay is an event that is reoccurring more and more lately. The event results in a failure in marriage. In today’s society more and more people are splitting up or having divorces due to miscommunications. The essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” that Deborah Tannen wrote is much use of today because it explains where miscommunications happen and she has her own studies and research to back it up. The essay goes into depth about her ideologies that cause miscommunications. Look at a miscommunication twice and do not be quick to judge because it will save plenty of
...te when it comes to emotions and each of the female characters are the product of male influences and much of their rage is intermixed with occasional feelings of love due to their lack of self-recognition.
There is a quote that goes "behind every successful man there is a woman”. This implies that the sexes are not credited equally, and gender shadows over success. Men and women are separated not only physically, but in other aspects. A male-dominated culture exists although women are capable of performing just as well as men. There are different situations where men overpower women. There is a stereotype that divides the sexes, ultimately harming both genders. Literary works brush upon the subject of men versus women, touching these components as storyline progresses. There is not a black and white division among the sexes; however, novels such as Geek Love by Dunn and Maus by Spiegelman expose the underlying power struggle among the genders,
...ation of men and women to the reader; we accept the cliché’s and gender-roles as the collective standard.
David Grazian’s study builds on Quinn’s research on men and women's interactions and Grazian finds similar results as Quinn did in her study. In the study of Grazian the performance of both men and women was driven by both genders trying to prove that they are as the audience (society) says they should be. Society has men believing that all women want only one type of man, a masculine man and society has woman believing that men want women who are quite, pretty and live to make their man happy. Both parties in both studies have been fooled by society and they don’t realize or understand
In the novel, women stay behind screens when men are present, and they are expected to put a lot of thought
Do men and women effectively communicate in the same way, or is it just a conversation of misunderstanding? There is constantly a new interest in whether men and women converse successfully. Professor and journalist, Deborah Tannen writes, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” Tannen compares and contrasts all conversational styles, and explains how the expectation of dialogue affects how men and women converse. Tannen focuses on the subject of marriage and the imbalance of interest between male and female couples. The contrasting perspective however comes from, Deborah Cameron, author of, “What Language Barrier”. Cameron conveys that the stereotypes left upon male and female communication
Deborah Tannen is the author of the book You Just Don't Understand where she analyzes the different meanings of communication between men and women. Her research shows that women and men use the same words and phrases and yet can interpret and react to those same words and phrases differently. Tannen compares the two sexes to find men use their conversation as a type of competition or to preserve their independence. For example, men talk about their knowledge regarding sports, cars, women, exc. Meanwhile, women try to foster intimacy through communication. For instance, women often talk and relate on a personal level. Throughout Tannen's book she uses "cross-cultural communication" to describe the differences between the language of men and women. Tannen observed that, "For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with" (Tannen 95).
Why do relationships commonly end in disaster or slowly wither away to nothing? That question could be answered in many ways. Whether the answer lies within the women’s actions, the men’s actions or both, it is something that has been an ongoing occurrence for many years. A valid explanation is that society has different expectations for acceptable male and female behaviors, which ultimately ends is a double standard that ruins relationships. However, another idea that has been more commonly researched in today’s society is that women and men think completely different and just do not understand each other. Steve Harvey’s book, “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man” is a prime example of the assumption that women do not understand how men think or how they feel when it comes to relationships. This book specifically, gives a direct representation of how most men function in relationships and it provides guidelines and advice for women from a man’s perspective about how to have a successful relationship. Furthermore, Steve Harvey’s book also explains many stereotypes that are common in today’s society about relationships and sex.
Interpersonal communication is everywhere in society, both the past, present, and the future. “Marty,” a love story, and a movie made in the fifties, shows many examples of interpersonal communication. In this movie, the main character, Marty, who is a decent, socially awkward man who is pressured by his peers and family to find love and get married. He then gets fed up and goes to a club in town and meets a woman named Claire, who is in similar circumstances to him. Marty and Claire then interact and spend time together and Marty experiences companionship for the first time. As time goes on, Marty’s bachelor friends and his mother are expressing their disapproval of Claire. Marty then gets angry with everyone, and tells them all I like here and I have a good thing going and he does not want it to be messed up. Although the movie ends on a cliffhanger note, the assumption is that Marty and Claire will keep courting and they will hopefully get married.
During the early 20th Century, courtship began to take place outside of the home, and although the strict formalities of the dating game were generally loosened, many new conventions were impose...
...a meaningful communication to take place. In conclusion, there are differences between men and women that go beyond social nurture. These differences have their origin in their genes. The differences evident in men and women are translated in their behavior and communication. There are possibilities of these differences in their turn raising the problem of failing to understand one another because in a communication men and women have a different set of expectations from each other. It is essential to understand and appreciate these differences for a meaningful communication to take place.
When you see a man who is hurt or in pain a realistic answer instead consoling him would be " be a MAN, stop being such a GIRL." Now if a woman was hurt, an instinctual thing to do is ask " are you okay? or do you need help?" Why do we have such differences. What’s really happening between women and men in contemporary society? Society loves to say "You’ve come a long way, baby" whenever an individual woman rises to the top of a "male" profession. It also enjoys turning househusbands into afternoon talk show guests. Throughout history, women have had the misfortune of being labeled as “the other” to men. According to many philosophers, women are the second sex. This idea of women as the second sex is fueled by the notion that the feminine is a mistake, and that masculinity is the correct approach to life. This idea has even been given a new name recently: androcentrism. Androcentrism is a new kind of sexism that, rather than just favoring men over women, favors masculinity over feminist universally. In Paradise, Toni Morrison shows through her style of writing and the way she sets up the chapters shows different images of how men in the town of Ruby are oppressing these women in the convents.
relationship problems between men and women because of the fundamental psychological differences between them. The author represents men and women from two different planets. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This book also states the difference of values of men's and