Being Raised In A Big Family

Having been raised in a big family had its ups and downs. I was always surrounded by my someone which was awesome, always having my cousins to play with was definitely a plus, but so was it the downside. Always being surrounded by someone else can become annoying. Sharing was a big thing too. And as can be imagined, as kids sharing can become challenging at times. Not only am I talking about material possessions but the affection and attention of others. Especially of our grandmother. She was and she is a mother to us and was such a major influence in our upbringing.
Being the youngest in this tremendous family of mine was tough for me for the reason that I felt there wasn't much attention to go around for all of us. I was raised by my grandmother, and so was my

brother as well as four of my cousins. And unlike a typical family, where by the end of the day, everybody gets up and go to their own home, we were stuck with each other, living in the same house. I cannot recall the exact amount of people living in our home, not that I was too young to count, however it was at different stages that uncles and aunts lived with us along with their kids, to add to the coziness. It wasn't a crowded home, although it wasn't an empty one either. Compared to the average home, it was particularly big though.
It was a love and hate relationship, the one I had with my cousins.

At least it was with the cousins I did spend most of the time with, not that we had a choice since we lived together. Them, being all around the same age and being a little bit older than I. They would occasionally see it as a nuisance to include me in their games. I am somewhat ashamed to say I was the crybaby of the bunch. I was on most occasions very much emotional in return of feeling left out or not taking into consideration. On top of having all cousins around for most of time, my grandma would watch other people's children for a living. It's left to say our house was like a playground. I can't recall a time in my childhood where I can say I was ever alone, except for the times when my cousins and I would play hide and seek and they would, so conveniently forget to search for me. Considering all that, they were still my best friends, and of the day they still are although we might not be as close as when we were kids. I had the best of times growing up with cousins, I consider them my sisters. The moments we shared where we got along, I can say are the moments that I cherish and remember the most to this

day.
If I could go back, I would not change a thing. The best memories I have of my childhood are the ones where I was surrounded by my family. As a grown up, now I yearn for those times, where anywhere I looked, there was always someone there. Now it's an entirely different story because as we all grew up, so did we grew apart. Now I think to myself, how come then, I wanted the type of life I have now, but now, I want the life I had then. It's bewildering to me, see how life works. Being a mother I would love to see my precious baby have the same childhood I had because even though I faced some not so exaggerated challenges, but still challenges I still enjoyed that part of my life and it also made me who I am now.