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Ashley Merryman, who is the co-author of Nurture Shock (NY Times, Oct. 2016), in “Forget Trophies, Let Kids Know It’s O.K. to Lose”, argues that it is absolutely all right for kids to fail and that their downfall can lead to victory worth more than a meaningless trophy. I passionately agree. Merryman begins her argument by stating that more harm comes from rewarding children regardless of their success. Merryman contends that our society has integrated a social system that teaches children losing is unacceptable. She refers to a recent study that supports her statement and concludes that children adhere to their parents’ perspectives on failure and success. She asserts that in not giving kids a trophy, they will learn the life lesson to …show more content…
The manner in which a kid’s parents react to failure, as she says, is “as crucial as celebrating their success.” The first step to allowing children to realize it is completely fine to lose is having a positive attitude as their superior and guardian. Children look up to and imitate their parents’ actions and beliefs. If parents accept failure as a way to succeed and enhance their skills, then their child will believe the same perspective. Sarah’s parents, wildly upset when her Little League team lost to their rivals, rambled to her about all his errors. They didn’t accept failure as a stepping stone to achievement. Adhered to her parent’s same perspective, Sarah viewed defeat as a weakness. Thinking less of her capability, she didn’t bother practicing to better his performance. At the start of the next season, she didn’t sign up for any sports and became depressed. A kid’s self-esteem plays a vital role in the development of their skills and success. The perspective in which a child views herself affects her effort and performance. Trophies are seen “as vindication” or a justification towards children who have already developed a high-self-esteem. They feel it is what they deserve, which serves as evidence of how great they already view themselves. Participation trophies that aren’t deserved hinder a child’s esteem and effort even more. The praise that wasn’t particularly earned gravitates their minds towards …show more content…
Children definitely gain more from their realizing their mistakes, than receiving underserved praise through a trophy. She contends that “we must focus on process and progress, not results and rewards.” “The Karate Kid,” a memorable film for generations, features various morals to kids all across the globe. Its story line casts an unskilled child, foreign to China, trying to learn the tedious technique of karate. Although he goes through pain and tremendous failure, he realizes his mistakes and learns through his defeat. With the help of his encouraging mentor, he masters karate with beautiful skill. Through his failure, he acknowledged his faults in order to surpass them. The material rewards were meaningless compared to his feeling of self-triumph. A child doesn’t “need manufactured praise” as a reward if their skill is already mastered. He doesn’t need to be given a trophy to know he succeeded; instead, his learned skill is worth more. The feeling of accomplishing and developing his abilities is far more impactful to a child “than any trophy” has to offer. Mathew, a joyful junior, was on the junior varsity basketball team. After several weeks of practice, he finally developed the skill to communicate with his team mates. He had always received meaningless trophies, but the feeling of mastering the skill himself was truly meaningful. His
When the coach turned his head, the seven-year-old stuck a finger down his throat and made himself vomit. When the coach fumed back, the boy pointed to the ground and told him, “Yes, there it is, Coach. See?” (Tosches A33).It emphasizes the fact that if a child gets hurt once, they will fear the possibility of getting hurt again ,so they try to find excuses to prevent themselves from playing the game.Second,Statsky states how competitive adults have drained the fun out of children's sports and made the game unappealing for children.She cites Martin Rablovsky, a former sports editor for the New York Times says that in all his years of watching young children play organized sports, he has noticed very few of them smiling. “I’ve seen children enjoying a spontaneous pre-practice scrimmage become somber and serious when the coach’s whistle blows,” Rablovsky says. “The spirit of play suddenly disappears, and sport becomes job-like” (qtd in Coakley 94). It shows the fact that competitive adults are oblivious to their actions and don't notice that what they are doing can really affect a child mentally.Third, Statsky is concerned that competitive sports will lower a child's self-esteem and make them lack confidence.’’Like adults, children fear failure, and so even those with good physical skills may stay away because they lack
To illustrate, Ashley Merryman, the author of the article “Losing is Good for You” states, “ However, when it comes to rewards, people argue that kids must be treated identically: everyone must always win. That is misguided. And there are negative outcomes. Not for just specific children, but for society as a whole.” This explains that when kids get trophies, they think that they are always going to win, no matter how poorly they did their job. This can cause major problems in the society, such as companies not improving. In addition, Ashley Merryman also states, “ Having studied recent increases in narcissism [having an excessive interest in oneself; an over inflated ego often due to parents’ overvaluation] and entitlement among college students, she [Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me] warns that when living rooms are filled with participation trophies, it’s part of a larger cultural message: to succeed, you just have to show up.” This shows that even young kids are starting to be egoistic, and that can stick with them their entire life. When kids will go into the real world, it would be too late to realize that winning is not important. As a result, narcissism increases in the kids and makes them
It is ok for children to lose and for them to learn from it. Merryman says, “It’s teaching them it can take a long time to get good at something and that’s alright” (Merryman). Children learn from failure, it teaches them that it takes time and patience to get good at something. Merryman also says, “It’s through hard work and mistakes that we learn the most. We must focus on process and progress, not results and rewards” (Merryman). It takes hard work to win, Children should focus on getting better, not on rewards. Children need to learn that to win it takes hard work and time, they should focus on improving, not on getting participation trophies.
Thirteen-year-old Jordan Walker has been receiving participation trophies since she was five. When she was six she was on a basketball team. All she did was run up and down the court; she didn’t even touch the ball. She got participation trophies and loss motivation. Now she doesn’t play sports. Giving every kid a trophy was a movement that started in California in the eighties to build children’s self-esteem. This has since backfired causing kids to become arrogant and narcissistic. Trophies should only be given to the people who worked the hardest and played the best to give the trophy meaning, to make kids realize they can’t win every time, and to give the kids something worth working hard for.
Why do we get participation trophies. If you are in a sport and your team loses all of its games, but you still get a trophy than deep down you will not be proud of that trophy, it will just bring back bad memories. If you do not feel like you earned the trophy than you will not get any sense of success and accomplishment when you look at it because you would know that you did not deserve it. When someone is given a prize for failing they will not be ready for they real world because they will be used to being a winner even though they really were a loser. In the real world everyone is trying to be top dog, they do not care if you fail as long as they succeed. Everyone has to be prepared to lose and to bounce back from it, because they will
There are numerous reasons why participation trophies are harmful to young children’s well-being. As said by NFL linebacker James Harrison, “When children get participation trophies they think that they are always entitled to an award for doing your best.” (Website #2). Sometimes a child’s best effort isn’t always enough and they should always want to get better. Kids learn to believe
Naturally, some children are better at sports than others. On a team which does not give out participation trophies, but gives out trophies for hitting the farthest or running the fastest, the child who does not fall into any of those categories can be left feeling useless and inadequate. A child who gives 100% and dosent get rewarded for it is more likely to give up the sport completely than if he were to be given a trophy for engaging and participating. Also, when every child receives a trophy, it can be used to teach the importance of teamwork and the necessity of every individual on a team, not just the talented ones. Every child receiving a participation trophy weaves a common thread throughout the team to hold it together.
Imagine this, you had a difficult game against a rival team, but were able to prevail against them. You would think that the best on the team, you, would get the trophy for winning the game for your team and that you would be celebrated. Think again, as everyone is given a trophy, even the one kid who continued to mess everyone else up and almost lost you the game. What kind of message does it send to kids when they are given a trophy for doing nothing? It breeds contempt and a mentality of expectancy. Henceforth, this stands as reason as to why participation trophies should not be an idea.
Being left out from receiving a participation trophy can effect a child’s self-esteem. When kids work hard for something and get recognition they essentially feel good about themselves. That can also be said about the opposite effect. Not enough or none at all recognition can make a child feel like they’re not good enough. Which leaves the child with a damaged self-esteem.
Being rewarded for their mistakes is going to get them nowhere in life that is like working somewhere and them paying you to mess up, or for not being able to do your job right. A lot of kids these days are mentally soft and they cannot really take anyone yelling at them so that is another reason why some kids do not want to play sports because of the coaches. Most coaches are volunteer coaches because their kids play on the team, so that sets a fell back because “special treatment.” Trophies are handed out like candy these days, it does not matter who you are or how you
When I was six years old, I played on an extremely bad soccer team. That year we won one single game. Nobody knew how to shoot, dribble, or pass. Yet somehow my team kept winning trophies. They weren’t anything special; just a soccer ball with the words, “What Matters is You Had Fun!” It didn’t matter if we won or lost because we always got these trophies, trophies for participating. Many people believe that participation trophies are a good thing for children, but all they do is make children think that they always win. Participation trophies are a negative thing for kids.
To conclude, participation trophies should not be given out to kids in school sports. They can bring down self-confidence, encourage athletes to try harder by not giving them out, and they take away the glory of actually
Kids nowadays are getting smarter and smarter as technology continues to improve and as the amount of content being taught in school increases. Even though they might feel good about getting a trophy or if it raises their self esteem maybe they don't know what the participation trophy truly means but they will start to think about what they did on the team to deserve that trophy. Some may find reasons to explain why they got this trophy but others may not be able to and it will start to motivate the kid next time to stand out on the team and make something of himself to prove that he is better than just some participation trophy. Many kids also know the difference between a participation trophy and a real trophy and what either means or symbolizes
First, Ashley Merryman states, “In June, an Oklahoma Little League canceled participation trophies because of a budget shortfall. A furious parent complained to a local reporter,”’My look forward to their trophy as much as playing the game.’” This expresses how much a trophy is worth for an athlete, but usually it is playing the game that matters and not getting the trophies. In addition, Jean Twenge, author of “Generation Me” also states,“Having studied recent increases in narcissism (having an excessive interest in oneself; an over-inflated ego often due to parents’ overvaluation) and entitlement among college students, she warns that when living rooms are filled with participation trophies, it is part of a larger cultural message...” This fabricates narcissism in young athletes as well as college students. In short, narcissism and selfishness can affect
Scientists and psychologists argue that rewarding effort is beneficial because it provides positive reinforcement. Nowadays the norm is to hand out trophies to everyone on youth sports teams as long as they're on the roster. This is controversial because some believe this teaches kids that losing is okay because they will still get rewarded. This is incorrect because losing is okay and there are more important influences to a child's development. This shows why we should continue awarding kids with participation trophies in youth sports.