Sadie,
I enjoy the way you write. It is clear, concise, and you remain aligned within your thesis. I think you do a great job running the king through Frye’s different archetypes. However, in that section you clump Aristotle in the middle of your Frye explanation. I would keep the Aristotle info in the essay because it is relevant. However, I think it would flow better if you introduced Aristotle in the beginning of your Frye section. Explain how Frye is walking in his footsteps. Also, later in the essay you introduce catharsis, but do not give a good explanation.
A couple of stylistic things that I noticed is that you use the word thus many times. I think sometimes you take that word out of context and need to use it when it is necessary.
In the year 1625, Francis Bacon, a famous essayist and poet wrote about the influences of fear on everyday life. He stated, “Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other” (Essays Dedication of Death). Clearly, external surroundings affect perceptions of fear as well as human nature in general. Although C.S. Lewis published the novel, Out of the Silent Planet, over three centuries after Bacon wrote his theory on fear, Lewis similarly portrayed external surrounding to manipulate perceptions of fear. From the first chapter of the novel, Lewis revealed fear to be a weakness that leads to ignorance. It was this ignorance that apparently fueled the cycle of corruption and immorality on “The Silent Planet.” Using the character Ransom to reveal the effect of memory and morality on fear, C.S. Lewis demonstrates that fear is a quality of the “bent” race (humans), and only by eliminating fear in our lives can the human race become hnau.
In the essay “Everything Now” Signs of Life in the USA: Readings on Popular Culture for Writers, author Steve McKevitt blames our unhappiness on having everything we need and want, given to us now. While his writing is compelling, he changes his main point as his conclusion doesn’t match his introduction. He uses “want versus need” (145) as a main point, but doesn’t agree what needs or wants are, and uses a psychological theory that is criticized for being simplistic and incomplete. McKevitt’s use of humor later in the essay doesn’t fit with the subject of the article and comes across almost satirical. Ultimately, this essay is ineffective because the author’s main point is inconsistent and poorly conveyed.
In his book “Between the World and Me”, Ta-Nehisi Coates explores what it means to be a black body living in the white world of the United States. Fashioned as a letter to his son, the book recounts Coates’ own experiences as a black man as well as his observations of the present and past treatment of the black body in the United States. Weaving together history, present, and personal, Coates ruminates about how to live in a black body in the United States. It is the wisdom that Coates finds within his own quest of self-discovery that Coates imparts to his son.
In William Zinnser’s essay “Simplicity” he states that “clear thinking becomes clear writing; one can’t exist without the other.” He believes that people speak more complexly then they have to and that the key to good writing and speaking is simplicity. In his argument he goes on to say that often writers are not careful enough. They know what they are trying to say but do not know how to put it down on paper. They assume that the reader will understand what they are thinking even though their writing is not obvious to others. He does make several suggestions for improvement. Very easily one could make their writing easier to understand by simple corrections.
...reads this text, it will be clear to them that I care about and understand the topic Word ChoiceMy words are specific and correctly used so my readers will know exactly what I meanAll of my words and phrases are natural, effective, and appropriate; some of them are also memorable and powerful Sentence FluencyMy sentences are put together well and in a way that enhances the meaningI use a variety of sentence lengths and structures in my workWhen I read my work out loud, it flows well and has rhythm ConventionsI have reviewed my spelling, capitalization, and punctuation for correctnessMy grammar , paragraphing, and usage are correct and help me define my style while also communicating clearly PresentationThe formatting suits the purpose of the workI use the appropriate amount of white space on the pageI use appropriate fonts, font size, titles, and headingWord Count:
This essay earned a 89/100. it was a lot of work considering the lines from macbeth for textual support.
There are many meanings inside stories; “Gregory” by Panos Ioannides is a heart-wrenching short story that follows the protagonist through the execution of his friend. E.M. Forster explains a want to keep friendships strong even at the expense of one’s relation to one’s country. The main character in “Gregory”' has multiple thoughts showing a tie to what Foster explained, as well as the internal fight that happens when one has two forces pulling at one. The Narrator wants to follow his gut and skirt tragedy, but in the end he wants to save himself from his superiors.
Here I have a comparison of my quotation using in my prior essay and recent one, between final draft of Singer Position paper and my rewritten of it. It can clearly show us the difference between them and the improvement I have made. First, in the final draft of Singer Position paper, I did not do well in the organization, format and explanation of a quotation. I wrote，“ What’s more, Singer holds an opinion which is that living high and letting die. As what the end of the story Bob says, ' The child is killed. For many years to come, Bob enjoys owning his Bugatti and the financial security it represents.' In such short words, Singer greatly satirizes Bob’s behavior which is heinous. It is possible to say that Singer feels a little bit helpless about human’s nature. He pointed out that selfish gradually change and control people’s mind.” I show the original sentence and analyze that Bob who is character in the reading material did a wrong decision for his selfish. However, the most important thing I lost is to rephrase the original sentence. Also, the format is terrible. I even forgot write down the page number. On the other hand, I decided to ask my instructor if I can rewrite it, I began to write a quotati...
endure in order to make it to the final goal. This is alluded to in
A few days later a woman died while giving birth to a child. A diviner
organization, and word choice. All other essays were critiqued by my peers. With the help of
During this school year I have learned a lot. My writing has evolved in the following ways. It was changed in the way that I don’t write as scatterbrained as I use to. My process as changed in the way that I think gives a better final project. And I found something that I think is interesting about my writing. So without further delay let's take a look.
Overall the direction is clear, it seemed that the flow was a little off. I didn't see a thesis statement. By creating a solid thesis statement with 3 main points, the main point paragraphs
I enjoyed writing the analysis paper because I got to discover why Donald Trump is such a popular political candidate. It was fun to watch how crazy his tweets could get. I also enjoyed writing this essay because I felt like I grew a lot from last semester. Last semester, I never had a clear process or clear idea before I started writing my first draft. This essay I worked through my ideas and was not afraid to share them with others. In all writing classes before this I was very shy about my writing and I am trying to get away from that so that I can get help and make my essays better. I think that by trying to reach out and be more open about my ideas, I was able to make my writing a lot better.
I have discovered several weaknesses. One of which is my use of transitional phrases, or lack thereof. After reading the constructive criticism on my paper. I started to look at it a little more critical. Therefore, I believe that with practice and a lot more reading I can help approve upon this.