Annie John Research Paper

The Search for Self in Annie John
Every person that lives to adulthood has gone through the stereotypical teenage phase: the sudden change in personality that causes every mother in the world to throw up her hands in exasperation. Because growing up is a such a relatable experience, countless pieces of literature have touched upon it, from Peter Pan to A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. A constant topic in all these books is change, due to the fact that coming of age is the maturing of a person from a child into a teenager into an adult. Another work that deals with change is Annie John, by Jamaica Kincaid, which tells the story of Annie’s growth from a ten year old to a seventeen year old in a series of loosely chronological anecdotes. A theme that

is developed throughout the novel is that as children grow into individuals, they try to leave the influences of their parents behind.

During the beginning of Annie John, before Annie starts to develop her own self, she is very close to her mother and relies on her to learn how to act. An example of this comes while Annie and her mother were shopping together. “I spent the day following my mother and observing the way she did everything” (Kincaid 15) is how Annie describes herself. The phrase “following my mother” shows that Annie is dependent on her mother, or else Annie would have roamed freely. The word ‘observing’ in the quote connotes that the information gathered from the observation would be used, implying that Annie would take the actions of her mother as a model for her own decisions. Together, this shows that Annie is reliant on her mother and uses her as a role model, at least while shopping. Though the quote referred to that one outing, it could also be

used as an analogy for how Annie acts in regards to her mother during her childhood. When Annie describes her mother, she says, “... I found her beautiful. Her head looked as if it should be on a sixpence. What a beautiful long neck ... Her mouth ... was such a beautiful mouth I could have looked at it forever if I had to and not mind” (Kincaid 18-19). In the quote, the word ‘beautiful’ was used three separate times, emphasizing the opinion Annie holds of her mother’s physical appearance. In addition, because Annie thinks that her mother’s head “should be on a sixpence”, it signals the degree to which Annie admires her mother, as only the most important of people are placed on currency. It is during this period of time that Annie describes her life as, “It was in such a paradise that I lived” (Kincaid 25). The word ‘paradise’ connotes a utopia, giving away Annie’s contentment.
During Annie’s feud with her mother, she is attempting to leave behind her old identity and, therefore, her mother.

The beginning of the hostility between Annie and her mother develops when her mother tells her, “‘... It’s time you had your own clothes. You just cannot go around the rest of your life looking like a little me’” (Kincaid 26). Prior to this, Annie and her mother have shared the same material for their dresses, but from this quote, it implies that in the future, they can not always appear identical. This can be applied to a larger sense, which is that Annie can’t always share the same life as her mother, whom she shares the same baths, trunk, physical features, and even the same name with. This revelation is shocking to Annie, who takes it very seriously, later declaring, “I was sure I could never let those hands touch me again; I was sure I could never let her kiss me again. All that was finished” (Kincaid 31-32). Before this decision, Annie still attempted to be close to her mother, only to be rebuffed. The fact that Annie says ‘let’ in reference to her mother touching her or kissing her only stresses the enormity of Annie’s resolution; not only will her mother never physically contact her again, Annie would not even allow it. With this, Annie begins to do things that her mother disapproves of, including the befriending of the Red Girl and playing marbles. These defiances are ways for Annie to detach herself from her mother, but it also gives Annie a way to

find her individuality, because they clearly distinguish Annie from her mother.
The end of Annie’s sickness is the beginning of when she is completely independent on herself, and her departure from Antigua is symbolic of her leaving behind both her childhood and parents. Annie’s illness comes just after Annie and her mother exchange verbal blows, and Annie asks her father to make a new trunk. This is significant, because the previous trunk belonged to her mother, and the request for a separate one symbolizes another break in their relationship. Afterwards, Annie says, “... I became frightened. For I could not be sure whether for the rest of my life I would be able to tell when it was really my mother and when it was really her shadow standing between me and the rest of the world” (Kincaid 107) The fact that Annie sees her mother as a barrier stresses the tension between the two. In the context of the theme, her mother is the barrier stopping Annie from becoming own self rather than the miniature of her mother. After Annie’s illness, she grows taller than her mother, and develops a persona that is far removed from her previous personality, representing the final withdrawal from her former character. Before Annie departs from Antigua, she thinks, “I could have left without saying any goodbyes to them and I wouldn’t have missed it” (Kincaid 137). The use of the words ‘I wouldn’t have missed it’ highlights that Annie is totally prepared to leave her birthplace without any regrets. In a town where her entire childhood was deeply intertwined with aspects of the town itself, Annie is not only leaving a geographical location, she is also putting an entire chapter of her life and its participants behind.
Without the conflict that Annie has with her mother, she would not have become the woman that left Antigua with looking back. Despite that Annie became her own person, with ideals and goals separate from that of her mother, she still played a role in the development of Annie’s identity. Though children ultimately parts ways from the people who raised them, the impact that they have on their children is not so easily erased. The unique sculpture of individuality that children become still have the fingerprints of their parents left behind.