APOLOGIES Suicide Note by Janice Mirikitani, is a heartbreaking poem of a young woman who commits suicide. All of her feelings and emotions are left behind in her last note. As thoughts of not feeling worthy enough over take this young girl, she writes her final thoughts and apologies to her mother and father. As such a catastrophic event happens Mirikitani’s use of metaphors and descriptive writing take you to the young girl’s final moments. Making you wish you could reach out and stop her from jumping off the ledge that icy winter night. The young girl is full of not feeling good enough and being overly critical of herself. In line three you see her self-doubt come out with her writing “not good enough not pretty enough not smart enough.” …show more content…
In line ten she writes “if only I were a son, shoulders broad”. Is something her parents said to her to make her feel this way, or maybe it was that they didn’t praise her accomplishments at an early age. Mirikitani’s own background may have some justification on these statements of self-loathing. As in Schaefer 2 many Asian families being born a girl isn’t always a good thing. As we read in lines thirteen and fourteen she states “the golden pride reflected in my father’s dream.” Did her self-loathing begin long before she wrote this note? As the girl grows older she tries to overcome the initial disappointment of being born a girl by trying to over compensate in her life. Even in her accomplishments she never seems to find praise, all that stands out are her failures. Sometimes making mountains out of mole hills in her failures. As stated in line twenty-five “each failure, a glacier”. Lines twenty-six thru twenty-eight seem to describe more of those epic failures “So I have worked hard. Not good enough” lines twenty-nine and thirty go back to her feelings of doubt and depression. Many times the person depressed learns to mask those feelings of self-doubt. No one sees those signs of depression until it is too
In the non-fictional book, The Samurai’s Garden by Gail Tsukiyama and the fictional poem, “ The Suicide Note” by Janice Mirikitani has character(s) that lose something valuable. From both book and poem I can related to the loss that I have endured during my life. However, the loss of both are different for The Samurai’s Garden, Matsu loss her sister from leprosy and Sachi loss her best friend. In “The Suicide Note” the Asian-American student’s family loss their daughter because they think she was never good enough.
She sees her father old and suffering, his wife sent him out to get money through begging; and he rants on about how his daughters left him to basically rot and how they have not honored him nor do they show gratitude towards him for all that he has done for them (Chapter 21). She gives into her feelings of shame at leaving him to become the withered old man that he is and she takes him in believing that she must take care of him because no one else would; because it is his spirit and willpower burning inside of her. But soon she understands her mistake in letting her father back into he life. "[She] suddenly realized that [she] had come back to where [she] had started twenty years ago when [she] began [her] fight for freedom. But in [her] rebellious youth, [she] thought [she] could escape by running away. And now [she] realized that the shadow of the burden was always following [her], and [there she] stood face to face with it again (Chapter 21)." Though the many years apart had changed her, made her better, her father was still the same man. He still had the same thoughts and ways and that was not going to change even on his death bed; she had let herself back into contact with the tyrant that had ruled over her as a child, her life had made a complete
Previously, the narrator has intimated, “She had all her life long been accustomed to harbor thoughts and emotions which never voiced themselves. They had never taken the form of struggles. They belonged to her and were her own.” Her thoughts and emotions engulf her, but she does not “struggle” with them. They “belonged to her and were her own.” She does not have to share them with anyone; conversely, she must share her life and her money with her husband and children and with the many social organizations and functions her role demands.
...ltimately makes the young girl feel that she will break underneath all the pressure she is placed upon by her peers. Inevitably it seems that Judith Ortiz Cofer used similes in order to connect both the act of maturing to a much more somber factor which have reinforced the tenor of the poem.
"Suicide, what a terrible concept. There are two types of suicide: physical, and theoretical. Physical suicide is the more commonly heard type of suicide. It entails the person actually, physically killing himself or herself. On the other hand, theoretical suicide is when the person does something that will, in turn, get him or her killed. For example, in “All About Suicide” by Luisa Valenzuela, Ismael, a man that works at a minister’s office, murders the minister, a high-ranking public official. Ismael has been forced to be quiet by the government; therefore he lashes out by killing the minister so that he can reveal the truth about the government. In doing this, Ismael technically “kills himself” because he knows the government will eventually find him and execute him. The theme of this story is that quite often, the truth is misconstrued or is hidden from the public. In order to reveal the truth, action must be taken to bring the truth to the people. Valenzuela reveals this theme through flashbacks, pronoun usage, and imagery.
Before her first words she is already considered a disappointment, “a girl child is Mo Yung- useless” (32). From the time she is born, her grandmother, “the old one” (choy), relentlessly tells her how the world will treat her as a girl. She explains to Jook-Liang, ‘“If you want a place in this world… ‘do not be born a girl child’”(31). She is cast aside before she is given a chance and is never given the same opportunities as her brothers. Instead she is forced to help take care of her little brother (insert quote). The excitement surrounding a baby is always extreme, and it doubles in Chinese culture when that baby is a boy. When her little brother is born, she is truly considered to be nothing in the family. “ I recalled how Sekky had received twice the number of jade and gold bracelets that I had got as a baby, and how everyone at the baby banquet toasted his arrival and how only the woman noticed me in my new dress, and then only for a few minutes to compare Poh Poh and step mother’s embroidery”(32). She is a ghost in her own family, and treated as nothing from the moment she is born. It is because of her gender that she is looked upon as a burden and never given the same opportunities as her brothers so that she may excel in life. Through the shadowed life of Jook Liang one can see how gender roles are enforced by cultural
was that he wished she had been a boy. Her high hope of working with her husband
In the second stanza, Piercy describes the girl as healthy, intelligent, and strong (7-8). Yet these positive equalities alone, could not keep people from criticizing her, so the girl feels inferior. “She went to and fro apologizing,” which demonstrates her collapse of confidence with the people she is surrounded with, who kept putting her down (10). She gives in to the hurtful things people say about her: “Everyone [kept] seeing a fat nose on thick legs” (11). The girl thus lets people push her in the direction of society’s standard of beauty, instead of affirming her own unique beauty.
At this point of the story it is reflective of a teenager. A teenager is at a time in life where boundaries and knowledge is merely a challenging thing to test and in some instances hurdled. Where even though you may realize the responsibilities and resources you have, there is still a longing for the more sunny feelings of youth.
she was pretty and that was everything” (225). This captivation with herself along with the constant looking in the mirrors and thinking her mother was only pestering her all the time because her mother’s own good looks were long gone by now (225) shows a sign of immaturity because she believes everything revolves around whether or not someo...
These lines demonstrate the stage of adulthood and the daily challenges that a person is faced with. The allusions in the poem enrich the meaning of the poem and force the reader to become more familiar with all of the meaning hidden behind the words. For example, she uses words such as innocence, imprisonment and captive to capture the feelings experienced in each of the stages. The form of the poem is open because there are no specific instances where the lines are similar. The words in each stanza are divided into each of the three growth stages or personal experiences.
...alized that “a girl was not, as [she] had supposed, simply what [she] was; it was what [she] had to become” she was starting to admit defeat, and then finally when she begins to cry, it is here that the narrator understands that there is no escape from the pre-determined duties that go along with the passage of a child into being a girl, and a girl into a woman, and that “even in her heart. Maybe it (her understanding that conforming is unstoppable) was true”
confused and immature lady; she doesn't know what or who she wants in her life. She mentions
Additionally, the main character, Alaska, relates to the world because she is a girl that lives a hard life and is depressed on the inside, yet she still manages to have a smile on her face. Many people in the world are going through very hard times, however, they still manage to be happy or they try to give the appearance that they’re happy. Personally, I can relate to Alaska Young’s situation, after losing my grandma and uncle to illness a couple of months ago, I am faced with tremendous amounts of depression and deep sadness. However, on the outside, I tend to have a smile on my face and I don’t show others how I truly feel deep down on the inside. Alaska does this for a while and she slowly starts to feel as happy as she is on the outside, on the inside.
Often times when I heard the word "suicidal" I was curiously caused the person to do it. Growing up, I heard that people decided to commit suicide was because they "wanted attention, they wanted the easy way out, they were weak, they couldn't handle life, etc." Personally, I have significant people in my life that have felt like they wanted to commit suicide. So, this topic honestly is a difficult, yet, emotional one to discuss.