The Silence and Domestic Violence Domestic violence might seem like a foreign subject to most. Maybe we are familiar with the victims through television or movies. The all to real truth is domestic violence is still gathering victims. In Somebody Must Say These Things: An Essay for My Mother, Melody Graulich explores her own experiences. Graulich tells of a man’s man, her grandfather. A self-identified pioneer whom on opposing days is comparable to “Geronimo” and “Sitting Bull” (Graulich, 202), both icons of the American West. What initially appears as a folk hero, quickly becomes a violent tragedy. A man who has married four times and consistently beats his wives. The only reprieve was when his wife was pregnant and he moved his attention to his elder daughter (Graulich, 204). Graulich explores how she identifies with her folk hero grandfather and is ashamed by the thought of her mother or grandmother. Her feminist views won’t allow her to appear weak or submissive. For thousand of years, men have lived promiscuous, abusive, and violent lives. In most all of these situations, women have been the victims. Graulich explores what is probably a more common attitude than what you might believe, my mother is weak and my father is strong. As a society, we want to identify with the stronger person. If we …show more content…
identify or empathize with the victim, we believe that we must also be a victim. Graulich states, “the cause for their brutality lies in societies attitude about women and marriage.” This is profound for even if we don’t identify or commit the abuse, we are still responsible for it being permissible behavior. I thought I might struggle with Graulich’s views when she identified as a feminist. I quickly was appalled by the lack of empathy she showed her mother and grandmother. Her evolution throughout her essay was best stated when she realized that this story had a “silenced person, her mother” (Graulich, 208). In the past few years, multiple domestic violence issues have been highlighted by the media. The NFL is finally taking a stand (thought not a strong enough one) on what is still impacting one/third of women in America (Izadi). Where science has attempted to understand the impact on domestic violence in the male children of an abusive home, they have not come close to understanding the mental impact it has on those women in that home (Graulich, 209.) Graulich states, “male aggression affects a daughters complex identification with and resistance to her mother’s life.” These women are quite possibly seeking out violent men as partners. These women are unable to identify with their mother out of fear of becoming their mother. A backwards mentality that is only exacerbated by the secret that is kept about the violence. It’s a secret due to the level of shame that these victims feel. The title to this essay is only appropriate because Graulich begins to try to identify with her mother and grandmother.
It is only through her reconciliation is she able to realize that “resistance is more costly” (Graulich, 211). There are national organizations attempting to bring these women and say something. The video of Ray Rice punching his girlfriend out in an elevator should have brought a national awakening. Unfortunately, the victims stay silent and the rest of us move on. We must also reconcile our feelings about the victims, even if it wasn’t our own mother. The scared will stay silent if the rest don’t become a somebody that must say these
things. Works Cited Graulcih, Melody. "Somebody Must Say These Things: An Essay to My Mother." The Curious Reader: Exploring Personal and Academic Inquiry. Comp. Bruce P. Ballenger and Michelle Payne. 2nd ed. New York: Pearson/Longman, 2006. 201-12. Print. Izadi, Elahe. "Nearly a Third of U.S. Women Have Experienced Domestic Violence." Washington Post. The Washington Post, 8 Sept. 2014. Web. 03 May 2016.
Domestic violence has been plaguing our society for years. There are many abusive relationships, and the only question to ask is: why? The main answer is control. The controlling characteristic that males attribute to their masculinity is the cause to these abusive relationships. When males don’t have control they feel their masculinity is threatened and they need to do something about it. This doesn’t occur in just their relationships, but rather every facet of life. Men are constantly in a struggle for power and control whether it is at work, home, during sports, or in a relationship, this remains true. So the only way for them to get this power is for them to be “men”; tough, strong, masculine, ones that demand and take power. Where is this thirst for control coming from? Is it the natural structure of a man or is it a social construct? The answer is that it’s the social construction of a patriarchy that results in this thirst for control due to fear. The fear is being emasculated, whether it is by gayness, or femininity. Men use the fear created from domestic violence to gain control, but yet women do have some control in a relationship it is this vague boundary of how much control that leads to domestic violence.
Learned helplessness can be applied to help explain why a woman would stay in an abusive relationship, or explain a woman’s sense of “psychological paralysis” (Schuller & Rzepa, 2002). This is because of the repetitive and unpredictable nature of the violence, woman are reduced to a state of continual fear, leav...
Hunnicutt illustrated that the concept of patriarchy is a useful tool in the theory of feminism. She also made use the concept of patriarchy to show how it can be employed to explain violence against women in society. Hunnicutt’s article presents an alternative way to understand violence against women by employing patriarchy as a core theoretical concept. Hunnicutt believed that in the society, women are typically oppressed and men also have been historically dominant over them, and most times it results to violence against these women. Hunnicutt stated that the theories of violence against women mostly focus on male power but via situating that power within a patriarchal order. This article is important to the topic of feminism because for its theoretical background to help ground my
Like child abuse, it affects every American by impacting those we love the most. Awareness for domestic violence victims has evolved since the beginning of our country. In earlier times, it was a private matter, and took place “behind closed doors”. They helped them past their sufferings and place them back into mainstream culture. (Karmen, 2015) Claims one movement that assisted with the process is the Feminist Movement. This widespread movement took place during the 1970’s, and represented the “beaten women”. It helped them stand up for themselves during their distraught times. Domestic tranquility ensures women their safety at home under their husbands’ protection. The Feminist’s Movement questioned domestic tranquility and urged women to stand up for themselves (Karmen, 2015). They discovered the “silent crisis” that lived inside so many women at the time. The crisis was that the men they married gave into the times of “behind closed doors” and “look the other way”. Those times would stand no more, due to the feminist’s movement and widespread awareness. Laws and legislation have changed since the rediscovery of the victims of domestic violence. One example is restraining orders. Restraining orders set up a level of protection for the women from the male offenders. Another example of legislation is The Violence Against Women Act. Promulgated in 1994 the act mandates that all states enforce protective orders issued in a
In the past century, America has made great leaps in terms of equality. With the efforts made by the civil rights and suffrage movements, all people gained the right to vote. We are even moving forward with marriage equality, and currently fifteen states recognize same-sex marriage. But regardless of all of our progressive institutional movements forward, we continue to socially oppress women. Men’s violence against women has grown to be an internationally recognized epidemic, and will continue to grow unless measures be made to stop it. Domestic violence continues to be prevalent in the lives of many families, and is the primary cause of homelessness in half of cases for women in children. Many women have been forced to alter their behaviors out of fear of being sexually or physically assaulted. One out of every three women is sexually or physically abused in their lifetimes. The first thing that comes to mind is, there are a lot of people abusing women out there. Many people with opposing ideas may claim that men can be victims of violence perpetrated by women, but in instances not used for self-defense, it is rarely part of a systematic pattern of power and control through force or threat of force. In fact, 99% of rape is perpetrated by men, but when confronting men about the issue of violence against women, it is often combated with denial. Jackson Katz writes in his book, The Macho Paradox, “We take comfort in the idea of the aforementioned child-rapist murderer as a horrible aberration. A monster. We’re nothing like him.”(Katz 30). The sad truth is that most women who are raped are raped by men they know, or even men they love. Many men have a hard time believing that saying that most violence is perpetuated by men does not...
It was the research of Dobash and Dobash, a husband and wife team from Wales, that first posited that “intimate partner violence is the result of male oppression of women within a patriarchal system in which men are the primary perpetrators and women the primary victims” (McPhail, B. A., Busch, N. B., Kulkarni, S., & Rice, G., 2007). According to Lawson (2012), feminist theories treat the problem of intimate partner violence as fundamentally related to the patriarchal domination of men over women. Historically, patriarchy was the dominant social structure from early Greek and Roman civilizations where women were considered to be the property of their father, if unmarried, and their husband if married. As such, women were often beaten, burned, and killed for not being obedient to a man’s
The theories and explanations for battered women's behavior started in the late 1970's as a result of the oppression of women. Feminist movements in the late 1970's caused great social uproar among legal and political...
middle of paper ... ... Women are always going to seem weaker than men, no matter how independent they are or how capable they seem to be able to handle the same punishment as me. At the same time, by being the weaker link, women have a certain advantage over men that could work in their favor depending on the situation at hand. Works Cited Anderson, E. A. & Co. (1976)
In her book, “The Cry of Tamar: Violence against Women and the Church’s Response,” Pamela Cooper-White analyzes the patriarchal nature of men in our society to assert themselves over women, or those who are perceived as being “weak” or “indefensible,” in order to establish their power and dominance. Be it due to a need to feel superior, or out of innate fear of losing their masculinity, and thus being removed from their place of entitled authority. Pamela Cooper-White is calling the church, as well as the community, who may otherwise turn a blind eye to these despicable acts, to stand together in support of the victims, offering a safe haven where they may have otherwise felt they had no place of refuge.
Kirk, Gwyn, and Margo Okazawa-Rey. "Violence Against Women." Women's Lives: Multicultural Perspectives. 5th ed. Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill, 2004. 263-64. Print.
It is common knowledge that Ray Rice used his wife as a punching bag in the elevator of an Atlantic City casino. What is truely remarkable is that his fiancé became his wife after that vicious left hook to the face left her unconscious. Why do women stay with men who beat them unconscious? Domestic violence is a serious and complex plague of society that affects all, but women make up the largest number of victims in most case studies. In the United States alone, '1.5 million women are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner each year. More than 500,000 women victims require medical treatment, and 324,000 victims are pregnant at the time of assault' (Berlinger, 'Taking' 42). Numbers like these show how intense the situation of domestic violence truly is. 'Two women a week are killed by a current or former partner and domestic violence accounts for 22% of all recorded violent crimes' (Jamil 70). Domestic violence takes such a large number in percentages regarding violent crimes, yet often is dismissed by many with the idea that 'this won't happen to me'. Somehow, somewhere, domestic violence will touch everyone whether by someone they know or by televised publication. Though domestic violence affects men as well, the female subject is more often the victim. Domestic violence has a continuous cycle that has been influenced since birth and can be stopped with intervention but each victim's reason for staying will vary.
During the 1980s and 1900s, domestic violence was one of the most unreported crimes that involve females and males getting hurt and dying. Kicking, choking, killing, and saying brutal or despise words that could hurt the victims physically or emotionally are considered domestic violence. In fact, many victims are afraid to seek for help. According to “The Domestic Violence Resource Center (DVRC), women account for approximately 85 percent of all intimate partner violence, with women aged 20-24 at greater risk” (Batten, par.16). Most pregnant women are at risk as well. “But underlying approach is still one that assumes the perpetrators are men and the victims are woman” (Haugen, par. 1). Moreover, both males and females believe that domestic violence is a solution to their issues.
Thesis: In my paper, I will be examining the different types, possible causes, and effects of Intimate Partner Violence, and what treatments or programs are available to combat this growing problem in America. Regardless of differing approaches to fight it, statistics show that women all across the world suffer from the effects of domestic violence at a similar rate independent of class, race, or religion.
Mankiller, Wilma, and others. "Violence Against Women." The Reader's Companion to U.S. Women's History. Dec. 1 1998: n.p. SIRS Issues Researcher. Web. 11 Mar. 2014.
One reason researchers and others had not chosen to investigate husband battering is because it was thought to be a fairly rare occurrence. Police reports seemed to bear this out, with in some cases a ratio of 12 to 14.5 female victims to every one male victim. But another reason is that because women were seen as weaker and more helpless than men due to sex roles, and men on the other hand were seen as more sturdy and self-reliant, the study of abused husbands seemed rela...