Alcoholism In Richard Wagamese's Indian Horse

Stories are much more than just ink placed in clean rows on paper or dialogues that travel through air columns. All stories transform worldly experiences into sources of inspiration and perspicuity and Saul Indian Horse’s story is no exception. In Richard Wagamese’s novel, Indian Horse, Saul Indian Horse explains the events that have resulted in him receiving treatment for alcoholism at a rehab centre. Readers are exposed to the former hockey player’s moments of triumph, failure, and everything that falls in between. Saul mentions in his story how a leisure pursuit like hockey granted him temporary freedom and happiness from his sorrow-filled life. Saul’s example can inspire First Nations individuals to remain resilient in the face of adversity.

Saul must delve into his past in order to write his story which allows him to analyze his past decisions, behaviours, and actions. Saul realizes that his decision to live in solitude plummeted him into more despair and he learns to value supportive relationships. Saul knows that the only way for him to tell his story is for him to be retrospective. Looking back on his past provides Saul with psychological relief. It allows him to stop consciously inhibiting the thought of unpleasant memories and the expression of the emotions associated with those memories. Saul Indian Horse’s life story serves to make him cogitate about his hardships in order to detach himself from the past, to make him realize that he must surround himself with supportive individuals and to teach First Nations individuals how to overcome emotional pain.
The act of storytelling forces Saul to finally cogitate about past traumatic events. The biggest problem in Saul’s life is not the traumas he endures, but rather his neglect to cogitate about them. Saul resorts to alcoholism because being in a drunken state allows him to direct his mind away from his troubled past. Saul then seeks professional treatment for his alcoholism at the New Dawn Centre where his counselor, Moses, instills in him that avoiding to reflect on the past impedes healing. Moses states, “if we want to live at peace with ourselves, we need to tell our stories” (Wagamese 3). A majority of Saul’s life is dictated by fear, a fear of remembering traumatic events and feeling all the negative emotions associated with each event. This fear drives Saul to internalize all these memories and emotions and causes his mind to be at unease. Writing about his life forces Saul to delve into his memories in order to determine which ones are relevant or irrelevant to write down. Revisiting the past allows Saul to finally reflect on what needs reflecting and to feel what needs feeling. Looking back is the only way that Saul can move forward. Art Markman, Ph.D. states, “The benefit is in creating a story that links together the emotional memories. Making these traumatic events more coherent makes memories of these events less likely to be repeatedly called to mind, and so they can be laid to rest” (Markman, “Trauma and the Benefits of Writing About It”). Saul’s tendency to avoid thinking about his past traumas results in a melting pot of disparate memories and emotions that linger in his mind. Its unorganized nature prevents him from sifting through all these memories and emotions; however, stories require coherent timelines and Saul finally chronologically organize his memories in order to provide his story with one. The process of writing his story not only allows Saul to stop living in the past but to also learn from it.
Telling his story and the reflection needed to do makes Saul learn from his mistake of living in seclusion.

The Kellys are not only Saul’s adoptive family but are also a source of support. When Saul lives with the Kellys, the importance of having a support system like them does not dawn upon him because of his fear of forming relationships. Consequently, Saul decides to leave the Kellys because he believes that his self-imposed exile can be beneficial for him. Saul believes that if he detaches himself from human interaction, it will impede any further suffering. Saul states, “feels like I’ve had enough noise and people for a while” (Wagamese 178). Delving into his past is mandatory for Saul to write his story because in order for readers to understand his present state, they must know the events that have transpired beforehand. When Saul looks back on the past he is able to see what decisions and actions have benefited him and which have not. For example, Saul is able to realize that every time he distanced himself from others, he only suffered more. This revelation makes Saul understand that despite his past negative experiences with individuals whom he trusted in the past, he should not completely deprive himself of human interaction. Saul returns to the Kelly’s and no longer fears to show his vulnerable side with them. Saul’s return is proof of him understanding that giving his pain a voice and having other people listen is what will allow him to trek through the pain of the past and the pain that future adversities could cause. Writing his story not only serves Saul to consider the lesson he can learn from living in isolation but also provides First Nations individuals with a lesson on how to deal with

adversities.
Saul’s past traumas are very similar to the ones that have sent fractures through the foundations of other First Nations’ lives, which is why it is crucial for Saul to tell his story so other First Nation individuals can learn to adopt healthy coping mechanisms. During Saul’s attendance at St. Jerome’s Indian Residential School, he is subject to the separation from his family and endures verbal, physical, and sexual abuse. Saul discovers a passion for hockey which transforms his miserable, depressing life at St. Jerome’s into a life that he can tolerate. Saul states, “it gave my lungs a workout and cleared my mind of everything but the ice. As I laced on the skates my fingers actually trembled. Not from the cold but from the knowledge that freedom was imminent, that flight was at hand” (Wagamese 64). Many First Nations individuals have been susceptible to the same experiences of familial separation, religious indoctrination, and abuse as Saul. It is because of this connection through mutual experiences that First Nations individuals would be enticed to immerse themselves in a hobby just like how Saul does to disengage from suffering. When Saul is playing hockey, his mind is not focused on the past and what happened to him, he instead focuses on the present and what is currently happening to him on the ice. Saul exemplifies how his involvement in a hobby has the ability to erode the residual effects of his past ordeals and if First Nations individuals follow Saul’s example they too can do the same in their own lives. It teaches First Nations individuals who have not found a way to cope yet, to develop a good coping mechanism. It can even inspire First Nations individuals who have already adopted a bad coping mechanism to develop a better one. Saul’s story serves to educate First Nations on how to repair the cracks in the foundations of their lives caused by emotional traumas.
The purpose of Saul’s life story is to force him to reflect on his traumatic past in order to move past it, to make him aware of the importance of having a support system and to teach First Nations individuals on how to successfully cope with past traumas. Experiences of cultural dissonance, abuse, and religious indoctrination not only lay their burden of pain squarely on the shoulders of Saul but only on the shoulders of many other First Nations individuals. Saul’s story teaches First Nations individuals that immersing oneself in a leisure pursuit can minimize this burden. Saul’s story is not only a source of knowledge for First Nations individuals but for himself as well. The process of writing his story forces Saul to analyze his past actions, behaviors, and decisions and to no longer avoid his past. Confronting his past makes him realize the faults in his ways and stops him from repeating the mistake of secluding himself from others. Saul eventually understands that forming relationships with supportive individuals can hasten his healing process. The abuse and racism that Saul endures is quite an emotional burden for him and his fear of addressing the distressing memories and emotions of his these ordeals only makes the weight of his burden heavier. A reflection on past experiences is imperative to compose a life story, which provides Saul with an alleviation from these internalized memories and emotions. Humans need sustenance to nourish their bodies but stories nourish what sustenance cannot. They nourish the human soul.