One of the greatest issues that people struggle with is the morality of sex in different situations. Perhaps we worry about it so much because it is such an intimate and significant event. From a purely biological standpoint, sexual intercourse is the means for what might be considered the most important biological function of humans – reproduction, the continuation of our species. But, as beings concerned with not only the biological aspects of life but also with morality, we must ask the question: when is it morally appropriate to engage in sex?
Let us throw religion to the wind, for the time being. Obviously, different religions (and even different sects of a single religion) have wildly varying opinions on when, where, and how sex is appropriate. However, if one simply looks at sex from the view of a general human being, who is not affiliated with any religion but strives to be moral, can one find a general rule for when sexual intercourse is suitable? The first and most obvious question is, should sex – and here we will assume heterosexual, vaginal intercourse, for simplicity’s sake – be reserved especially for marriage?
Obviously many religions, including Christianity, would say that sex should definitely be reserved for marriage and marriage only. But from a general human being’s standpoint, it is arguable that sex need not be set aside for marriage. Perhaps this seems a shocking claim, not because people rarely engage in sexual intercourse before marriage, for we know the opposite is true; but because premarital sex seems somehow wrong to many people, even to those who practice it.
Within certain religions, sex only within marriage is often taken as an absolute, but even Lauren Winner, in her Christian-oriented book...
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...one another, those who are considering marriage, or those who don’t believe in marriage at all but are willing to commit to each other for an extended period of time.
Sex is not something to be taken lightly. It is not something to engage in with that attractive person you met last night, or your significant other of barely two weeks. It should not be considered without discussing the potential consequences and without being ready to entrust oneself completely to another human being. Just because sex need not be reserved for marriage, this does not mean that it is something to undertake flippantly and unconscientiously.
Works Cited
“Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary: Marriage.” Merriam-Webster Online. 2010. Merriam-Webster, Inc. 24 March 2010 dictionary/marriage> Winner, Lauren. Real Sex. Grand Rapids: BrazosPress, 2005.
The association between monogamy, fidelity, and marriage has been the concern of religion over the years. It is said that Saint Augustine, who lived from A.D. 354 to 430, spread the Christian idea that adultery is a moral transgression for both men and women. Even the Ten Commandments forbid adultery. This attitude toward adultery, Fisher says, has long influenced the Western view of monogamy (84). In other words, religion has tried to moralize monogamy by injecting the belief that adultery is sinful and monogamy is permanent. Therefore, monogamy in a biological sense, contrary to the religious sense, does not necessarily connote sexual faithfulness of the partners, nor is it necessarily long term.
This ties back into the disgust point in that people generally will inflict their disgust response against women who have had sex before marriage and it does not matter if it was the woman's choice or not. In the book, Beck makes a comment about how sex often is looked upon as unclean or impure, “Sex isn’t just ‘wrong’: there is something ‘unclean’ and often disgusting about the activity” (p.160). When outside people look at those who have had sex before marriage, especially in the christian society, they are looked at as being unclean. However, this generally only applies to women. When men have sex before marriage they usually get a “slap on the wrist” or a talking to. Some even are given encouragement. Women are treated much differently in this situation. This can even be seen in the Bible when Mary is found with child after her engagement to Joseph, “Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). Joseph was part of a rare group of people because he did not want Mary to go through the disgrace of the public because the people would not have understood the situation. They would have seen here as disgrace and it would have humiliated her family and back then, engagement was taken very seriously. One could not simply “break up”, it was more like
“Sex and religion? Those two don’t really go hand in hand,” commented by a freshmen student from UF. Like this student, numerous people around the world believe this misconception to be true. Whether people argue for or against the importance of sex in religion, more than just what goes on the bedroom has been heating up lately. Many debates have sparked due to the negative connotation associated with sex when confronted about its position in religious cultures. A study done had proven a direct relationship between religiosity and sexual attitudes in college student, but to what extent are their spiritual values influential in their sexual beliefs and what are the reasons behind this (Beckwith, n.pg.). Either way, there is to some extent an influence on sexual behavior, whether it is by gender, ethnicity, or religion. After extensive research and several interviews, I’m determined to find the truth about sex and its importance in religious cultures, its effects on spirituality, and the roles it plays in religion.
In the article “An Anthropological Look at Human Sexuality” the authors, Patrick Gray and Linda Wolfe speak about how societies look at human sexuality. The core concept of anthology is the idea of culture, the systems of attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors people acquire as a member of society. The authors give an in depth analysis on how human sexuality is looked at in all different situations.
...efining who we are, it is impossible to isolate ourselves while making a moral decision, as the market forces are now a part of what we are. And thus the gift value of a good can be realized in commercial terms. We may value money less than or equal to the lower “use” value of a good hence it thinking about the two values of a personal good becomes contradictory and should be viewed differently. In my opinion sex and love are closely related but not one and the same. They do share some values such as mutual attraction, trust, pleasure, enjoyment, but sex is individually realized as even people in love may not have sex and still continue being in love and people who are in love might have sex with their loved one just to satisfy their own needs while the partner would agree to sex even though he or she might not enjoy it as much, but out of love, would do it anyway.
Cohabitation is when a couple chooses to live together without marriage, becoming sexually active and turning away from God. The Catholic Church loves those who are engaged but strongly watch over them if they are cohabitating. Sex outside of marriage is morally wrong and sinful. Sadly, today cohabiting is the norm, (SC 1) unlike before where it was strongly disapproved and those who did cohabit with others were discourages but now the world does not care anymore. Many people choose to cohabit because they may feel naïve and may not understand what they are feeling or the temptation is too strong to fight. Also, many couples mistake this choice for freedom, thinking they are freer if they cohabit. That is where the virtue of chastity is needed because chastity is the virtue that helps have self-control over pleasures and wants. A chaste person is not driven by urges or passions but can control themselves for the gift of their true selves to their real spouse. God made sex as a way to express our love physically with our spouse after marriage and for procreation, but sex is abused when people use it for nothing more than for physical pleasure. (SC 1)Couples should not live together without marriage, because they will undermine the benefits of marriage and doing so will have them in spiritual danger, they will create psychological stress, and it jeopardizes family relationships.
“…sex attains meaning in social relations, which implies that we can only make appropriate choices around sexuality by understanding its social, cultueral and political context.” (Quote: 9293 jeffrey weeks)
The state of celibacy is exalted above that of marriage in the Church based upon 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, which states, " He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. . . . And this I speak. . . that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction." That's a wonderful ideal, but 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, "But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn ( with passion)."
THERE’s much more to sex than the genitals, seeing someone bare or even the most common goal of sex – an orgasm. Sex experts will tell you that sex is intimacy; it is opening yourselves to spiritual mingling, exposing and exploring your sexual desires. But these are sometimes hindered by social constructions of sexual behaviour – the taboos, the myths and misinformation can sometimes make something as natural as sex very complex.
Halwani states that there are five conditions that must all be met for casual sex to be morally permissible. These five conditions are as follows.
When a man and a woman come together and bind in holy matrimony, two people become one. In marriage, two people come before the pastor and under God with their partner, to recite promises that are vows. In many religions such as Christianity and Catholicism, sex should be for left only for marriage. Sex is an emotional experience that is for married people to enjoy sexual pleasure together. Love and trust are sacred for the foundation of marriage.
The famous bishop of Hippo, St. Augustine, is claimed as a cornerstone of Christian theology by both Catholics and Protestants. Many of his views are regarded by Christians as authoritative interpretations of the Bible because they have withstood heated debate throughout the centuries. Christians ought to ask, however, whether such allegiance is justifiable in all cases. Augustine's idea of sex after matrimony, for example, is very narrow, restricting actions and emotions married Christians today consider part of the beauty of intercourse. A logical assertion then, is that Augustine's view of sexuality, as delineated in many writings, is a response to his life of sensuality prior to salvation; therefore, his idea about the intent for sex within marriage stems more from his former sin than from Biblical perspective.
I will begin first with the idea that sexual behavior should not be granted its own moral code. Sexual ethics only makes sense if sexuality plays a unique role in human life. If procreation has significance precisely because it is a contribution to God's ongoing work of creation, sexuality is supremely important and must be governed by restrictive rules, which would therefore prohibit sexual acts that are not for procreative purposes. This justification of sexuality as a unique aspect of human life, however, is dependent on a theological claim that there exists a God who micro manages the sexual lives of individuals. Without the presence of such a God, there can exist no separate restrictive rules on the nature of sexual acts. Even if we grant that there is a God, most people will agree that sex is more often used as a way to intensify the bond between two people and therefor sex is the ultimate trust and intimacy that you can share with a person.
These questions arise from our own desires as Christians to reflect a biblically sound attitude towards sexuality and relationships. That same desire to act according to biblical scriptures is subject to opposition from today’s culture and views about sexual relationships, gender, and roles. A new definition of marriage, sexual orientation, and sexual practices is challenging our relationship with God and our view of human sexuality. Bishop John Spong defines sex and its impact on relationships: “Sex can be called at once the greatest gift to humanity and the greatest enigma of our lives. It is a gift in that is a singular joy for all beings and enigma in its destructive potential for people and their relationships.” (Spong, 1988)
From the book of Proverbs, we are also told that God designed marriage and sex not only as a means for bringing children into this world, but also as God's appointed means for a man to find pleasure in his wife. In the New Testament, we are told that Jesus attended a wedding in Cana of Galilee and miraculously provided wine when their supplies were exhausted. The Apostle Paul also had a great deal to say about the covenant that God ordained between man and woman. Paul assumed that elders and deacons would be married and have bare children. Paul also encouraged younger widows to marry and he claimed the right as an apostle to lead a wife.