Conquering Social Anxiety: A Personal Journey

Overcoming Social Anxiety

I was ten years old when I was told I had some sort of social anxiety. I had no idea why I didn’t like to be in the public eye, I just didn’t. My parents were aware of this and they were told I should be introduced with other kids in a sporting activity or something of general interest. I had no idea what I was into really, TV and video games like any other kid, but obviously, they lacked social interaction. I just didn’t want to talk to anyone else; I just didn’t care for any attention. I was told to make my mind up and decide what kind of club I wanted to join. My parents suggested judo, a tough and disciplined sport that I always respected, I agreed but instantly regretted my decision…
The following day I was

I was watching the action at the heart of the club. This is where the more experienced judokas practiced, all of them looking fluent in every move they pulled off. Nobody ever made a mistake by the look of it. There was an older boy, around sixteen, nonchalantly throwing people to the ground, it seemed as if it was as easy as breathing to him. That is what I wanted to be able to do, not necessarily with judo, but with interacting. My stomach groaned harder and harder the longer I watched, I was terrified. I was really nervous stepping on the mat, knowing how I would get thrown on my back as soon as I did. The instructor introduced me to the rest of the class, I wanted to be sick but continued on anyways. Looking back, I did act strangely, even though everyone was extremely friendly and welcoming I still didn’t want to be a part of it. To this day I wonder why I was awkward in social in social situations, it confuses me, but it was a major problem to me back then. When I was asked to pair up with someone a shiver crawled its way up my spine. I looked about panicking about who I was going to pair up with, no-one was to be seen but a boy of my size. A thin boy with two of his front teeth missing, it didn’t stop him smiling from ear to ear though. The instructor told me to grip his collar and pivot. The fact that I actually put my hands on him confuses me to this day, it felt weird and uncomfortable and at the time I hated